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James 03-25-2007 01:54 PM

Mother-in-laws
 
I always hear these nightmare stories about mothers-in-law . . . judgemental, demanding, not liking the daughter-in-law etc.

I was wondering . . . are these types of stories generally true? Or at least common enough to warrant it being thought of as commonly true?

Maybe its just an urban legend.

But why would Mothers-in-laws be so bad? Do they just not think the girl is good enough for their son? And didn't they have a mother-in-law they hated? So why would they do that to some other poor girl.

You would think they would try and stop the circle of violence.

Any good Mother-in-law stories?

texas*princess 03-25-2007 03:16 PM

Every guy at work calls their MIL their Monster In Law.

One of them calls his MIL "The Donald" :p

aephi alum 03-25-2007 04:10 PM

There are definitely some horrible MIL's out there. I'm unlucky enough to have one.

There was the time she tried to twist our arms to have our wedding in her home town (so all her friends could attend) rather than in our home town (so all our friends could attend).

There was the time she came over to my house on Yom Kippur and demanded that I serve lunch. (Yes, she is Jewish, as am I.)

There's her constant nagging for us to have a baby so that she can be a grandmother.

Basically, she thinks nobody is good enough for her little boy, and she thinks that she, not me, should be the number one most important woman in DH's life. She's had a lot of trouble adjusting to the idea that I am the most important woman in DH's life now.

MIL's own MIL is a sweetie. MIL's mother, though... like mother, like daughter. MIL's mother thinks the entire world revolves around her and we are all here to do her bidding... and MIL herself believes the same thing.

FIL is no prize either. Last time we saw him, he told DH in front of me that he should have had sex with Anna Nicole Smith. (Way to go, Dad, tell your son to cheat on his wife, in front of the wife!)

My parents won't talk to my inlaws. Unfortunately, I have to interact with them for DH's sake, but I try to keep it to a minimum.

We're meeting the inlaws for dinner tonight. I may be posting in this thread again before the evening is out...

James 03-25-2007 04:57 PM

http://www.motherinlawstories.com/mo...s_12_25_99.htm

Crazy mother-in-law site.

Quote:

I'm having MIL problems, and we're not even married. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 6 years. We own a house together and we are engaged. His mother HATES me. Due to the fact that I have never done anything mean to her, and that I have done her countless favors, I can only believe that she hates me because we are not the same religion. My fiancé's brother also married outside his religion, and MIL hates her too, also for no apparent reason. This woman is mean, cold and nasty to me, and since my fiancé is a spineless, gutless wonder, he would never say anything to mommy. I told him that since he does and says nothing to her, that he is sending a message to her that this type of behavior is ok with him. He just doesn't get it. She openly favors her daughter's two young kids, and her other son's daughter has asked me a number of times, "why doesn't grandma like me?" She has managed to break us up twice. She single-handedly cancelled our wedding 3 times. This woman would chew off her own arm if it would prevent us from getting married. I have never wanted another human being dead before ... I do now. She has caused us, and her other son and his wife, so much grief. I finally told my fiancé that we are NEVER getting married, because of his mother. He said, "I though you wanted to get married." I said, "I do want to get married. I just don't want to marry you." We are in therapy now because of her. Our therapist asked us what we fight about, excluding his mommy, and we couldn't come up with anything. I'm not sure about this, but doesn't it say in the Bible that a "Husband shall leave his mother" for his wife?

PhiMuAmberkins 03-25-2007 05:23 PM

Although I'm not married, the one time it looked like that might happen, my situation was the exact opposite. I LOVED the woman who would have been my MIL...it was her son that was the problem. We never fought about his parents at all. She actually told me that she wished she had another son who wasn't stupid, because she wanted me to be her DIL more than anything! As much as I love the woman though...I'll just keep her as a friend!

Glitter650 03-26-2007 12:14 PM

I have a friend who's MIL is TERRIBLE to her, calls her fat, caused all kinds of greif when she was planning the wedding.. etc, so its' not just an urban legand.
If I end up marrying my BF I will be lucky enough to get a SUPER MIL. Both his parents are very nice and treat me very well. His dad once asked if they could trade my BF for me since I was "so polite and well raised" and his mother said "well I'd be glad to take on Cara... but I can't give up my son". Hopefully she still thinks that way if I marry her son !! hehe =)

valkyrie 03-26-2007 01:25 PM

I am fortunate in that I've never been seriously involved with a guy who has a domineering, obnoxious mother.

I find this quote that James posted interesting:

This woman is mean, cold and nasty to me, and since my fiancé is a spineless, gutless wonder, he would never say anything to mommy.

Why in the hell would this woman marry a spineless, gutless wonder? Holy hell.

AlphaFrog 03-26-2007 01:37 PM

Woah - I guess I'm lucky then that my MIL lives 3000 miles away in Mexico, and I've never met her (my parents have, and they say she's an awesome lady, though). I have talked to her on the phone a few times, and she seems like a sweet enough woman. Eventually, I'll get enough vacation saved up and we'll get to go visit.

ZTAngel 03-26-2007 01:41 PM

Maybe I'm rare but I really like my future mother-in-law. She's awesome and is very good to both my fiance and me.

AlphaFrog 03-26-2007 01:57 PM

I guess I should add that my husband didn't get so lucky - we live 3 miles away from his batshit crazy MIL.

AOIIBrandi 03-26-2007 02:20 PM

I thought that the issue between my MIL and me was that we just came from two different "worlds" until last year...

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, no kids, she is desperate for a gandchild. Last year she said to me (without my husband present of course) "Do you think C would have married you if he had known you didn't want kids?" :eek: - because it's all my fault. She also asked another entirely inappropriate question (which I won't post here) in the same conversation. I was so stunned all I didn't say anything. When my husband confronted her about it later she said "It's not my fault Brandi can't have an adult conversation". I'm sorry, but in my opinion that is not an adult conversation. I would never say that to anyone, not even my best friend. I assume if two people get married and stay married as long as we have it's not because one of them got suckered into it.

There are many other incidents, but this is not the correct message board for them ;)

southernbelle84 03-26-2007 02:22 PM

I was very lucky. I get along great w/ my mother in law. She's very sweet. Of course she has her moments.... like when my husband and i said that we were moving the wedding up to Dec instead of June. We've been married for almost 3 months and she's gotten use to her little boy being married.

BetteDavisEyes 03-27-2007 02:01 PM

I've had my ups & downs with mine. It's gotten a lot better lately but she still has her moments. My hubby says to just ignore her b/c she's never going to change.

33girl 03-27-2007 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOIIBrandi (Post 1418706)
She also asked another entirely inappropriate question (which I won't post here) in the same conversation. I was so stunned all I didn't say anything.

I'm really scared thinking about what this might have been. :eek:

My little's MIL was one of those "nice on the surface, but underneath you're really not good enough for my baby boy" types. Of course their divorce was all my little's fault. I think I'd rather deal with someone who is just straight up rude and doesn't hide it.

KSigkid 03-27-2007 02:57 PM

I'm lucky, my mother-in-law is great, and has been since my wife and I got together.


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