HBADPi's How do I handle this situation?

[adpi*violet]

HB-
I would continue doing what you are doing (being cordial) and if you're feeling really brave, invite her, her BF and your BF over for a fancy home-cooked dinner. Perhaps making the extra effort to be nice will break through to her somehow? If you're not feeling really brave- no worries. You don't need to make the extra effort, just do continue to be nice to her, even if it is not reciprocated. Just try to let her rudeness wash over you and not let it get to you.
HTH.

[adpiucf]

Easy fix. You don't like her, she doesn't like you. Don't hang out with her. Why should you be a martyr?

Your BF can spend time with his friends without you. I promise it isn't the end of the world if you occasionally spend time with your own friends, and that it's ok to tell him that you're not going to waste your free time in the presence of this girl.

[HBADPi]

I think "alone time with your friends" is a seperate issue and we do make a point to do that on a weekly basis. I don't really feel that has any bearing on this since the only times I have to deal with her is at birthday parties, special events, etc.

[adpiucf]

Then don't go to events where she will be, or call her out in public or ignore it.

[EXiADPi]

I'm putting this nicely but this is what my friend's psycho fiance has had to do "suck it up and deal." To her I am the threat because I get along with her fiance very well which is also because we have been friends for over 3 years. She threw a fit when I went on a Vegas vacation with a group of friends. For some reason she sees me as a threat and Darin has told her that she will have to deal with it because I'm one of his good friends and I'm not going anywhere (I'm also dating one of our friends). We have "family vacations" and parties all the time so she has to see me because I'm invited and they plan things around my schedule. She will be totally suprised when I am not at the wedding on Saturday but only because I am on a 4 day trip (my bf will not be happy because he has go to the wedding alone). She has had to learn how to play nicely with me because everyone loves me and I have more staying power than she does. At every event we go to she either ignores me or we are civil. She has been nicer to me, I don't know if that is because she has realized that she was being petty or she has gotten over it or Darin has threatened her. I don't mean to sound mean but just be the better person, say hi, talk her up, shower her with attention. She won't know what to do. This will make you look even better in everyone's eyes when she is rude to you.

[HBADPi]

Thanks everyone. ExiADPi sounds like you pretty are in the same situation as me. Lately I've been just ignoring her but I just wasnt sure if the shower with attention would be too obvious.

[FirstAndFinest]

Remember that the way people treat you has less to do with you and more to do with what is going on in their own head! Sounds like she's a sad, angry person. If you feel compelled to discuss her behvaviour with her (which sounds like a losing proposition to me, personally....), then I recommend doing so privately as a public discussion will likely get ugly - esp. if she must be the center of attention. Make your discussion specific: a specific thing she did or said - and most importantly, make it about YOU & how you FEEL about what she said/did. "Hey Psycho, I really felt hurt when you turned your back on me when I said hello earlier tonight." Telling her how you feel about her actions is an easier stance for you to take and less defensible for her.

As for how to handle things with the BF, I guess be honest with him about how you feel about being around Psycho. I would try not to let her get the better of you by making you stay away from your bf & his friends! If you keep coming around, and keep being civil/cordial, either she'll change her tactics - or find a new victim!