New Sister with a Chapter Problem

[ree-Xi]

Yikes, I am really sad for you but the safety of members is paramount. What is the official status of your sorority now? Suspended? Was the charter revoked?

Best of luck to you and congratulations for those of you who spoke up. Sometimes doing the right thing is really hard.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

Update: Hi all. Just wanted to make a quick update for anyone who is interested. After bringing up the situation at chapter and seeing the large amount of resistance from alumnae and active sisters, one of my pledge sisters decided to make a call to Head Quarters. After an investigation, I am sad to report that our chapter is no longer open. My sorority experience ended before it really began.

That is unfortunate. Did they allow you alum status? I hope so. Don't forget that you can STILL be involved as an alumna.

You did the right thing. It's better to blow the alarm now than it would be to wait until something terrible happened and the police got involved.

[beautifulnite12]

We are waiting for final confirmation on who has been offered what status - some sisters are being offered alum status while others are not. Our chapter's charter has been revoked.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

Update: Hi all. Just wanted to make a quick update for anyone who is interested. After bringing up the situation at chapter and seeing the large amount of resistance from alumnae and active sisters, one of my pledge sisters decided to make a call to Head Quarters. After an investigation, I am sad to report that our chapter is no longer open. My sorority experience ended before it really began.

I apologize for your loss.

However...

People said this was going to happen:

Don't go to nationals... that would destroy your entire chapter. Stand up for the pledges when its happening or refuse to be present at any such events- threatening a call to nationals if you receive punishment for your refusal to participate. Its hard to change tradition though, as you've discovered.

or..

Don't go to the anti-hazing hotline.

Seriously, deal it yourself, ply power around. It's not hard to change the chapter unless it's more than 200 people.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

Update: Hi all. Just wanted to make a quick update for anyone who is interested. After bringing up the situation at chapter and seeing the large amount of resistance from alumnae and active sisters, one of my pledge sisters decided to make a call to Head Quarters. After an investigation, I am sad to report that our chapter is no longer open. My sorority experience ended before it really began.

(my bold)

Shame on them. I hope that you have a chance to be involved with a really wonderful alumnae association, and learn what your sorority is really all about. And if you so desire, become an advisor to a chapter. You seem to have exactly what's needed!

[AOII Angel]

The situation must have been far worse than she let on to have the nationals close the chapter. The behavior sounds pretty engrained if the alumnae refused to change! Beautifulnite...I'm sorry that your class, who wanted to make a change, will not be allowed to continue your chapter. Maybe you guys should band together and petition your nationals to let you guys rebuild the chapter. Of course, things may be way past that stage. Best of luck.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

The situation must have been far worse than she let on to have the nationals close the chapter. The behavior sounds pretty engrained if the alumnae refused to change! Beautifulnite...I'm sorry that your class, who wanted to make a change, will not be allowed to continue your chapter. Maybe you guys should band together and petition your nationals to let you guys rebuild the chapter. Of course, things may be way past that stage. Best of luck.

My thoughts exactly. Inat'l must have discovered severe hazing and not just piddly stuff like the OP suggested. In my personal experience I've never heard of a chapter getting shut down over minor hazing. Put on probation, including social, and chapter wide education programming yes, but never losing a charter. I suspect HQ also discovered little remorse or willingness to change.

For your sake beautifulnite and those who wanted to change things with you, I'm sorry it came to this. I'm sorry you were not able to change your other sisters minds. I'm sorry that the hazers were not willing to realize they were putting their new members' lives, their own membership and the chapter's charter in jeopardy.

I know it's little consolation to you, but your Inat'l must protect the organization as a whole. The actions of one chapter can have severe ramifications for the whole org. Hazing can be dangerous and we must protect our newest members. Lawsuits can cost big bucks and the negative publicity that always comes about paints the entire org as guilty.

[LegallyBrunette]

Originally Posted by honeychile

(my bold)

Shame on them. I hope that you have a chance to be involved with a really wonderful alumnae association, and learn what your sorority is really all about. And if you so desire, become an advisor to a chapter. You seem to have exactly what's needed!

I am so sorry to hear about your chapter closing and it is truly a shame that some alumnae were unsupportive. I agree with honey that if you have the opportunity, you should try to remain involved. Although I'd imagine it's very hard to recognize right now, all of the NPC orgs are much bigger than their collegiate chapters and you can still have a positive experience as an alumna. Best wishes.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

The situation must have been far worse than she let on to have the nationals close the chapter. The behavior sounds pretty engrained if the alumnae refused to change! Beautifulnite...I'm sorry that your class, who wanted to make a change, will not be allowed to continue your chapter. Maybe you guys should band together and petition your nationals to let you guys rebuild the chapter. Of course, things may be way past that stage. Best of luck.

