Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

NinjaPoodle · #1 07-11-2007, 11:55 PM

Ghetto Weddings II
Ghetto Weddings I

For your amusement..we certainly have enjoyed the stories...

sageofages · #2 07-12-2007, 12:21 AM

I don't know about worst....but my mother's family has a knack for throwing memorable weddings.....shall I recap for you??

There was the time the brattiest cousin of them all hit the floor during his ceremony when the priest got to to the part about having children....(total crack up from the other cousins). Then later during the reception he picked up his bride to carry her out, and dropped her

. snicker snick snicker...

And it seems like most of the wedding receptions on my mom's father's side (maternal grandfather) end up having a fist fight or two at them. I can't think of one in the last 25 years that hasn't. Like the time, another cousin got married...and there was a huge brawl back in the bar room of the hall that it was held at. My uncle went in to break it up, pulling people out of the pile, only to find his little brother (my other uncle) at the bottom of the pile. Where upon, fight-breaker-up brother started tossing dog pile people OUT THE DOOR (I am NOT KIDDING) for having pummelled his younger brother. oh, the policed were summoned for that one....it was hilarious actually.

SWTXBelle · #3 07-12-2007, 07:58 AM

There seem to be some common themes emerging - hot (summer brides, beware), running late, and running out of food! This should be required reading for brides-to-be!

AlphaFrog · #4 07-12-2007, 08:21 AM

I don't know if this even counts, but my husband's stepbrother had a courthouse wedding. The bride wore a BLACK dress. I was in charge of keeping her four little brats (ages 9, 7, 5 and 3) quiet during the ceremony. The only other people there were the bride's parents. My husband couldn't even come, because he was working, and there was no way for him to get out of it. The justice of the peace kept looking at my husband's step-brother and saying "You DO realize you're getting married, right? Are you sure you want to do this??".

They are still married, and have added two more kids into the mix. Hey - at least that makes two sets of kids (the two oldest and the two youngest) who are full siblings!

mystikchick · #5 07-12-2007, 08:56 AM

Aahh these stories are hilarious! I don't have a 'worst' wedding story per say - but I have an anecdote.

The first is from the wedding of my now ex's older brother. The wedding itself was fine, in a nice little Methodist church outside of Baltimore, and everything was going fine (well, except for the bride's father mistaking an Indonesian friend of the middle brother for one of the waitstaff and proceeding to insult him...

) until we get to the part where the ministers are making their little speeches. There were two ministers officiating, a man and a woman. The woman goes first. "Here we are today, gathered together on this beautiful day. Beth and Jean look beautiful. All of you look beautiful. This church is beautiful, the weather is beautiful," AND ON AND ON! She must have used the word beautiful every other word for a good 10 minutes! To make matters worse, the middle brother started to feel as though he was going to pass out and looked as pale as death, and hearing this minister use the word beautiful so many times did nothing to help. Finally she finishes (no disrespect but we all kinda wondered what she was on...), and the other minister goes up and says "Yes, everyone looks beautiful, even Bill! (the bride's dad).

ForeverRoses · #6 07-12-2007, 09:26 AM

Ah the memories. My husband has a friend from college, we'll call her "Squeeky". Anyway, Squeeky married her college boyfriend who decided half-way through college to become a minister, so he dropped out and went to the seminary.
Their wedding took place in the chapel at the seminary and the director of the seminary was the officiant. During the vows he told Squeeky that now that she was entering the bonds of marriage, it was her duty to submit to her husband's wishes. At this point my own husband had to lean over to ask me to release his hand because I was squeezing it so hard it was about to break.
I remember Squeeky had to make all kinds of vows but her husband only had to pledge to love and honor her. I distinctly remember that Squueky was vowing things and her husband was pledging them. Not sure why the difference in language.

Anyway, the reception was in a hall at the seminary, and when we get there, all we see is a cake. After standing around for about half an hour a guy comes in with a boombox that looked straight out of 1987 (this was in 1998) and puts a Christian music tape on- and not contemporary Christian, but very traditional old-school stuff. Finally the bride and groom arrive, they cut the cake (no mints, no nuts) and someone pulls out some 2-litres. Everyone helps themselves to cake and we sit down, waiting for the reception to "begin", then the throw the bouquet. No garter toss- against seminary rules- it's considered "lewd". Also no first dance or any dancing for that matter becuase it's also against seminary rules. So about 15 minutes after the cake was cut, all the guests were leaving.

