Lame?

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'm not just talking about in this thread, though it does apply here too. Sounds like you're preaching that a 21 year old male should be having sex and drinking... or there's something wrong with him.

Nobody used this exact tone - some noted, in effect, that if a 21 yr old male does not do those things, he's not right for THEM . . . but, again, I'm sure you're more than accepting of people sharing their views, right? Since you're noting that's what the OP is doing, and all . . .

Originally Posted by Drolefille

That's as stupid as me saying that a 21 year old male who's having sex and drinking has something wrong with him.

Agreed - and no one has done either, luckily.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Non-drinkers get preached to frequently... and I've never been one to preach to my friends about it.

This is similar to what I was noting before - both about your posts, and OP's. I'm not claiming anyone is 'personalizing' anything - I don't really even know what that means, and I'm a pretty smart guy - but instead, I'll note that posters are 'defending' their views (not that you're being defensive, just that you're creating a defensible position), when no one (except the OP) is asking or forcing them to. (Also - kudos to the OP for being about as level about these inquiries as possible.)

Non-drinkers may or may not get preached to . . . you may or may not get preached to . . . you may or may not do the preaching. I'm not quite sure what it all means, but I'm pretty sure that arguing in tautologies isn't really productive here, since it seems to be leading to a communication gap whereby you think you're not being confrontational, but you're confronting views and opinions that aren't really being expressed or imposed.

[Drolefille]

Sometimes yelling is the only way to get one's point across. Feel free to continue and get upset over what I'm not saying valkyrie

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

Wine&SilverBlue said it perfectly, you should be looking at the reasons.

Valkyrie will continue to ignore the fact that I'm only trying to make one simple statement.

/Several times actually.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

The thing is, no one said that. We NEVER said "[OP], you are judging us". What we DID say was that it is possible for someone to be judgmental if they encounter a person who doesn't agree with their beliefs and this is why WE would probably pass on a guy with those values. People have said over and over that the OP asked a question and we responded as to what WE would think about a guy like one in the hypothetical presented, but you don't seem to be getting that part of it.

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Sometimes yelling is the only way to get one's point across. Feel free to continue and get upset over what I'm not saying valkyrie

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

Wine&SilverBlue said it perfectly, you should be looking at the reasons.

Valkyrie will continue to ignore the fact that I'm only trying to make one simple statement.

/Several times actually.

Please let me know which of the many statements you've made in this thread you're referring to here. I would be happy to disregard all of your other statements in this thread.

[Drolefille]

Valk, would you be willing to shake hands and walk away from this? This is just stupid fighting about nothing

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Valk, would you be willing to shake hands and walk away from this? This is just stupid fighting about nothing

Aiight, but I might feel compelled to pitch at you every time we encounter each other from now until the end of time. Just kidding!

[/obscure baseball joke]

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I get what you're saying KSig RC, and though no one said exactly that, it was sort of implied. My only real peeve is when people assume that by not drinking or whatever you're judging them and thus whatever you say to them is preaching.

These two sentences are beautiful when juxtaposed, and form the essence of what I'm trying to convey here - these two things, together, can be flipped the other direction too, and may help you to understand why we're having the shit show in this thread.

[Drolefille]

I agree completely, and that's why I said that BOTH sides felt preached to.

Apparently that's flame-worthy.

Also see my above post. I don't really want to fight over something so silly.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

WOW! So much has been said today in my absence...honestly, I didn't want things to end up this way.

BUT personally, I have to agree with the majority of what Drolefille has been saying. At times some people did come off as really defensive when all I did was simply ask questions and in my opinion by saying you wouldn't want to be involved with someone who participates in the activities that I listed, is kinda imply that you felt these are things that you feel people should do at that age.

To have these as long term standards for a long term relationship...would you consider not dating someone because they don't drink and are waiting to have sex superficial? If not, why?

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

in my opinion by saying you wouldn't want to be involved with someone who participates in the activities that I listed, is kinda imply that you felt these are things that you feel people should do at that age.

So when u asked your question, you already had an opinion formed about the answers that u were going to receive? I mean you were either going to get a 'yes, I'd want to date you." or a "no, I wouldn't want to date you.", but you already knew how u felt about the inevitable answers. What was your true intent?

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

To have these as long term standards for a long term relationship...would you consider not dating someone because they don't drink and are waiting to have sex superficial? If not, why?

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by Marie

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

Excellent point. I can't really debate that other than by saying a lot of the things that you listed are physical features that can rarely be done anything about. This differs because I'm talking about positive choices a person has decided to make. That's like someone saying..."I'm going to stop cursing" and another person being turned off because they curse and believe that they are now incompatible. That doesn't make since to me. We are all different and there for do different things. For example, I may not drink, but I would date a girl that drinks socially because I respect the fact that we are different however, I would tell her occasionally out of compassion that I don't like it because the overall negative affects it can have on her and its just a really unattractive look for her when she does it. Sure I would be happy if she found the rational to stop but if she didn't the only thing that I would do is pray that it doesn't affect her too bad in the future.

[Marie]

Drolefille,

Please let it go. Pretty please. I do understand your point. However, when you keep emphasizing or arguing it, then it negates your 'I'm not defensive' or 'I'm not taking it personally' stance.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

I'm not trying to be rude when I say this but, If it bothers you that much then simply don't post in this thread anymore.