HBADPi's How do I handle this situation?
 

I'm following ADPiShannan's lead and looking to my sisters for some advice. :)

My bf and I have been dating for over 6 months now and he has 2 best friends he has known since he was 8. His friends Nick and Ed both have girlfriends: Stacy and Sara respectively (names have been changed to protect the innocent :) ). Both couples have been dating for over 3 years now and both girlfriends were very nice to me in the beginning of my relationship with my bf. Since then Sara and I get along really and the 2 of us have hung out a few times. Stacy started off really nice but 3 months after I met her, she did an entire 180. She would be blantantly rude to me, leave me out of conversations, ignore me completely, and just generally pretend that I was not there. I racked my brain at first trying to figure out when and how I wronged her but after awhile I realized it wasnt me. Other people such as Ed, Sara, and my own bf have noticed her general rudeness. I've been told that she's had a history of wanting to be the center of attention and right now I'm almost considered a threat!

This has all gotten to the point that I hate hanging out with her and Nick because I know it will not be fun for me. At the same time however I never want my bf to have to choose between his friends and me. Whenever I see her now, I'm generally cordial to her (using my sorority recruitment skills ;) but her behavior sometimes is enough to make my blood boil when I think about it. More than one person has told me that confronting her would do no good and thats just how Stacy is so just try to ignore...easier said than done! Anyway, I'm really at a lost what to do in this situation and really want to remedy it in some way just for my own state of mind if nothing else! I know you cant win everyone over and I'm fine if her and I are not BFF but it just frustrates me how much she makes people so uncomfortable with her antics.

HB-
I would continue doing what you are doing (being cordial) and if you're feeling really brave, invite her, her BF and your BF over for a fancy home-cooked dinner. Perhaps making the extra effort to be nice will break through to her somehow? If you're not feeling really brave- no worries. You don't need to make the extra effort, just do continue to be nice to her, even if it is not reciprocated. Just try to let her rudeness wash over you and not let it get to you.
HTH.

Easy fix. You don't like her, she doesn't like you. Don't hang out with her. Why should you be a martyr?

Your BF can spend time with his friends without you. I promise it isn't the end of the world if you occasionally spend time with your own friends, and that it's ok to tell him that you're not going to waste your free time in the presence of this girl.

I think "alone time with your friends" is a seperate issue and we do make a point to do that on a weekly basis. I don't really feel that has any bearing on this since the only times I have to deal with her is at birthday parties, special events, etc.

Then don't go to events where she will be, or call her out in public or ignore it.

I'm putting this nicely but this is what my friend's psycho fiance has had to do "suck it up and deal." To her I am the threat because I get along with her fiance very well which is also because we have been friends for over 3 years. She threw a fit when I went on a Vegas vacation with a group of friends. For some reason she sees me as a threat and Darin has told her that she will have to deal with it because I'm one of his good friends and I'm not going anywhere (I'm also dating one of our friends). We have "family vacations" and parties all the time so she has to see me because I'm invited and they plan things around my schedule. She will be totally suprised when I am not at the wedding on Saturday but only because I am on a 4 day trip (my bf will not be happy because he has go to the wedding alone). She has had to learn how to play nicely with me because everyone loves me and I have more staying power than she does. At every event we go to she either ignores me or we are civil. She has been nicer to me, I don't know if that is because she has realized that she was being petty or she has gotten over it or Darin has threatened her. I don't mean to sound mean but just be the better person, say hi, talk her up, shower her with attention. She won't know what to do. This will make you look even better in everyone's eyes when she is rude to you.

Thanks everyone. ExiADPi sounds like you pretty are in the same situation as me. Lately I've been just ignoring her but I just wasnt sure if the shower with attention would be too obvious.

Remember that the way people treat you has less to do with you and more to do with what is going on in their own head! Sounds like she's a sad, angry person. If you feel compelled to discuss her behvaviour with her (which sounds like a losing proposition to me, personally....), then I recommend doing so privately as a public discussion will likely get ugly - esp. if she must be the center of attention. Make your discussion specific: a specific thing she did or said - and most importantly, make it about YOU & how you FEEL about what she said/did. "Hey Psycho, I really felt hurt when you turned your back on me when I said hello earlier tonight." Telling her how you feel about her actions is an easier stance for you to take and less defensible for her.

As for how to handle things with the BF, I guess be honest with him about how you feel about being around Psycho. I would try not to let her get the better of you by making you stay away from your bf & his friends! If you keep coming around, and keep being civil/cordial, either she'll change her tactics - or find a new victim!

ARGH!!! I am ready to strangle this girl!!

Sorry sisters but I just need to vent for a minute. So my bf and I got invited to a potluck Italian dinner party on Friday night hosted by another couple and I am hosting a housewarming party on Saturday. Crazy Stacy and her bf as well as Sara and her bf were invited to the Friday dinner too. we felt comfortable bringing, so my bf and I were planning on bringing some red wine. I just got a call from Sara asking me what I was planning on bring so then she tells me “well I just got off the phone with Stacy and she said that she was bringing salad and I should bring desserts and to tell you to bring garlic bread.” Uhhh last time I checked YOU WERENT THE ONE HOSTING THE DINNER STACY, so seriously where do you get off barking orders and telling people what to bring?!?! Then Sara tells me that Stacy thought she and her bf were the only ones invited to dinner on Friday because she was under the impression that my housewarming was on Friday as well so clearly me and my bf wouldn’t be there. What ticks me off about that is I sent out invites to my housewarming 2.5 wks ago and she RSVP’d saying her and her bf would attend! The couple hosting dinner on Friday invited us all on Tuesday! So what you’re telling me is you chose to go to a dinner party that you got invited to after you got my invitation and RSVP’d to it!!! I could care less if she was coming but talk about a big F U to me for her to say/do that. I half wish I was having my party on Friday so I would have to see her stupid face. To make matters worse, I just found out that her bf asked my bf if it would be ok for the 2 of them to stay on Saturday night!! I don’t want to see her anymore than I have to, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise and I’ll have the opportunity to smother her with a pillow!