Lame?

AKΨ_BRO@DSU · #1 07-17-2006, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

You might not have intended it, but this quote reveals a bit of why I personally would never date a guy who didn't drink. There seems to be a little high-and-mighty about the way you say "the fact they don't need anything extra to do so would say a lot." What, exactly, would it say? It seems you're implying that people who drink "need" to do so to have a good time. That in itself comes off as preachy to me.

As for the virgin thing, again, not my cup of tea, but I'm sure some women would appreciate it.

Actually that was in respose to this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by afboiler

I like people can drink responsibly in a social situation and have a good time....I find guys like him do not mix with my social responsibilities of my job

I don't think it makes me high and mighty because I don't drink but I find the purpose of doing so meaningless other than to have a good time. And all I'm saying is that I'm not dependant on alcohol to do so. If it is possible for a person who drinks to have a good time without doing so, then why drink?

kddani · #2 07-17-2006, 08:11 PM

You asked for people's personal opinions, and they're giving them to you, so what's the sense in arguing? If you don't want to hear the opinions, then don't ask

For me, the drug thing- well, that's a plus, as I think it would be for the majority of women.

The drinking- no so much a plus. I myself am not a big drinker, I have a few when I go out but I can't even remember the last time I was "drunk". However, nondrinkers (as a whole, because each person can of course be different) kind of bother me usually because they can tend to lecture, make fun of, or just be somewhat of an inconvenience. I don't want to be made to feel bad because i'm getting a drink with dinner. One of my best friends doesn't drink, but it's not an issue there. But then I went out on a few dates with a guy who was a nondrinker, and he was a pain in the ass.

The virgin- sorry, not for me and not for a lot of women this day and age. If it works for you, great, but it's a turn off to many women. I'm not going to judge your values, but can only say that it would be a turn off to me personally.

It's funny, because the guy who was also a nondrinker ended up also being a virgin (declared waiting for marriage- he was 26 when we went out), and was really preachy.

AKΨ_BRO@DSU · #3 07-17-2006, 08:18 PM

My intent isn't to argue but just to see where people with an alternative perspective are coming from. Plus, I was accused of sounding high and might and was simply explaining that I wasn't. Question to you: Why is the virgin thing a turn off?

kddani · #4 07-17-2006, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

My intent isn't to argue but just to see where people with an alternative perspective are coming from. Plus, I was accused of sounding high and might and was simply explaining that I wasn't. Question to you: Why is the virgin thing a turn off?

I try not to discuss my sex life on GC, but I will try to answer your question, but i'm guessing it's not an answer you haven't heard before. I'm not interested in someone who is inexperienced. I am not interested in someone who would likely judge me because I did not make the same choice they did. I believe that sexually compatibility is important in a relationship and ultimately with the man that I marry.

OtterXO · #5 07-17-2006, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

My intent isn't to argue but just to see where people with an alternative perspective are coming from. Plus, I was accused of sounding high and might and was simply explaining that I wasn't. Question to you: Why is the virgin thing a turn off?

It's not the "virgin" thing that's a turn off to me, it's all the stuff that typically comes with it....like the guy being super religious. Plus, guys who are virgins would probably tend to judge a girl like me who didn't wait for marriage.

AKΨ_BRO@DSU · #6 07-17-2006, 08:36 PM

To both responses:

Well don't you think that that's an unfair assumption about the person? I mean realistically the guy probably isn't expecting you to be a virgin, just at least not a ho. If you were in to the guy too (him as a person), then why couldn't you respect the fact that he chooses to wait, just like he respects the fact that you didn't decide to? And its another unfair assumption to assume the guy is "super religious" (whatever that means) just because he's a virgin. He could just be waiting for the right person and hasn't found her yet.

Would it be wrong for me to assume based off of your responses that sex is a major concern that you associate with the guys you go out with?

