Lame?

KSig RC · #1 07-18-2006, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

The funny thing is that a lot of people are claiming that sober virgins are preachy and judgemental. Take a step back and look at what you're doing. He has not presented himself as judgemental, though you jumped on one phrase in ONE reply. Yet you are judging him and people like him!

Hello!
Logic train.. it went that way.. hop on board.

Assuming that any 21 year old who's a virgin is gay, repressed, hyper-religious, or going to hump anything that moves after the first time is STUPID.

Just as you would hope a guy you meet wouldn't look at your sexual past and go "UGH" you really shouldn't do the same to him.

Seeing yourself in a long term relationship is exactly when sex should occur. Sex is basically the most vulnerable moment in your life. The time when a laugh can crush you, and when you are emotionally and physically naked in front of your partner. There's no way in HELL I'm doing that with someone I don't trust completely.

And if I broke up with my current long term boyfriend, I would have to get to know someone very well before I'd take that chance.

/Your results may vary
//Psychology of Sex is a FUN class

LOL.

-RC
--Trust me, you don't want to get academic with me, sister!

Drolefille · #2 07-18-2006, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

LOL.

-RC
--Trust me, you don't want to get academic with me, sister!

Don't laugh at me... you'll be a thread ruin-er too!

ZOMG RUN FOR THE HILLS!

AlphaFrog · #3 07-18-2006, 10:52 AM

Does that mean I can laugh at you, because I'm already a thread ruin-er?

Hahahaha.

KSig RC · #4 07-18-2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Don't laugh at me... you'll be a thread ruin-er too!

ZOMG RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Note that I was also laughing because your post read like a justification for your own decisions . . . just saying.

Seriously, I took the OP's posts as consistently 'defending' his own status, even when he wasn't 'under fire' - from that regard, I can see where people may get to the word 'preachy,' know what I mean? Past that, I think Marie is right - some will be OK with it, many will not. The OP said it himself: sex is important to some people, and it's universally considered a key factor in relationship viability (again, from an academic standpoint) - for that reason, I think you're going to have to actively seek out those you're looking for.

That's good, though - it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase.

AlphaFrog · #5 07-18-2006, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Note that I was also laughing because your post read like a justification for your own decisions . . . just saying.

Seriously, I took the OP's posts as consistently 'defending' his own status, even when he wasn't 'under fire' - from that regard, I can see where people may get to the word 'preachy,' know what I mean?

I think the problem is that this is such a personal issue, and when people put in their 2 cents either direction, it can come off as preachy, or easily rub someone the wrong way. People on one side automatically assume that those who are "clean cut" are preaching to them to be "clean cut" also, and that can lead them to defend themselves to the point that the person who is "clean cut" feels they are being preached to about why their choices are wrong.

Drolefille · #6 07-18-2006, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Note that I was also laughing because your post read like a justification for your own decisions . . . just saying.

Seriously, I took the OP's posts as consistently 'defending' his own status, even when he wasn't 'under fire' - from that regard, I can see where people may get to the word 'preachy,' know what I mean? Past that, I think Marie is right - some will be OK with it, many will not. The OP said it himself: sex is important to some people, and it's universally considered a key factor in relationship viability (again, from an academic standpoint) - for that reason, I think you're going to have to actively seek out those you're looking for.

That's good, though - it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase.

I understand that. I don't drink and feel no need to defend that. I think drugs are dumb and feel no need to defend that.

I'm going to come right out on the sex thing.

I was a "wait til marriage" girl and it turned into a "wait for the right person" thing. Well I found him. And Idon't think there's anything wrong with that either.

I think both sides assume that the other is preaching.. what Alphafrog said...

OtterXO · #7 07-18-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I think both sides assume that the other is preaching.. ...

I don't think any of us were preaching to the OP. He asked a question and we answered, then he asked us more questions and we answered those. The "preaching" part came up as a reason some of us would be apprehensive to get involved with a person with the qualities he mentioned.

Drolefille · #8 07-18-2006, 12:00 PM

I'm not just talking about in this thread, though it does apply here too. Sounds like you're preaching that a 21 year old male should be having sex and drinking... or there's something wrong with him.

That's as stupid as me saying that a 21 year old male who's having sex and drinking has something wrong with him.

Non-drinkers get preached to frequently... and I've never been one to preach to my friends about it.

OtterXO · #9 07-18-2006, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'm not just talking about in this thread, though it does apply here too. Sounds like you're preaching that a 21 year old male should be having sex and drinking... or there's something wrong with him.

That's as stupid as me saying that a 21 year old male who's having sex and drinking has something wrong with him.

Non-drinkers get preached to frequently... and I've never been one to preach to my friends about it.

No, that's not what we were doing. He asked whether women would think he was lame and we gave an answer. I don't think anyone should have to say they would like something in a man just to make him feel better when he asked why we would/wouldn't date a guy with his characteristics. All of it relates to personal choices and none of it was preaching to him.

KSig RC · #10 07-18-2006, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'm not just talking about in this thread, though it does apply here too. Sounds like you're preaching that a 21 year old male should be having sex and drinking... or there's something wrong with him.

Nobody used this exact tone - some noted, in effect, that if a 21 yr old male does not do those things, he's not right for THEM . . . but, again, I'm sure you're more than accepting of people sharing their views, right? Since you're noting that's what the OP is doing, and all . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

That's as stupid as me saying that a 21 year old male who's having sex and drinking has something wrong with him.

Agreed - and no one has done either, luckily.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Non-drinkers get preached to frequently... and I've never been one to preach to my friends about it.

This is similar to what I was noting before - both about your posts, and OP's. I'm not claiming anyone is 'personalizing' anything - I don't really even know what that means, and I'm a pretty smart guy - but instead, I'll note that posters are 'defending' their views (not that you're being defensive, just that you're creating a defensible position), when no one (except the OP) is asking or forcing them to. (Also - kudos to the OP for being about as level about these inquiries as possible.)

Non-drinkers may or may not get preached to . . . you may or may not get preached to . . . you may or may not do the preaching. I'm not quite sure what it all means, but I'm pretty sure that arguing in tautologies isn't really productive here, since it seems to be leading to a communication gap whereby you think you're not being confrontational, but you're confronting views and opinions that aren't really being expressed or imposed.