I need advice and help. Have no idea where to put this.
Okay...so I completed formal recruitment last year. There aren't a lot of sororities at my school. But the first day I absolutely fell in love with one particular one and didn't really like the others. The next day, I was cut by that one and heartbroken. I felt such a strong connection at that one and felt at home. But I thought that I would end up where I was meant to be.
I ended up getting a bid from a sorority that loved me, but I didn't like them that much back. I felt like I didn't have a connection to any of the girls I talked to. But I thought "Well it must be a good thing if they really wanted me, I must really belong here. Besides, I only met about 10 of the girls out of 100, I'll make a connection with someone." So I accepted the bid, went through the pledge period and initiated.
Almost a year later, I don't know what to do. I'm always a bit sad that I got cut from the sorority I absolutely loved the first day and see them have so much fun on campus. They always look so fun together and you can tell they really love each other, it seems like they have a strong bond and a great sisterhood (The number 1 reason why I wanted to join a sorority)
I'm such a shy person....I try talking to some of my sisters but the conversations always come out awkward.... I always sit alone during meetings...The closest person I have is my big sister and she isn't in chapter right now because she has two jobs....The chapter I'm in doesn't do anything for sisterhoods...most of the girls never come to anything and don't get great grades...I wanted to be in a chapter where all the girls did everything together and showed up to all the events. During greek week there was only 20 girls that came to everything and compared to all the other sororities? There were almost 90 girls and they were loud and fun.
Anyways, it just makes me so sad that we don't have a strong sisterhood, and that I make a big effort to get to know the girls but they don't return it. I'm so worried for recruitment because you can all tell we're kinda being fake to each other.
I just feel so out of place here..... SO straight to the point.
Sorry I described so much I just didn't know who else to tell....
Should I wait it out a year for the new members and see if I have a bond and connection with them? Or quit now?
Sorry to explain everything so confusingly. It's just so hard to type/write it all out.
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