advice needed

[auburnmom2007]

so give this "stupid" mom the information that will allow my child to participate in something she really wants to be a part of in college. she sure didnt realize how important this would be to her until she shared the short time with "sisters" of different sororities.

[PenguinTrax]

Tell her to attend any COB opportunity that she can, take time to look at all the available chapters with an open mind and keen eye, research the nationals and chapters to learn as much as she can about them, and then just sit back and enjoy herself. Get to know the members in the more relaxed COB atmosphere and hopefully she will find her 'home' without even trying to find it.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by auburnmom2007

so give this "stupid" mom the information that will allow my child to participate in something she really wants to be a part of in college. she sure didnt realize how important this would be to her until she shared the short time with "sisters" of different sororities.

I do not think your "stupid", but I am not understanding why your posts seem to be so hostile towards the members of this community. We have been trying to give you helpful information.

Here are some ideas you may want to pass along: 1. Get good grades and keep them up. A strong GPA is helpful. Most of the sororities have a higher GPA than the non-greek population at most schools. 2. Get to know actives in all the chapters. 3. Get involved in other organizations (SGA, Habitat, intramurals, etc.) 4. Get Recs to all the chapters written by people who have met your daughter. 5. Do not bash, be sarcastic, condescending, etc. towards the greek community. Some greek organizations have something called a "No Rec". While not used unless absolutely necessary, it does happen.

[NOLA25]

My daughter just went through recruitment at Alabama. Before pref night, each PNM was given a booklet (Preference Primer). It states if you are invited to one pref party and you place one choice on your pref card, you have maximized your options and you will receive a bid from that chapter. If you are invited to two pref parties and you place those two choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those two chapters. If your are invited to 3 pref parties and and you place those three choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those chapters. You are guaranteed a bid if you have maximized your options in any of these situations.

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by NOLA25

My daughter just went through recruitment at Alabama. Before pref night, each PNM was given a booklet (Preference Primer). It states if you are invited to one pref party and you place one choice on your pref card, you have maximized your options and you will receive a bid from that chapter. If you are invited to two pref parties and you place those two choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those two chapters. If your are invited to 3 pref parties and and you place those three choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those chapters. You are guaranteed a bid if you have maximized your options in any of these situations.

Very interesting, NOLA25. That "Preference Primer" information sounds like the way I personally think guaranteed matching should work -- but I know that campuses can and do operate differently. I would encourage you to post the information in this thread, too:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=89527

(It’s the one entitled “Gaurenteed matching” in the main “Recruitment” forum.)

[ZTA72]

I know nothing about COB, but since you asked for advice, I will put forward the same advice that I gave my daughters when they went through rush.

" When you are talking about being greek, only speak positively, don't make any negative comments to ANYONE about a particular group, you never know who is listening or who is related to who(m) ".

We are a military family and have lived in many different environments.

My daughters apparently heeded this advice and it has served them well.
Please feel free to PM me with any questions.

ZTA72

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

By what authority? I agree that the college PANHELLENIC (meaning the actives and their chapters) is bound by those rules, since the constituent GLOs have all agreed to follow the rules and could pull the charters of the chapters if they had wet rush. But if I'm the dean of students at the University of Michigan, and I decide to hire Jane Doe to be the Greek Advisor, then Jane Doe works for me and for the State of Michigan. Where would NPC get the power to control what Jane says? She has never agreed to follow their rules or be under their jurisdiction.

NPC has authority only to the extent that its constituent members agree in advance to cooperate and follow its rules. It has no power to control what outside players do. Note, for example, that a few years ago, the president of Princeton sent a letter to the whole freshman class saying that GLOs are bad and detrimental and urging students not to join them. I'm willing to bet that this went against some NPC policy. But NPC does not get to control what Princeton employees tell Princeton students about sorority recruitment.

You are correct. If the Greek Life office posted that recs are needed, the NPC could get pissed, but they couldn't compel them to change anything.

