Quote:
Originally Posted by San-D
Oh wow, okay. Only thing to add is that bids were already given out - the 15 guys knew they were getting pinned, guy 16 had no idea it was going to happen.
So why invite him?
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Difficult to say.
Since he was invited to other events previously, it certainly seems he was under consideration.
It is possible that the final decision of who to pledge was made the day before the final rush event- after everyone had been invited. In other words, none of the 16 guys were a sure thing at the point of being invited.
It is possible that he made a critical error or that someone raised a serious objection to him getting a bid after he was invited to the final event and before the event took place.
It is also possible that he, for whatever reason, was not deemed suitable for this pledge class but might be a candidate for a bid in a future semester.
Membership selection is a private matter and he is not likely to ever know the real reason for what happened.
This might be considered an unusual situation- however it is perfectly normal if decisions about who to pledge were made during the final event, after top candidates were invited to the final event, or if the PNM had a special circumstance that resulted in a change in a decision to bid him at the last minute.
Any way you slice it, it must have been a hard experience for him- no doubt.
His best option at this point is to sit back and wait a couple of weeks- plus take some time to think about why he maybe did not get a bid, and also think about whether he really wants this.
Then, if there are 1 or 2 people in the fraternity who he knew before rush or spent a lot of time with during the rush process- have him talk to one of those guys and just say something like this, "I really enjoyed rush with the chapter. Should I pursue it in future semesters?" You could even add, "What can I do this semester to make myself a solid candidate?"
That is how to approach this. Forget trying to figure out why a bid was not given. That is ancient history, and pushing that question will make members of the chapter less likely to be honest.
The best thing is to just wait a bit, and then very informally say he had fun and wants to know if he should try again. That approach has the best chance of getting an honest answer.
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