Having a hard time getting over one I got dropped from?

[ngsu]

Hi there, so I just went through sorority recruitment and thankfully got into a great sorority on campus. Recruitment was 2 weeks ago, and I'm still having a hard time getting over one of the ones I didn't get into. The one I got in to at the time was one of my bottom picks. I fell in love with some of the others on campus, one in particular. I totally fell in love with it. I felt so at home there, so comfortable, the atmosphere was incredible and the girls I talked to were outstanding and I just loved everything about the house and the entire group of girls and everything. I was dropped after sisterhood day by them and was devastated. There was another one that I loved, too, and got dropped by them after philanthropy day but it didn't bother me as much as this particular one. And in a way, I feel like I'm almost grieving the loss of it. I can't help but just go through pictures after pictures of girls I know who got bids from them or just girls in general in that sorority and just wishing I had that. I even had a dream the other night that my sorority let me switch over to theirs...it's hard. I love the girls I've met in my sorority so far, I do. But I'm just having a hard time getting over it.

I really am trying to appreciate what I have but I'm just having a really hard time with it right now. I keep thinking what if, and what I did wrong, and why I got dropped, and trying to adjust to this sorority when really I wasn't feeling it from the beginning and have some general dislike about it that won't ever change. For example, I really don't like our color and the entire house is painted that color, so I can never get away from that. I don't like our hand signs and I hate a particular word in our name and want to cringe every time I say the full name of the sorority I'm in. I know it just sounds shallow and I'm probably going to get some rude responses saying how I should be thankful I'm in one and all of that. I'm just having a really, really hard time adjusting to what I feel like I lost and having a hard time seeing what I've gained. I just can't even go around campus without seeing a ton of girls walking around in the other sorority's gear and just always thinking about it. Any advice would be great, please. Thank you.

Just to clarify, though, I'm not unthankful or unappreciative. I am so happy these girls wanted me and have met some absolutely incredible ones. It's more of just wondering what could have been and being upset over that and wondering what went wrong and why I got cut when I felt like I had found my home there.