Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[aephi alum]

The worst wedding I ever attended was the wedding of a high school / college classmate of my husband's: "Aaron".

Aaron had been raised as a Conservative Jew. Once in college, he rebelled and became totally non-religious. Some time after college, he "got religion" and decided to become a practicing Orthodox Jew.

In Orthodox Judaism, it's common for a matchmaker to introduce a young man and a young woman who might be well matched. If they hit it off, they sometimes get married pretty quickly. So, Aaron had been introduced to this young woman, "Leah", and they set a wedding date six weeks (!) away.

They sent out wedding invitations instructing guests to email (!) their responses.

Before and during the wedding ceremony, men and women were separated (very common in Orthodox Judaism). Before the ceremony, I made my own way, chatting with other women guests, but my poor DH had to pray along with the groom and all the other men... He was less than thrilled.

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Then came the Reception From Hell.

The seating at the reception was totally haphazard. Everyone at my table was a high school friend of the groom's, except me (placed there as my DH's wife) and one random guy who was a coworker of the groom's. The one random guy looked absolutely miserable, seated with no one he knew. There were huge gaps in the seating arrangements, because everyone who didn't respond was evidently assumed to be coming.

There was dancing (men and women were again separated). At one point, a line of women danced onto the floor, rocking their arms as if cradling babies, while the band played a lullaby. Hint much?

All the kosher caterers in Boston are booked up years in advance, because there are so few of them. So the happy couple had arranged catering from the local kosher Chinese restaurant (!!). And as if that weren't bad enough -

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD.

THEY FREAKING RAN OUT OF FOOD.

So they sent back to the restaurant for more food. After a nice long delay while the food was prepared, it was sent over, and by the time it arrived it was COLD.

And there was no cake, pareve or otherwise.

DH exchanges emails with Aaron from time to time (he and Leah have a baby) but I haven't spoken to him since.

Oh, and the thank-you card? Over a year late.

[KSUViolet06]

I attended a wedding my freshman year (as a guest with one of my guy friends) that was AWFUL. The bride was his friend from HS. The bride and groom were both 19 and worked at a local Walmart. When he called her to RSVP, she sounded really excited and told her that her dad had "spared no expense" and it was going to be a really great event.

It started off on a bad note. The church had no air conditioning and it was 90 degrees outside!

The ceremony was scheduled to begin at 1:00. The bride overslept! It didn't start until 3:30! The pianist had another wedding at 2:00, so she left & they had to walk down the aisle in silence. A bunch of guests left because it was taking entirely too long (the reception was scheduled to start at 2:00).

By the time the ceremony was over, it was 4:00ish and I was starving (I hadn't eaten since like 10 AM). So I was looking forward to the food (since the invite said the menu was an Italian buffet).

We pull up to the place, and it's the GYM of a local veteran's hall.

THERE ARE NO CHAIRS. NOWHERE TO SIT. EVERYBODY HAD TO STAND.

There is also no DJ, BAND, SINGER, DANCING MONKEYS, NOTHING! NO ENTERTAINMENT!

So we get inside and here's the kicker:

The reception had NO FOOD. There was a sheetcake, a plate of cookies, and punch. NO FOOD.


We were FLABBERGASTED. My friend asked the bride's mom when the food would be arriving. She replied, "Oh I know on the invite it said there would be a buffet, but we just could afford it. Sorry. You can put your gifts on the floor in the corner."

The bride was just as happy as can be, there was no indication that she was upset about the way things were going. She walked up to us and asked us if we were enjoying ourselves. WTF? YOU HAVE NO FOOD, ENTERTAINMENT, OR SEATING! We are standing around. I could do this at home.

This was the shortest reception I've ever seen. Within about a half hour of getting there, everyone had congratulated the couple, put their gifts on the table, and gotten out of there.

That was the most awful thing I've ever gone to in my life. We were starving to death by the time we left and couldn't wait to leave so we could go out to eat.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I was invited to the wedding of a cousin whom I have little contact with. She had an elaborate and traditional Mexican church wedding in a beautiful church. It was truly a spectacular ceremony. Then the reception from hell began.

When we were told that she wanted a traditional Mexican wedding, we weren't told one little thing. Traditional, in the mind of her annoying mother, meant that ALL THE WOMEN GUESTS PREPARE AND COOK THE FOOD FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF THE MEN!!!

I couldn't believe it. There we were, all dressed up, expected to cook for someone else's father, brother, husband, etc. My mom, sisters, & I just said thanks for the invite, see ya!

[NinjaPoodle]

Ghetto Weddings II
Ghetto Weddings I

For your amusement..we certainly have enjoyed the stories...

[sageofages]

I don't know about worst....but my mother's family has a knack for throwing memorable weddings.....shall I recap for you??

There was the time the brattiest cousin of them all hit the floor during his ceremony when the priest got to to the part about having children....(total crack up from the other cousins). Then later during the reception he picked up his bride to carry her out, and dropped her . snicker snick snicker...

And it seems like most of the wedding receptions on my mom's father's side (maternal grandfather) end up having a fist fight or two at them. I can't think of one in the last 25 years that hasn't. Like the time, another cousin got married...and there was a huge brawl back in the bar room of the hall that it was held at. My uncle went in to break it up, pulling people out of the pile, only to find his little brother (my other uncle) at the bottom of the pile. Where upon, fight-breaker-up brother started tossing dog pile people OUT THE DOOR (I am NOT KIDDING) for having pummelled his younger brother. oh, the policed were summoned for that one....it was hilarious actually.

[SWTXBelle]

There seem to be some common themes emerging - hot (summer brides, beware), running late, and running out of food! This should be required reading for brides-to-be!

[AlphaFrog]

I don't know if this even counts, but my husband's stepbrother had a courthouse wedding. The bride wore a BLACK dress. I was in charge of keeping her four little brats (ages 9, 7, 5 and 3) quiet during the ceremony. The only other people there were the bride's parents. My husband couldn't even come, because he was working, and there was no way for him to get out of it. The justice of the peace kept looking at my husband's step-brother and saying "You DO realize you're getting married, right? Are you sure you want to do this??".

They are still married, and have added two more kids into the mix. Hey - at least that makes two sets of kids (the two oldest and the two youngest) who are full siblings!