Mother-in-laws

[ZTAngel]

Maybe I'm rare but I really like my future mother-in-law. She's awesome and is very good to both my fiance and me.

[AlphaFrog]

I guess I should add that my husband didn't get so lucky - we live 3 miles away from his batshit crazy MIL.

[AOIIBrandi]

I thought that the issue between my MIL and me was that we just came from two different "worlds" until last year...

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, no kids, she is desperate for a gandchild. Last year she said to me (without my husband present of course) "Do you think C would have married you if he had known you didn't want kids?" - because it's all my fault. She also asked another entirely inappropriate question (which I won't post here) in the same conversation. I was so stunned all I didn't say anything. When my husband confronted her about it later she said "It's not my fault Brandi can't have an adult conversation". I'm sorry, but in my opinion that is not an adult conversation. I would never say that to anyone, not even my best friend. I assume if two people get married and stay married as long as we have it's not because one of them got suckered into it.

There are many other incidents, but this is not the correct message board for them

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOIIBrandi

She also asked another entirely inappropriate question (which I won't post here) in the same conversation. I was so stunned all I didn't say anything.

I'm really scared thinking about what this might have been.

My little's MIL was one of those "nice on the surface, but underneath you're really not good enough for my baby boy" types. Of course their divorce was all my little's fault. I think I'd rather deal with someone who is just straight up rude and doesn't hide it.

[KSigkid]

I'm lucky, my mother-in-law is great, and has been since my wife and I got together.

[Cardinal026]

My future MIL is awful. We've been dating for 6.5 years (well, were on a break for a year in between, but still spent all our time together during that year) and she thinks that I'm not good enough for him. She and her husband are VERY well off, and look down on my family since we aren't as rich, and she makes constant, ridiculing comments. On Christmas Eve, she pretty much lost it when she found out my BF was coming to my house the next morning to open presents - she actually grabbed my arm and pushed me back, yelling at me that I wasn't married to her son and wasn't family, and if he (my BF) wasn't at her house Christmas Day, then I was never welcome at their house again. ((Note: They had never invited him, or mentioned to him, that anything was going on Christmas Day - we assumed they were only celebrating Christmas Eve festivities)). This is only the icing on an absolutely crazy cake.

BUT - I like looking at the bright side, and it is that in this situation in particular, and all others, my BF has taken my side. He's quick to tell her that she's out of line, that he and I are a family, etc. So its nice that in spite of the headache, I do know that our bond is stronger than her (lack of an) influence on him.

[AChiOhSnap]

I think the vast majority of "bad MIL" stories aren't actually a result from a seriously evil, hovering MIL and a totally victimized, innocent DIL.

I think that most MIL problems mostly occur when the MIL/DILs can't or won't be flexible with "the way things are done." People get really passionate about their traditions, familial expectations, and boundaries. So when Mary MIL suggests that maybe Danielle DIL should quit her job to stay home with the kids, Danielle is like "Hell no, this is my life and my family, butt out" and Mary is totally offended, saying "How could you go against our family tradition like that? That's not what's best for my son and grandkids." Of course, this pisses off Danielle even more and the whole debate becomes a point of extended familial contention. And thus an ugly MIL/DIL relationship begins to snowball.

Now for my future MIL stories...
Let me first say that I really love my FMIL. She's a great person and we get along very well, and she's even told my fiance that she wants to be the most easygoing MIL ever. For the most part, she's been an absolute angel. That said, she's a little "kooky" in some really funny ways. She's not exactly the most "in touch" person while I'd say my fiance and I are culturally "with it" as most 20somethings are (i.e. we know how to perform a Google search and we know that Britney Spears is a singer, etc.)

My only funny MIL stories have to do with a total, utter breakdown in communication due to what can only be described as cultural boundaries (in that I live in 2007 and she lives in 1975). For instance, MIL wanted to give my younger brother a birthday present. She asked me for ideas, so I gave her a few ideas like video games, electronic equipment, books, etc. She ended up giving my brother a bunch of Star Wars action figures. Now my brother likes Star Wars as much as any other guy, I guess, but he certainly isn't like a die-hard fan. I should also mention that brother's a COLLEGE FRESHMAN and hasn't owned toys in years. (My fiance later spoke to FMIL and the only thing she ever said about it is that someone told her that Star Wars action figures can be worth a lot of money and that she thought that they would be nice "collectibles"). Thanks for the thought anyway MIL! She's funny like that.

Other quirks include FMIL's habit of using what she perceives to be "rap slang" around black men (embarassing), mailing me every magazine/newspaper article/printed-out chain email that she believes might be remotely related to my life....everyday (annoying), and owning a pet rat that I think is rabid (scary).

She means well.

[southernbelle84]

I was very lucky. I get along great w/ my mother in law. She's very sweet. Of course she has her moments.... like when my husband and i said that we were moving the wedding up to Dec instead of June. We've been married for almost 3 months and she's gotten use to her little boy being married.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I've had my ups & downs with mine. It's gotten a lot better lately but she still has her moments. My hubby says to just ignore her b/c she's never going to change.