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Old 08-24-2008, 02:01 PM
DSTCHAOS DSTCHAOS is offline
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What the poster is going through is very common right now. A lot of couples aren't getting married because of employment and financial reasons, whether it's a joint decision or the man (often) making the decision.

I say, go with your gut feeling on this and make sure you have personal and couple's counseling to help you keep a clear mind. A lot of people will say you're just being insecure, which may be true, but finances are real and have a psychological and a physical impact on most people. It isn't your imagination that you hate your job and that you have a college degree but not that much money. The kinds of issues you're dealing with are a big cause for divorce so it isn't the case that love is enough or that love conquers all.

Some men and women can be in a relationship and a marriage where they aren't equally yolked educationally or financially. I'm not one of those people so I have lived my life accordingly. The good thing is that you have a college degree, which most pizza delivery men don't have. You and your fiancee' need to reach a compromise and part of that may be that you can't plan the wedding until after you get a new job. However, don't wait until you've completely settled on a career or advanced at your new job before you get married. That takes time. Even people who have MBAs and have been in a career for 15 years reach a crossroads with their careers and feel the effects of high unemployment rates and recessions. So you can't put life on hold in hopes that your career and finances will be perfect and without any glitches. Get a good start, get married, SAVE MONEY AND BEGIN TO BUILD WEALTH and then let your career ups and downs be worked out in the context of your healthy, happy marriage.
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Old 08-24-2008, 04:05 PM
PhoenixAzul PhoenixAzul is offline
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She said yes to you while you were a pizza delivery guy. That means that, degree or no, you are worthy of her love, that she LOVES you, and doesn't care about the prestige of your job.

People do this often..."we'll (get married/have a child) when (we make more money/have a house/pay off the credit cards)". The short answer is that...well, these things might not ever happen, like you may never have "enough" money or the "right" job. But you have *a* job and you're looking for one, you're not laying there like some overcooked eggplant, you're doing SOMETHING, and you obviously want to marry this woman because you're stressing about this.

Get to a counselor, sort yourself out, take a deep breath, send some CV's, and keep working. Never let anyone deny you your dignity because of your job. You work, you make an honest living. That is nothing to be ashamed of.
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Old 08-30-2008, 10:59 AM
BetteDavisEyes BetteDavisEyes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul View Post
She said yes to you while you were a pizza delivery guy. That means that, degree or no, you are worthy of her love, that she LOVES you, and doesn't care about the prestige of your job.


Never let anyone deny you your dignity because of your job. You work, you make an honest living. That is nothing to be ashamed of.

Co-sign to both!

She loves you. The title and prestige of your job is of little importance to her. 3 years is definitely long enough. She has stuck by you through all these years so it's time to go through with marrying a good woman.
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