Boyfriend and Sororities

[grlgonegreek]

Hey everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I got accepted into a school and he was staying home so for the first time in our relationship, we weren’t going to be with each other every day. I love him so much and he’s the only guy I’ve ever been with that’s made me this happy, ever. Back when I got accepted to transfer to the school I’m at now, I was considering joining a sorority and told my boyfriend how I wanted to do it. He instantly became defensive and told me he wouldn’t be with me if I joined. He believes that sororities bring out the worst in girls. He thinks it’s fake, for girls who want attention, and for basically girls who want to sleep with a bunch of dudes. He had a perfect relationship before me and broke up with the girl just because she joined a sorority too. She ended up becoming a groupie and has been passed around by a bunch of dudes.

When I transferred, I rushed and didn’t tell him because I knew he wouldn’t approve of it or support me. He would most likely make me want to drop so to prevent that, I couldn’t tell him. He found out when he saw my location on pref night at the house I was in love with all week. He was mad, I tried to hold back tears waiting outside of the house I really wanted and I was nervous that my mind would be distracted when speaking to the girls. Luckily, I ran home to them and had such an amazing experience and the only person I wanted to tell about it was my boyfriend. He’s the person I wanted to support me, be there for me and be proud that I went through hell weak and made it out on top. He didn’t care. He was angry. He pushed me out. I cried for days trying to get him to talk to me again. He wouldn’t. I finally left him alone, and tried to be at peace with his decision. He came back to me and said he rather be with me than lose me to something so dumb.

Well now, he’s tolerant of me being a sorority but never wants me to talk about it. He shuts me out the second I mention any of my new friends or talk about my day. He’s not interested at all. I understand that he is at home, bored out of his mind, it it most likely makes him feel sad, so I try not to rub it in his face. He’s now at the point where if I bring up any socials or events, he’s instantly fighting me. It’s driving me insane.

He lacks trust in me as a girlfriend, he’s scared I’ll hurt him. I know he’ll never believe me when I tell him how much I love him and reassure him that no matter what, he’s all I want. He references to the time when I was really insecure about our relationship, and felt like he was going to leave me and cheat on me because he told me that he doesn’t like long distance and he won’t be a good boyfriend to me if I end up leaving. I texted a kid I worked with and flirted with him but it never went past the point of that. I just was sad and wanted positive attention and to feel beautiful because I wasn’t feeling that at the time. I’d never cheat on my boyfriend. I’ve never thought about it.

The girls in my sorority aren’t crazy either, they’re all older and have boyfriends. They aren’t known for being crazy partners or one night stand girls. I’m not saying they don’t go out and aren’t friendly with frats but they are more conservative than most sororities on campus. Most of the girls in my sorority have boyfriends and some have ones that are in Greek life and are extremely accepting. I wish I could prove to him that he’s seeing the stereotype of Greek life and not what it really means to me. It’s amazing. I’m so happy and have met so many beautiful women, inside and out. I couldn’t imagine how depressed I’d be if I didn’t go Greek.

It’s hard for us to just end it. Neither of us want that. But he’s stubborn and won’t be happy until I decide that I rather sit out on events and socials. And I’m stubborn because I don’t want to regret not doing all that I can before I graduate.


I’m so heartbroken because the fighting is making me miserable and I’m starting to lose focus of my school and sorority and friends but he’s also a priority to me so it’s just difficult to juggle all those things and make him happy. There’s nothing I want more than for my boy to be happy. I always have time for him and always come down to see him. I always call him and I’m constantly texting him. I’ll even text him the whole time I’m out drinking or when I’m around frat dudes. I make it known that I am in a relationship. I need guidance. I just don’t get it. Any advice?