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You don't have to beat anything in my head. I should move on but really maybe for once in life it isn't that it was me who failed or it is my fault. I guess none of you have ever been screwed over and you get everything you want in life exactly how you wanted it. There is about 15 guys each grade level. It wasn't that I was so desperate to be their friends. I happen to live with 3 actives who have been members since 07 & 08. No, I can't explain why I am not in it when you would think I would be since I am close to the guys. That is why it was a big fucking deal to me! I didn't screw up and many did that were initiated but you know whatever lesson in life this was it SUCKS!
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