So cut to two years later when my husband and I are getting married. We get an e-mail from Squeeky stating that she cannot come to the wedding because it is in a Catholic Church. But no hard feelings, right? And she sends us a gift- a candle holder and candle. It's pretty, but when we were opening the gifts at the brunch the day after our wedding, one of my husband's groomsmen mentions that the candle holder looks very familiar. Turns out it was the gift that he had given Squeeky.

BetteDavisEyes · #7 07-12-2007, 09:38 AM

Here's one that still makes me laugh.

A friend of mine went to a very fancy & gorgeous wedding at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove. I remember she showed me the invitation and it stated that the wedding was black-tie so of course, she is dressed up & her boyfriend is in a tux. She told me it was an absolutely stunning wedding ceremony.
Then the reception started. It was in the basketball gym of their local rec center. She was told that there would be a buffet so after the ceremony, she's thinking they'll be having some sort of fancy dinner but instead, the guests were each given one Styrofoam cup with their name put on it in Sharpie marker b/c there were not enough cups to go around so you better not lose it. And it got worse. For "dinner" the guests stood in a buffet line so that they could be given a plastic plate with 8 ritz crackers (no joke) and there was a HUGE wedge of cheddar cheese that some old lady was giving each guest 2 small pieces from it. They also got a little bit of fruit. They got one ladle of punch and the wedding cake was a sheetcake with the bride & groom's picture on it. That's it.

My friend couldn't believe it and when she told me, I couldn't stop laughing.

AlphaFrog · #8 07-12-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I remember Squeeky had to make all kinds of vows but her husband only had to pledge to love and honor her. I distinctly remember that Squueky was vowing things and her husband was pledging them. Not sure why the difference in language.

It's a biblical thing. Most churches don't take it to that extreme, but the language is in First Corinthians, I believe. I don't remember the exact wording - as we did our vows in Spanish.

Also, if you've ever read the Five Languages of Love, it makes more sense.

tld221 · #9 07-12-2007, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystikchick

Aahh these stories are hilarious! I don't have a 'worst' wedding story per say - but I have an anecdote.

The first is from the wedding of my now ex's older brother. The wedding itself was fine, in a nice little Methodist church outside of Baltimore, and everything was going fine (well, except for the bride's father mistaking an Indonesian friend of the middle brother for one of the waitstaff and proceeding to insult him...) until we get to the part where the ministers are making their little speeches. There were two ministers officiating, a man and a woman. The woman goes first. "Here we are today, gathered together on this beautiful day. Beth and Jean look beautiful. All of you look beautiful. This church is beautiful, the weather is beautiful," AND ON AND ON! She must have used the word beautiful every other word for a good 10 minutes! To make matters worse, the middle brother started to feel as though he was going to pass out and looked as pale as death, and hearing this minister use the word beautiful so many times did nothing to help. Finally she finishes (no disrespect but we all kinda wondered what she was on...), and the other minister goes up and says "Yes, everyone looks beautiful, even Bill! (the bride's dad).

oh that is just awful! [tangent] i was at an afterwork event where my (Indian) co-worker was wearing a black skirt, white blouse and a pinstriped vest and at least 2 co-workers asked her for hors d'oeuvres. she was like, "well, im never wearing THIS outfit again!"

OneTimeSBX · #10 07-12-2007, 10:22 AM

i. am. eloping.

i just dont understand?? i am confused thru my tears of laughter!

i havent been to any completely disastrous weddings, some of them just had moments where everyone kinda looked at each other like "wha?"

there was the lovely reception with the nazi servers. by the the time we hit the end of the buffet line, i could still see plate. that is a big thing with me: seeing plate. that means you were being super stingy with the food.

another reception was held in a church basement. with grey concrete brick walls. how chic! there was one long decorated table, right up against the wall, which meant everyone had to squeeze to get to their seat. oh, and that table was just for the wedding party. across from them was about 4 rows of chairs. i elbowed my girlfriend and whispered "what, are we going to watch them eat?" i was halfway right. no tables for us guests.

one girl had an absolutely awful soloist, one of her aunts. we STILL laugh at that.

i think my least favorite experience was standing in southern VA, middle of July, 97 degree heat. in a full length bridesmaid gown. my daughter, the bell ringer, looked a complete frizzy mess by the time we got into the church. it had to be 80 inside, so hot that the brides veil was sticking to her forehead, and one of the jr. bridesmaids had to sit down because she felt faint. the church was slam-packed, people were standing in the back and on the sides. other than that it was a very nice wedding.