Is it crazy that I want a roommate around my age?

MTSUGURL · #1 02-19-2008, 03:40 PM

So, I live in a pretty town home in Tennessee with a roommate, Andi, who is one of my closest girlfriends. It's been great - we're both on the same level of cleanliness, we have personalities that are similar and different in all the right places, we each respect the other's space and need for solitude at times, have similar sleep patterns, and share all expenses (including groceries.) We hang out together a lot, and it doesn't bother either of us that our Christmas tree is still up in the dining room.
The problem is that we need a third roommate. Her parents own the house, and they're currently paying the third of the mortgage that we're not covering with rent. Although we'd love to turn that third room into an office, she can't afford to split the remainder of the rent in half. We both work full time. She's 28, I'm 30, and we would really prefer to have another roommate that's not in college. Not that I don't love college students, but we would prefer to have someone that's also working full time, closer to our ages or older, etc. We just can't seem to find one. So in the next few weeks, we're showing the room to a few girls all around 20 years old. I'm a bit nervous. Our original 6 month lease is ending soon, and her parents have to put the house on the market if we can't find someone. (Her mother has cancer and the house is draining their savings.) I'm thinking it may just be easier for the two of us to move, but she's being really hesitant on that end as well. I just want to be assured of a place to live and not worry that it will be sold out from under me.

Help. Am I being awful to just really want a roommate close to our ages? I know college students can be quite responsible, several are paying their own living expenses, but we have such a quiet, peaceful place and I dread any changes to that.

Fawn Liebowitz · #2 02-19-2008, 03:51 PM

Nope, not awful or crazy at all - keep looking - there's someone out there.

33girl · #3 02-19-2008, 03:57 PM

Not crazy at all - I think the concept that y'all could live with someone age 20 is crazier, IMO.

Put an ad on Craigslist and specify 25 or older, working full time (if you haven't) or check out the LJ community for your city. I've seen a lot of people find roomies & apartments thru the Pgh LJ.

Good luck!

UGAalum94 · #4 02-19-2008, 04:31 PM

This probably isn't the right time in the academic year but have you tried to advertise within academic departments at the college for either graduate students or recently hired instructors?

They may be closer to the target age and lifestyle range.

MTSUGURL · #5 02-19-2008, 04:36 PM

That's a good idea - hadn't thought of that.

Dionysus · #6 02-19-2008, 04:37 PM

No. I'm in my mid-twenties, and cannot see myself living without a roommate or shacking up with a significant other. I like my privacy (that's what bedrooms are for), but I also like being around other people and having my expenses cut in half (or thirds). Growing up an only biological child and not living on campus as a collegiate, I CRAVE living with people my age.

When I was active in my young adults group in church, it wasn't uncommon for the single ones in their late 20's and early 30's to become roommates.

ZTAngel · #7 02-19-2008, 04:44 PM

Try roommates.com. You can meet your potential roommate before they sign the lease and make sure that they're not a serial killer. I think roommates.com even lets you search by age.

You're not crazy for not wanting to live with a 20 year old. Their mindset is completely different than someone in the working world. Looking back at my 20 year old self, I could never live with someone now who is the way I was back then! I'm not saying that all 20 year olds are like that but the majority probably could never understand what it's like to have a full time job and huge responsibilities. Keep looking for someone closer to your age group. You'll thank yourself later down the road.

AlethiaSi · #8 02-19-2008, 04:54 PM

I agree with Dionysus,
I can't see myself living without someone either, I live with THREE girls in a house! Sure it's a little difficult to keep money and chores divided fairly and to make sure everyone does them (i'm often reminded of being house president when it comes to this), but we're all 24 and I don't want to move out any time soon.
I would definitely do a craigslist listing with flexible age limits depending on other circumstances (full time job, etc) and definitely check out grad students in the area (I've had many friends and sisters that got their apartments in grad school thru checking posters and stuff around campus or through craigslist)
i did a quick google search and found roomster.net
and roommates.com
idk how useful it is, but it's worth a shot

SOPi_Jawbreaker · #9 02-19-2008, 05:20 PM

Are there any large companies near where you live? Around here, Merck pharmaceuticals is huge, and they have bulletin boards in their buildings where people can post flyers for roommates. If there's any large companies nearby and you know someone who works there, see if you can get your friend to post a flyer for you.

MTSUGURL · #10 02-19-2008, 05:32 PM

What's difficult about where I live is that it's a college town without many major companies, and the majority of jobs out here are things like restaurants, hotels, retail, etc. We've advertised on Craig's List, Christian Classifieds, and Roommates.com. We're about 45 minutes from Nashville (my roommate commutes back and forth,) so finding someone over 22 that needs a roommate situation is kind of like finding a needle in a haystack. The majority of our single friends close to our age seem to own their own home, which neither of us are ready for, or they live alone, which neither of us can quite afford.
She's optimistic, but I'm the worrier. I've moved about 7 times in the past 5 years, and I'd really like to stay put for a while.

LucyKKG · #11 02-19-2008, 06:22 PM

Well, this story comes from the other side. I'm the youngest person in the house I'm renting right now. I'm 20, and my housemates are 22, 23, and 29. I don't like living with the 29-year-old for reasons besides her age, but it definitely is a factor. She isn't in school, so she's in a different "phase" of her life. I need space to study, I need to get to sleep earlier, etc. This is her actual home, whereas I only live here when I'm going to school, so we have totally different expectations.

I guess my point is this: it isn't a good idea for either party.

navane · #12 02-19-2008, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

Am I being awful to just really want a roommate close to our ages?

No!

I'm 30 years old and I'm the "baby" of my household. I live with two male Marines ages 37 and 44 (yes, really!) and they are the most awesome roommates ever! (Hooray for craig's list!)

After picking me, they later explained to me that they had a lot of interest in the room and had shown the place to about 20 people; however, most of the prospects were young college kids who didn't have jobs (!!!). They liked me because I had a stable, professional job and had no aspirations to up and move out-of-state or something. (They probably also like me because I was a 29-year old female.

)

They said they felt really bad about turning down so many younger students, especially since we live in a college town. Since they're both in the service, they have to go on training exercises and missions. They were nervous that, while gone for 30+ days on an exercise, a college student wouldn't pay the rent or would suddenly "need to move". Plus, you know, it's just awkward having a 20-year old hanging out with older guys.

When I was in my late 20s, I lived with girls who were in their early 20s and we just weren't in the same phase of life.

I've found that, even with women in their "mid-twenties", their approach to paying bills, lifestyle, and outlook were still a bit immature. They were still students and didn't quite "get" what it means to be a working professional.

So, no, I don't blame you for wanting a roommate your age. Though, you may need to take "anyone" if it means you get to stay. When they move out, you can try again.

.....Kelly

MTSUGURL · #13 02-20-2008, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

Well, this story comes from the other side. I'm the youngest person in the house I'm renting right now. I'm 20, and my housemates are 22, 23, and 29. I don't like living with the 29-year-old for reasons besides her age, but it definitely is a factor. She isn't in school, so she's in a different "phase" of her life. I need space to study, I need to get to sleep earlier, etc. This is her actual home, whereas I only live here when I'm going to school, so we have totally different expectations.

I guess my point is this: it isn't a good idea for either party.

I get what you mean, and this is part of my concern. My roommate is a grad student, so she's partly where you are, and then she works at an ad agency full time as well... "best" of both worlds if you could call it that.

Y'all are so helpful. You have no idea how much all your comments have eased my mind.