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

I think what people should keep in mind about recs and the SEC is that going to a system that downplayed them would probably actually be worse for the unknown or out-of-state girls. At least now there's a chance that a member from the girl's hometown can get the chapter to take a look at her. Without recs, it would be closer to exclusively based on who the girls in the chapter already knew personally before recruitment, and that would leave even more PNMs out in the cold (or heat if we consider the actual recruitment environment).

This is true. Someone said earlier in this thread that women should be grown-up enough to do their research. I spoke to the sorority women I knew (mom, her friends, a teacher) before rushing, and they NEVER mentioned recs, because they all rushed at schools where they were not needed. Even if I had gone off to an SEC school, it would not occur to me to go research something online when I had information from personal contacts.

[auburnmom2007]

to all whom have made any post please accept my humble apology if i seem hostile towards anyone here or wherever you may be...that is not my agenda in joining this community. please all understand i am trying to understand "why" or how this went so wrong (or possibly right) for my daughter i am only concerned for her well being. i have asked for advice and received a lot of useful insights. A great big THANK YOU to all here. My daughter is home and has read most of these posts. do we need recs for COB?

[Low C Sharp]

information distributed through College and Alumnae Panhellenics shall contain nothing that infers letters of recommendation must be secured by the potential member

First of all, NPC, you meant imply, not infer.

Second of all, university Greek life offices are not bound by NPC rules. They can tell PNMs the truth, and they have no excuse if they don't.

Third of all, if NPC thinks it's a bad thing that PNMs at some schools have to secure recs themselves, the solution is to change the REALITY, not to forbid people from telling the truth about reality. Either all the NPCs at that meeting in 1992 were represented by members who have no idea how things work at big SEC-type campuses (not plausible) or they actually imposed a national policy of hiding the truth.
________
Marijuana Vaporizer Portable

[luvinlife]

I hope I can get advice from you all....My neice is in her third round. She received invitations to 6 sororities. She is devistated that the 2 she loved the most dropped her on this last round. One of them was a legacy. With the 6 she has left, she loves 2 of them, and cannot see herself at all with the other 4. She positively knows that she does not want to be in these 4. Should she be quiet("shy") with these 4 houses, so that she is not invited back?

[FSUZeta]

she should not be "shy" because she does not know who will invite her back and they may be her only chance to participate in greek life this year. she may revisit the 4 she thinks she does not like and fall in love with them. we have seen that happen in gc threads. if her attitude toward them does not change, she should NOT list them on her bid card.

[SWTXBelle]

I concur - encourage her to present her "best self" at ALL the parties. If she doesn't change her mind about some of the other 4, she certainly doesn't have to put them on her pref card.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

First of all, NPC, you meant imply, not infer.

Second of all, university Greek life offices are not bound by NPC rules. They can tell PNMs the truth, and they have no excuse if they don't.

Third of all, if NPC thinks it's a bad thing that PNMs at some schools have to secure recs themselves, the solution is to change the REALITY, not to forbid people from telling the truth about reality. Either all the NPCs at that meeting in 1992 were represented by members who have no idea how things work at big SEC-type campuses (not plausible) or they actually imposed a national policy of hiding the truth.

I hope that the second part of third items isn't the case, but as far as the first three, yeah.

[Bamamom13]

To: auburnmom2007

This is my first post, although I have been reading for quite a while. My daughter rushed at Bama last year and although she had recs for each chapter, legacy to one, beautiful, great gpa etc. she fell through the cracks and was crushed. She did all that everyone is saying to you. She made Dean's list, got involved on campua, made lots of wonderful friends. She re-rushed this year, found it to be easier going the second time around and got her first choice. The advice you are getting is really good advice and works! My d found that there is life without being greek, even at bama, but she will tell you now that greek is the best.

[auburnmom2007]

thank you for your reply. my d mailed the COB form today, what does everyone think about rush as a soph? at auburn. Any advice or ideas?