Fraternity Big/Little Brother Concern

[RCM2020]

I am in charge of doing big brother and little brother matching in my fraternity. I take this pretty seriously, as I value mentorship and the relationship that a big and little can have on each other. We also have an application so big brother candidates can reflect and show why they would be a good big.

I'm stuck in a dilemma where one of the new members really wants an upperclassman as his big who is frankly a not-so-great role model. This upperclassman misses all deadlines, he never follows-through, really lazy and lacks pro-activeness (needs people to hold his hand a lot); he values party life, the quality of mixers, and winning Greek Week more than our values; etc. This upperclassmen was recruited because of parties and alcohol my freshman year, and he has not really risen to the full expectations of a brother. The thought of him being a big worries me because I just don't want him to corrupt a new member. Our chapter has tried so hard to recruit the best of the best, and this new member class is phenomenal. I don't want this chapter in any way to take any steps back to the way it used to be before I joined (Fall 2011), which was all about parities and social life. I'm aware I may be contradicting myself with the upperclassman member we still have, but holding standards and accountability is another topic...

For those who oversee big little matching, what happens when you see a match that is one to one (they both want each other), but you feel that it will be toxic for the chapter.