Is sex really that big of a deal? - Page 2

Drolefille · #16 03-16-2007, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrel10

If you want to date a guy who's goal isn't to steal your virginity, then it will take a little work. Those guys do exist out there, but you have to look for them.

Amen.

That said, looking through a church or religious group is a good place to start

christiangirl · #17 03-16-2007, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Amen.

That said, looking through a church or religious group is a good place to start

Here's what happened the last time I found a guy at church.....I thought you might enjoy this: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=67657

Wow, Monet....that was a whol' lot in one post. Umm...well, in answer to some of that 1. I took the class because it was a psych class, part of my major, taught by my favorite professor 2. No, I'm not wavering, it's not worth it. 3. I'll keep all that in mind....tantric....hmmm....

Drolefille · #18 03-16-2007, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Here's what happened the last time I found a guy at church.....I thought you might enjoy this: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=67657

Wow, Monet....that was a whol' lot in one post. Umm...well, in answer to some of that 1. I took the class because it was a psych class, part of my major, taught by my favorite professor 2. No, I'm not wavering, it's not worth it. 3. I'll keep all that in mind....tantric....hmmm....

Ok, well they're not ALL going to be winners... I was just thinking your odds would be better there. I'm lucky, I found my guy in high school but we share the same religion and beliefs and that has made a BIG difference in our relationship, sexual and otherwise.

ΑΓΔSquirrel10 · #19 03-16-2007, 10:27 AM

The guy that was Mr. Internet-Cartoon-Man was a guy I met at the Baptist organization at my college. However, I have met many wonderful guys in that same ministry. Every single guy you meet at churches and college ministries are not going to be amazing, but there are some that deserve a second glance

Diamond Darlin’ · #20 03-16-2007, 11:15 AM

Okay, so, I would just like to thank you. You've given me hope. LOL, I'm a Fr. and I have never had sex. I datd the same guy for four year, from 8th to 11th grade, we broke up when he joined his frat, and i was still in HS, and now 2 years later we are,... um... Friends, but more then that, I guess u could say friends with benifits cus neither of us is ready to put the work into a full time relationship, especially since we do not go to the same college, and it is hard for us to get to see one another. It has been a real strugle in the past that i wouldent have sex with him. I think it gets better and better, but I was begenning to feel like i was the only person in college who hasent had sex. It was driving me insane. Now i know there are others out there to look up to. THANKS!!!!

AlphaFrog · #21 03-16-2007, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond Darlin’

Okay, so, I would just like to thank you. You've given me hope. LOL, I'm a Fr. and I have never had sex. I datd the same guy for four year, from 8th to 11th grade, we broke up when he joined his frat, and i was still in HS, and now 2 years later we are,... um... Friends, but more then that, I guess u could say friends with benifits cus neither of us is ready to put the work into a full time relationship, especially since we do not go to the same college, and it is hard for us to get to see one another. It has been a real strugle in the past that i wouldent have sex with him. I think it gets better and better, but I was begenning to feel like i was the only person in college who hasent had sex. It was driving me insane. Now i know there are others out there to look up to. THANKS!!!!

Hon, if you're a virgin, you do NOT have friends with benefits. Unless they're only getting the part-timer's compensation.

Diamond Darlin’ · #22 03-16-2007, 12:01 PM

LOL yeah, thats the interesting part, Have you ever had a physical relationshiip without actually having sex, well thats the same things we do. It's just like a relationship without sex, except you are allowed to see other people, you dont have to chack in, and we dont get too centimental, or atleast not most of the time

tld221 · #23 03-16-2007, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond Darlin’

LOL yeah, thats the interesting part, Have you ever had a physical relationshiip without actually having sex, well thats the same things we do. It's just like a relationship without sex, except you are allowed to see other people, you dont have to chack in, and we dont get too centimental, or atleast not most of the time

so yall are just "talking?"

thats what it sounds like to me.

Diamond Darlin’ · #24 03-16-2007, 12:53 PM

No

we do more then talk, and we've done more then make out, but i'm also not into publishing everything we've done online so thats all the farther i'll go with it. It is possible to have a physical relationship without having sex. There are things other then sex. It just makes you more creative.

christiangirl · #25 03-16-2007, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond Darlin’

No

we do more then talk, and we've done more then make out, but i'm also not into publishing everything we've done online so thats all the farther i'll go with it. It is possible to have a physical relationship without having sex. There are things other then sex. It just makes you more creative.

Hehe, girl they don't understand. We can have friends with benefits, too...they've just forgotten how to get creative with it

. But yes, there are more of us, we're just a rare commodity.

I've tried to meet guys at church, the only problem is that I go to a small church, we've tended to pass around guys since there aren't many options. Once I move, that'll open up some doors, but it's just so discouraging that a choice that I've made is limiting my life. I have no intention of changing it, but outside of an arranged marriage, I'm losing hope over here. I know that I have my whole life ahead of me and guys my age are generally half-baked anyway, but come on. I never really believed I'd marry a guy who waited too, but at this point, the only guys who honestly respected my decision have been WAY older than me and I wasn't comfortable being with them anyway...(what 27 year old wants to get with an 18 year old? Yeah, he didn't want anything except my company...of course he didn't....)

AlphaFrog · #26 03-16-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I've tried to meet guys at church, the only problem is that I go to a small church, we've tended to pass around guys since there aren't many options.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find something really wrong with this?

tld221 · #27 03-16-2007, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Is it just me, or does anyone else find something really wrong with this?

well yeah... but passing around men isnt as unusual as you think. esp. if ol christiangirl's town is small enough that the straightmale/straightfemale ratio is out of whack. does this make it right? nope.

i guess if sharing men because there arent enough to go around is wrong, then the women at CG's church doesnt wanna be right.

but that does lead me to ask: how is CG passing around guys if a. she's a virgin, and b. supposed to be all christian-like?

valkyrie · #28 03-16-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

but that does lead me to ask: how is CG passing around guys if a. she's a virgin, and b. supposed to be all christian-like?

For reals.

I also don't understand the point of all the "friends with benefits" and "creative" things the virgins here are doing. I really don't want to know what this creativity involves, but if y'all are doing what I think you're doing, how is that morally superior (or more Christian-like or whatever you'd call it) than having actual sex?

christiangirl · #29 03-16-2007, 06:59 PM

Hold it. By "passing around" I don't mean having a huge orgy-fest! I mean at church we are all friends. So....how can I put this....it's the same concept as dating in a small town or a small school....with such few people, it is entirely possible that the guy/girl you're dating has in the past dated one of your friends and will date another one of them in the future--and by dated, I don't mean "messed with" I mean "went out with." The whole "Don't date your friend's ex rule" really can't apply. Not being nasty, it's just a ratio thing. So that's why I shot down finding a guy at church--we've known each other for so long, I'd seen all there was to see there by the time high school was over.

No one is more superior to anyone, you'll never hear me say that. All we said is that you can be physical without having sex. I don't think you guys realize that virgins have our own language.

Most people see "friends with benefits" being synonymous with (excuse my slang) "f--k buddy." In virginese, the "benefits" in question can include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, making out, etc. OR even just being emotionally tied--literally, things you wouldn't do with just a friend. The creativity is finding ways to be physically and emotionally close without sex being involved--and by being creative we mean the virginese creative not the do every nasty, freaky thing on the planet but claim we never actually had intercourse creative.

Diamond Darlin’ · #30 03-16-2007, 07:44 PM

I think shes right, I think you have to have lived it to fully understand it.