OtterXO · #7 07-17-2006, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

To both responses:

Well don't you think that that's an unfair assumption about the person? I mean realistically the guy probably isn't expecting you to be a virgin, just at least not a ho. If you were in to the guy too (him as a person), then why couldn't you respect the fact that he chooses to wait, just like he respects the fact that you didn't decide to? And its another unfair assumption to assume the guy is "super religious" (whatever that means) just because he's a virgin. He could just be waiting for the right person and hasn't found her yet.

Would it be wrong for me to assume based off of your responses that sex is a major concern that you associate with the guys you go out with?

What is a ho to you (just out of curiousity)? I think that *typically* most people who have chosen to wait are more judgmental about that type of stuff. I'm not saying you are, but you asked a hypothetical question and we're giving our answers.

As for the religiousness part, *typically* (again) people who choose to wait do so for religious reasons....which wouldn't really mesh well with me because I don't consider myself to be very religious.

I think it's a fair assumption that sexual compatibility is important to me...that's not the only thing I worry about but if I'm going to be with someone forever I want to enjoy the physical aspect of the relationship

AKΨ_BRO@DSU · #8 07-17-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

What is a ho to you (just out of curiousity)? I think that *typically* most people who have chosen to wait are more judgmental about that type of stuff. I'm not saying you are, but you asked a hypothetical question and we're giving our answers.

As for the religiousness part, *typically* (again) people who choose to wait do so for religious reasons....which wouldn't really mesh well with me because I don't consider myself to be very religious.

I think it's a fair assumption that sexual compatibility is important to me...that's not the only thing I worry about but if I'm going to be with someone forever I want to enjoy the physical aspect of the relationship

The last part is understandable, but I wanted to know if its so important that it can't be over looked for you. A ho (in my opinion) is a male or female who randomly hooks up with people with no strings attached on a frequent basis. Have you ever given more than one abstainant person a chance to date you to form that opinion?

valkyrie · #9 07-17-2006, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Well don't you think that that's an unfair assumption about the person? I mean realistically the guy probably isn't expecting you to be a virgin, just at least not a ho. If you were in to the guy too (him as a person), then why couldn't you respect the fact that he chooses to wait, just like he respects the fact that you didn't decide to? And its another unfair assumption to assume the guy is "super religious" (whatever that means) just because he's a virgin. He could just be waiting for the right person and hasn't found her yet.

Questions for you:

What does "right person" mean? Is this the person you are going to marry, or something less?

What reason, outside of religious reasons, motivates you to wait for the right person?

AKΨ_BRO@DSU · #10 07-17-2006, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

Questions for you:

What does "right person" mean? Is this the person you are going to marry, or something less?

What reason, outside of religious reasons, motivates you to wait for the right person?

The right person is who I can see myself having a long term future with, which I suppose would be marriage. If I can't see myself marrying the person then why should I act like it? (Again, coming from my own personal values)

Outside of religious reasons....the world is a dangerous place and I feel that I need to be wise on whom I choose to have sex with. And I would feel more comfortable asking someone who I've been with for awhile to take an STD test than a short term hook up. Also as a young African-American male, I refuse to become another pregnacy and/or AIDS statistic...there are things that i want to do with my life and right now I feel that having a child would slow me down. Lastly, I like the values that I currently have in referance to choosing the right mate and wouldn't want my potential reaction to sex to negatively impact that. Sex is not the center of my standards in women and I don't want it to be. In general I seek to be different than the average person because I like to stand out...but at times it can be a lonely experience (which I expressed in my 2nd post).

Dionysus · #11 07-17-2006, 08:43 PM

Hmmmm...I'm not into inexperienced guys either. I guess that's bad, lol.

Lady Pi Phi · #12 07-18-2006, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

...If it is possible for a person who drinks to have a good time without doing so, then why drink?

Because some people actually like it. They aren't drinking because they need to. They are drinking because they like to. It's like having the second piece of cake. You don't need it, but you want it because it tastes good.