I think you are right, but on the other hand, she said something to the effect of 'it's not really that bad, unless something horrible went wrong'.

[DGTess]

Why would you NOT want to close your chapter if it has a reputation for hazing?????

Having a chapter close is not the worst thing that can happen. If you are proud of your GLO, you would want chapters that don't life up to its name to be punished. Sure, it's your chapter too, but take the moral high road. If you're charged with hazing (even as part of a group) you all go down. If you STOP the hazing, whether or not you're acknowledged, you know you did the right thing.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Why would you NOT want to close your chapter if it has a reputation for hazing?????

Having a chapter close is not the worst thing that can happen. If you are proud of your GLO, you would want chapters that don't life up to its name to be punished. Sure, it's your chapter too, but take the moral high road. If you're charged with hazing (even as part of a group) you all go down. If you STOP the hazing, whether or not you're acknowledged, you know you did the right thing.

DGTess, her chapter did not "have a reputation for hazing". At least not that the OP mentioned. I would imagine that any normal 18-22 yr old girl would not join a chapter she knew would be hazing.

She said the hazing started during the pledge process.

And she and her new member class DID try to take the high road by trying to change the new member program and how the chapter operated during that process. They went up against older members and even alums that wanted things to stay the same to "protect the traditions" and were unsuccessful.

So do us a favor and re-read the thread before you write another post that doesn't make any sense.

The OP & her pledge class KNEW that hazing wasn't right, and they did try to change it... unfortunately, they were unsuccessful, and thus the chapter is being closed.

[beautifulnite12]

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and PMs. Even though this is just an online forum, it does help to know that people are thinking of you and that some have even been where we are now and know what we're going through. Many of the older sisters having turned against our pledge class, knowing that it was one of us who spoke with HQ, although the sister who actually made the phone call has been allowed to remain anonymous. (Except obviously to those of us who knew from the start that it was her.)

And to clarify for a few of the questions and comments, much of the hazing that was hazing, however physical harm would have been highly unlikely. When I said "unless something went horribly wrong," I was speaking more about the things that can happen regardless of whether you are hazing. (ie: car accidents, falling and becoming injured, freak health conditions, etc.) I don't believe our chapter had a reputation for hazing (again, at least not one that any of us who accepted bids knew about).

What we have been lead to believe is that the chapter was closed more because of what happened during the investigation than the events that lead to the investigation. During the investigation, many of the older active sisters and alumnae who were interviewed "rewrote the truth", left out major details, or just refused to cooperate with the National Officers who were conducting the investigation. I know they are my sisters, but seeing the effect that all of this has had on my sisters in this chapter have made me question lots of things that might have been happening inside of the chapter while we were pledging and we were just not aware of. In the end, regardless of what happened, our chapter is now closed.

After talking with my chapter, I have some questions about the future. There is a chance that we will be able to recolonize in 3 years after all current sisters have graduated, although I'm not sure if the sisters who were members of the current chapter we would be allowed to help with the recolonization? Also, since we had a new member class this semester and they signed bid cards, but were not initiated, would they be allowed to pledge somewhere else next semester or do they need to wait a full year still? I also don't know how receptive other groups on campus might be to giving them bids in the future. I do feel bad for those women too, since they accepted bids and began the process only to be told that the chapter is closing. Does anyone have any insight into either of those things? We were told that we could contact HQ with questions, but it's a little awkward to think of calling them right now...

[Benzgirl]

You might not have known about the hazing before you pledged because it might not have existed. All it takes is one person hazing one pledge and it can be taken as such.

I'm also very sorry to hear that your chapter closed. But, I can't blame your sister for making the call. She did the right thing to many in your chapter, although many of the upper classmen may be upset with her.

I'm very upset that the alum didn't cooperate with the investigation. They should know better.

Unfortunately, I can't answer some of the questions you posed, but would encourage you to contact the HQ or a regional director. Don't be ashamed of being a victim.

[KSUViolet06]

If the new members weren't initiated, they are free to pledge elsewhere. I'm not sure if the one year waiting period applies to therm though. Anybody know?

[lilzetakitten]

I believe that the one year rule doesn't apply to women who were pledged to a chapter that closed, but I'm not 100% sure.