Why is Rush so Cut-throat on the Sororities' End at Big Greek Schools?

[kchaptergphib]

Originally Posted by CALiMom

After pref night she called and said that she would be happy at either Sorority A or Sorority B but that she had put Sorority B first on her card. Although I am a member of Sorority A, I encouraged her to follow her heart... no pressure from me... but of course I was a little disappointed...
Then, to her shock, she got a bid from Sorority A. But SEVERAL older girls from Sorority B told her that they all had wanted her and if she had "suicided" Sorority B, she would have been Sorority B, instead of Sorority A... that she was IN Sorority A because she was a legacy and so was at the top of their list.

Again, some of this is private GLO membership selection stuff, some of it is bid matching, BUT, in reading your post, my assumption was that your daughter is not in Sorority B because she was not high enough on their bid list. And she likely matched with Sorority A because she is indeed a legacy, and as such, I assume, was on their first bid list.
The women from Sorority B should not be saying things like that for a number of reasons. First, because they really do not know where your daughter was on their bid list (or, at least, they certainly shouldn't) because they don't know how everyone else in their chapter voted. Also, of course, because MS is supposed to be private and not talked about after the fact. I'm sure the girls really did like your daughter, and maybe think they're helping by letting her know how well she did until MS, but it likely makes her feel worse, and think that she'd be able to withdraw from Sorority A and then try for Sorority B next year (BAD IDEA!!!).
In short, try to remind your daughter what she liked about Sorority A, that she can certainly stay friends with members in Sorority B, that she should get to know the women in her pledge class, and that she's really REALLY lucky to get to share her sorority with you! How exciting to be a Legacy!
Best of luck to you and your daughter.

[breathesgelatin]

What everyone else said. But just emphasizing AGAIN that probably only 1-2 people in the chapter see the final bid list - the President and Recruitment Chair, or other officers depending on the organization's structure.

Sororities have subgroups within them. Even if all of your daughter's friends in Sorority B ranked her #1 (or whatever), they have no idea what members outside their friend group did. At my chapter (and I have no problem saying this) we were required to be TOTALLY SILENT from the time the final preference night party finished until voting was finished for the night. We had NO IDEA what anyone else did. All that we knew for sure was that if any legacies attended pref night, they would be on our first bid list.

It bears being said one more time that #1 and #1 is an automatic match. If a PNM ranks a group first, and that group places her on the first bid list, she will be matched there.

So your daughter wasn't on Sorority B's first bid list. She was on Sorority A's first bid list, by virtue of being a legacy.

[33girl]

I will be B for Blunt. Sorority B for Bitchy is trying to make her feel B for Bad. She could have suicided them and been left high and dry. And I'm guessing they are quite well aware of that. Especially if both groups made quota & are t total.

She made the B for Best decision.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I will be B for Blunt. Sorority B for Bitchy is trying to make her feel B for Bad. She could have suicided them and been left high and dry. And I'm guessing they are quite well aware of that. Especially if both groups made quota & are t total.

She made the B for Best decision.

Nice one!