Can engaged/ married veterans rush???

[als463]

Thank you very much...I'm sorry-I didn't mean to make it sound as though I have little respect for him...I did not mean that...I mean-I've been to Iraq too doing things with my Army unit....I was just saying...it's something he wants to get involved with. You are right about the whole campus climate thing-so, I def. will take that into consideration....I know he won't def. be able to mesh w/ some guys on EVERYTHING but, he is very easy to get along with and he understands the importance of committment (as we've seen with the military). He just sees how much I love my experience and he wants the same thing for himself. He doesn't think that his age should deter him from joining or being accepted because he is very goal oriented and knows how important it is to be involved with activities (aside from having a great GPA). He has had the camraderie from his Navy buddies and he wants that same feeling with guys in college, too. We both come from a small area (we went to the same H.S.) where most people don't even go to college. Now, when we go home-it's so hard to find anything to talk to most of our friends that didn't go to college or go Greek because we're all at different places in our life...he would like to have other guys (whatever age/ all ages-because that's what fraternities are usually made up of) to talk with and connect with...it would be nice to get involved because I intend on being VERY INVOLVED with my alumnae chapter....so, I apologize if it came off as me being snooty since I wasn't trying to say that people who aren't greek don't deserve respect-that's not what I meant, so I am sorry. We are both just really excited and he's willing to be VERY COMMITTED!!! I know you may be at a different place in your life now...but, he feels sort of like he missed out on the college experience since he was away-in a sense he has told me he's a bit jealous because I've had that experience...now is his time to have that chance. I just wanted to know what other fraternity men thought about this situation. As I said before-I would never offend another member of the Greek system (intentionally) because I enjoy it so much and have the uttmost respect for people in it-I was complimenting people in it-not trying to down those not in it...so, I'm sorry-I just want to know how the Greek Climate for Fraternities at places like maybe U.Penn, Cornell, Johns Hopkins, etc. because he's most likely transferring there when he gets out of the Navy this summer.....Any guidance would be great guys (or girls)!!! Once again-thank you everyone for your advice!

[Kevin]

Is he likely to be very committed because of you, or because he really wants to be?

I was always skeptical about these sorts of guys going through rush because their girlfriends told them to, or because they thought it'd bring them closer together.

Why is he really doing this? Is this your decision or his?

It sounds like with this guy's veteran status, he probably won't need too much more to put on his resume. Greek life won't be (and isn't for most people) that big a deal when entering the work force.

-- and yes, some organizations do have age caps. I'm pretty sure mine does (but I'd have to go to the books to tell you what it is).

[als463]

No-he really wants to do this! He's really excited. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was my idea...I was just emphasizing how much he enjoyed doing things with my chapter and how he wants to do the same in a fraternity. This has nothing to do with getting "closer" or even building his "resume" because as you said-he already has lots on his resume to begin with. Joining a greek organization is important for so much more than resumes (which I'm sure you know being in one yourself)....this gives him the opportunity to get into the college mind set, aside from the work itself. He wants to make a big campus (which Cornell for example has a big greek system) seem smaller....I'm not pushing him-I def. stand behind him, though. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to join at 25 (it's not like he has children or he's in his 40's-not that I would look down on that, though)...I just wanted to know how most of the men on here would look at a guy interested in doing the Greek thing after being in the military....I wanted to see if they thought that would hold him back or if it would help him stand out in a crowd of other men who wanted to join their organizations...You'll have to excuse me on this one too because I don't really even know the process of joining a fraternity because sororities do it different.....

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by als463

No-he really wants to do this! He's really excited. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was my idea...I was just emphasizing how much he enjoyed doing things with my chapter and how he wants to do the same in a fraternity. This has nothing to do with getting "closer" or even building his "resume" because as you said-he already has lots on his resume to begin with. Joining a greek organization is important for so much more than resumes (which I'm sure you know being in one yourself)....this gives him the opportunity to get into the college mind set, aside from the work itself. He wants to make a big campus (which Cornell for example has a big greek system) seem smaller....I'm not pushing him-I def. stand behind him, though. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to join at 25 (it's not like he has children or he's in his 40's-not that I would look down on that, though)...I just wanted to know how most of the men on here would look at a guy interested in doing the Greek thing after being in the military....I wanted to see if they thought that would hold him back or if it would help him stand out in a crowd of other men who wanted to join their organizations...You'll have to excuse me on this one too because I don't really even know the process of joining a fraternity because sororities do it different.....

If he is going to school, and it sounds like is of sound mind and somewhat adult, then while it may be hard to do the normal recruitment, He or you should help him to check our the GLOs on Campus with not only their web sites to see what their ideals are.

So, when he finds the one he feels most comforatable with, have him look at them and then talk with them.

There are really no bad GLOs, some do more stupid things and I do not actually feel He will put up with it from being a little older and what his background is!

Do I suggest Him looking YES!

[als463]

Thank you so much for your advice Tom...I might send you a message later regarding this issue if that is alright with you. As I said before, ANY advice is welcome and thank you to all who have replied!!!

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by als463

Thank you so much for your advice Tom...I might send you a message later regarding this issue if that is alright with you. As I said before, ANY advice is welcome and thank you to all who have replied!!!

YES it is! PM me anytime!

A big step is about to be taken for both! But you understand of course!

[SigmaNuHX766]

I'm pretty sure mine does (but I'd have to go to the books to tell you what it is).

Sigma Nu does not have an age cap to the best of my knowledge... one of the brothers that was initiated 2 semesters before me is 34 and attending graduate school for Engineering Management. It may vary from chapter to chapter, however... FYI.

[SWTXBelle]

My now-ex husband was married to me when he served as president to a colony of Sigma Chi - and then as president of the new chapter. I think the conflict was because of his position, not so much because he was a member. I will admit - I resented the fact that the fraternity ALWAYS seemed to take precedence over me. Then again, please notice he is my ex. I think a balance can be struck - so your guy should be able to be an active member and pay attention to you. It all boils down to time management.