How do I tell my mother I do not want to go through recruitment?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by KDCat

If you decide to list another sorority first, you don't have to tell your mom. She'll just assume that you didn't match with DDD.

Or mom might assume her sorority cut her precious snowflake, curse out the chapter President/VP Recruitment/everyone on Panhellenic and threaten to quit/stop donating/stop advising/etc. Because it couldn't be that daughter didn't want to join mom's sorority. Not implying that the OP's mom believes her daughter to be a "snowflake" or that she would be that crazy, just that we've seen this situation before on GC. Most sorority alumnae do not know how bid matching works.

OP, I'd like to echo the responses you've received. Bama is very much a "one shot at a bid" type of school. It would be SO much better to go through recruitment and KNOW it's not for you, than to skip it, and wonder "what if?" one day, or worse, realize you really would want to be a part of Greek Life. If you were going to school anywhere outside the SEC or other large southern schools (including Ole Miss and TCU should you decide to go there), I'd say you could probably wait until sophomore year to decide whether or not to go through recruitment, after you've met sorority women.

I know so many sorority women who thought "I'm not the sorority type" before joining. I was one of them. I wouldn't describe my 18 year old self as a tomboy, but I was in drama, and a total science geek, and very much a "drifter" in high school, having friends from various social circles, but I was not "popular" by any means. I found 4 chapters at my campus where I would have been a good fit, and joined one of them.

Had I attended a school like Alabama, I would not have been Greek because I was not sold on joining a sorority during my senior year of high school. My school has formal recruitment in the spring semester and it is common for sophomores to join. It was not until I actually met sorority women in my classes that I realized that all types of women join sororities. I had the luxury of having time to decide. You won't.

All sorority women are different. The only thing we all have in common is a drive to be the best version of ourselves. If you want to strive to that ideal, you should consider joining one.

Side note: is your mom bent on you joining DDD or would she be happy if you were to go Greek elsewhere? I am thinking the former, but it could be a good way to introduce the topic to her, a la "Mom, what if I don't feel like I fit in to DDD or what if they cut me?" See what she says.