Lame?

[Drolefille]

Sometimes yelling is the only way to get one's point across. Feel free to continue and get upset over what I'm not saying valkyrie

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

Wine&SilverBlue said it perfectly, you should be looking at the reasons.

Valkyrie will continue to ignore the fact that I'm only trying to make one simple statement.

/Several times actually.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

The thing is, no one said that. We NEVER said "[OP], you are judging us". What we DID say was that it is possible for someone to be judgmental if they encounter a person who doesn't agree with their beliefs and this is why WE would probably pass on a guy with those values. People have said over and over that the OP asked a question and we responded as to what WE would think about a guy like one in the hypothetical presented, but you don't seem to be getting that part of it.

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Sometimes yelling is the only way to get one's point across. Feel free to continue and get upset over what I'm not saying valkyrie

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

Wine&SilverBlue said it perfectly, you should be looking at the reasons.

Valkyrie will continue to ignore the fact that I'm only trying to make one simple statement.

/Several times actually.

Please let me know which of the many statements you've made in this thread you're referring to here. I would be happy to disregard all of your other statements in this thread.

[Drolefille]

Valk, would you be willing to shake hands and walk away from this? This is just stupid fighting about nothing

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Valk, would you be willing to shake hands and walk away from this? This is just stupid fighting about nothing

Aiight, but I might feel compelled to pitch at you every time we encounter each other from now until the end of time. Just kidding!

[/obscure baseball joke]

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

These two sentences are beautiful when juxtaposed, and form the essence of what I'm trying to convey here - these two things, together, can be flipped the other direction too, and may help you to understand why we're having the shit show in this thread.

[Drolefille]

I agree completely, and that's why I said that BOTH sides felt preached to.

Apparently that's flame-worthy.

Also see my above post. I don't really want to fight over something so silly.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

WOW! So much has been said today in my absence...honestly, I didn't want things to end up this way.

BUT personally, I have to agree with the majority of what Drolefille has been saying. At times some people did come off as really defensive when all I did was simply ask questions and in my opinion by saying you wouldn't want to be involved with someone who participates in the activities that I listed, is kinda imply that you felt these are things that you feel people should do at that age.

To have these as long term standards for a long term relationship...would you consider not dating someone because they don't drink and are waiting to have sex superficial? If not, why?

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

in my opinion by saying you wouldn't want to be involved with someone who participates in the activities that I listed, is kinda imply that you felt these are things that you feel people should do at that age.

So when u asked your question, you already had an opinion formed about the answers that u were going to receive? I mean you were either going to get a 'yes, I'd want to date you." or a "no, I wouldn't want to date you.", but you already knew how u felt about the inevitable answers. What was your true intent?

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

Two things: First, I'm not sure how old you are but that may be part of why you and I have differing views on these issues. I believe you might have mentioned that you are 21. At 21 I probably would have wanted a guy with your level of experience b/c I had only experienced dating one guy long term. But I have almost 6 years on you now, so asking if I'd want to date the same guy I would have dated at 21...absolutely not. So in that sense, you aren't necessarily a minority, you just may have received replies from women older than you.

Second, I think you did anticipate our responses because you seemed to have heard some of them before...which is why you asked the question, right?

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say.

You could only get 1 of 2 responses. Honestly, I think your original question could have been answered with a yes or a no (I'll go back and check), sooo...what was new information to you?


ETA: I was correct. "Ladies: Would you honestly consider a young man who doesn't drink, is drug-free and a virgin lame?"

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

Well . . . let's start with the end, so to speak - you're probably less of a 'minority' than you'd think by reading this thread, for myriad reasons but mostly because the population who will answer you self-selects a large number of people who, in fact, have sex. I'd bet you can come up with two of these reasons right off the top of your head, but I have about 5 right now.

Basically, a large part of the group you're asking, by necessity, is the "wrong crowd" to fill in this gap for you (although obviously they can still answer the question).

Second, I think you're taking this a little too harshly - the one simple rule for relationships (for most sane people) is that the rules are few and flexible. By this, I mean that I would generally prefer to date someone with attribute __________, but in the right situation I'll gladly break that rule (or, more likely, for the right person).

You pride yourself on being unique, so maybe you should look forward to being able to create unique situations where you can break out of these preferences - and the way to do this really isn't through explaining your actions in increasingly direct fashion to anonymous people who are speaking in broad generalities, but instead through understanding these generalities and using them as a guide for your actions.

-RC
--Hence Drollefille is kind of wrong, sorry ace!

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

To have these as long term standards for a long term relationship...would you consider not dating someone because they don't drink and are waiting to have sex superficial? If not, why?

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by Marie

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

Excellent point. I can't really debate that other than by saying a lot of the things that you listed are physical features that can rarely be done anything about. This differs because I'm talking about positive choices a person has decided to make. That's like someone saying..."I'm going to stop cursing" and another person being turned off because they curse and believe that they are now incompatible. That doesn't make since to me. We are all different and there for do different things. For example, I may not drink, but I would date a girl that drinks socially because I respect the fact that we are different however, I would tell her occasionally out of compassion that I don't like it because the overall negative affects it can have on her and its just a really unattractive look for her when she does it. Sure I would be happy if she found the rational to stop but if she didn't the only thing that I would do is pray that it doesn't affect her too bad in the future.