Destination Weddings

jon1856 · #1 02-25-2007, 10:07 AM

If you are looking at doing a destination wedding, check out this travel agent.
http://roadslesstaken.com/
The CEO is Beau and he has done some great trips for us.

AOII_LB93 · #2 02-26-2007, 08:53 AM

1. Yes
2. Ireland
3. No, about 21 people including us were there...so basically all the people we wanted to be there were there. There were disappointed family members, but hopefully they've gotten over it. His family alone would have been about 80 guests...so it would have been way ridiculous.

Ultimately, you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. Family might be upset, but it's about you and your future husband doing what makes you feel good. Yeah, you should consider your family, but unless they plan on footing the bill(and even that can be a pain in the butt) do what makes you two happy. I would do it all over again the same...I loved every minute of it.

xo_kathy · #3 02-26-2007, 11:24 AM

Didn't have one but know quite a few people who have. They all say they are so glad they did and do not regret it at all.

If you want to keep it small, I'd head for Italy or France or something. If you do the Caribbean, lots more people will find it "easy" to get there.

OtterXO · #4 02-26-2007, 12:43 PM

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

AlphaFrog · #5 02-26-2007, 12:50 PM

The destination wedding/casual reception can seem like "We didn't want (to pay for) you at the wedding, but come bring us presents anyway". You have to be careful how you word/present everything.

OtterXO · #6 02-26-2007, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

The destination wedding/casual reception can seem like "We didn't want (to pay for) you at the wedding, but come bring us presents anyway". You have to be careful how you word/present everything.

Yeah, that would be my concern. Good thing I'm not getting married any time soon! haha

DolphinChicaDDD · #7 02-26-2007, 12:59 PM

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

OtterXO · #8 02-26-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

I think that's a really good point too. I'm in a wedding this year where we all have to buy out bridesmaid dress and shoes (obviously). Plus we all have to pay to fly to the destination (not far but it's still about $250/plane ticket) plus stay in a hotel for 3 nights. All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party! I just can't afford to do all that! Plus we have to buy gifts for the bridal shower and wedding. We calculated that without the bachelorette party it'll probably total about $1500/person in the bridal party for everything. That's a little out of control!

I must be missing the bride gene, I have no desire to do ANY of this if i get married.

AKA_Monet · #9 02-27-2007, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

Well we eloped, then had religious ceremony...

So for the religious thing, we never asked for presents, but folks brought us stuff they thought we'd like.

Then, my mom is psychotic, and we visited her ~4 months after the religious ceremony... She called herself having a "welcome home party" and said no presents on the invite... Folks still brought presents... They asked us what we wanted. Since I had no FHA Bridal Registry, I just told them Home Depot or Lowe's or Costco gift cards... I'd even do Walmart and Target cards...

That's how we got those ceiling fans in our house.

Ironically, my best friend and maid of honor was unable to attend my mom's party due to family issues. But she called me to ask what time was the reception--and I said like an idiot, "it's not a reception". She said, "yeah right"...

I think you have a nicely dressed event (if you do it that way) at one of the local gaming casinoes, buffet style and a room. No matter what you all do, folks will bring some kind of gift. Tell them you can't carry things and you'll get gift cards...

But you should register for those assholes that have to follow ettiquite... If you do, do what you both like... Or do donations to your favorite charity. A lot of older couples or 2nd+ marriages are doing that.

amycat412 · #10 02-27-2007, 03:52 AM

For what its worth:

None of my friends who have had destination weddings regret it.

Most of my friends who shelled out house downpayments to pay for traditional wedding and reception, no matter how wonderful it was, wish they'd taken the money and eloped/destinationed it.

It is YOUR wedding. You guys do what you want to do.

aephi alum · #11 03-18-2007, 02:13 PM

I didn't do a destination wedding, but part of me wishes I had. There are a couple of advantages. Your honeymoon starts immediately because you're already at your honeymoon destination, and (hopefully) you won't have to put up with too many obnoxious relatives and friends of your MIL that she insists *must* be invited even though you've never even met them, because they won't make the trip.

(Can you tell I don't like my MIL?

)

BobbyTheDon · #12 03-20-2007, 12:05 AM

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

PeppyGPhiB · #13 03-22-2007, 01:58 AM

I actually find destination weddings to be selfish, unless it's just immediate family invited. Most of the people I've known who've had them seemed to think it would just be fun to, say, get married on a beach in Hawaii, yet expected all their friends and family members to use their vacation time to fly there for the wedding. They didn't think at all about their guests and how sad they would be that they wouldn't be able to share in the special occasion. But mostly what I don't like about them is that they're a passive-agressive way of UN-inviting people to your wedding. You would like to have all those people at your wedding, but you don't want to pay for it, so you invite them all to your wedding in Hawaii knowing that most of them won't be able to make it. All so you can say that Yes, you invited Brother's Friend Sally, but she didn't couldn't make it.

My advice for people considering a destination wedding:

1. Invite a small number of people so you don't have a bunch of friends feeling obligated to go or sad that they can't go.
2. If you're doing it just because your guest list for a home town wedding would be too big, just CUT YOUR GUEST LIST. Get some balls. No, you really don't have to invite ALL of your cousins, even if you're Irish or Italian Catholic. Chances are a lot of those family members wouldn't be able to make it overseas for a wedding anyway, so what's the point of leaving town? Take a look at the guest list and set some guidelines for deciding whom from each side you will invite. My opinion: if you won't recognize/know them in the receiving line, they don't have to be there. Just have a small wedding! You can do it! Really!
3. Elope.

Jill1228 · #14 03-22-2007, 04:06 PM

Then again, having a big wedding can be selfish...

Why we did the destination wedding:
I had NO desire to go back to Virginia to have a church wedding. We are not religious and I stated before if my mom (or his mom) had their ways we would have the mass church wedding--not gonna happen

I suggested doing Peace Arch Park on the US Canadian border (near his family). He didn't want an outside wedding.

We looked at each other and said "Vegas baby!"
We didn't have to worry about keeping folx entertained.

We almost eloped. We got our license there during a trip in Jan 2001. We were both thinking "let's do it" but we didn't relay to each other what we were thinking.
When we told his mom we were gonna do Vegas, she got huffy and said "Well I am not going". We had 2 words for her:

"don't go!"
She did wind up going. My mother was all about losing her "Vegas Virginity"!

One person who should have been there wasn't...that is a whole 'nother talk show!

Everyone who was there had a blast. It was my aunt's last vacation before she passed away in the summer of 2002 from cancer

I brought a little joy into her life

So if some of us are selfish, so be it! I have no regrets!

AOII_LB93 · #15 02-26-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

Didn't have one but know quite a few people who have. They all say they are so glad they did and do not regret it at all.

If you want to keep it small, I'd head for Italy or France or something. If you do the Caribbean, lots more people will find it "easy" to get there.

France is too prohibitive for destination weddings, as are French territories and islands. I looked into it as my first option(since I'm a French teacher), and there is a 40 day residency requirement. As romantic as France may sound, it's a pain in the butt to do. You'd be better off going elsewhere in Europe first.
Italy is much easier...looked in to that as well. =)