3 months ago I started a new job, and the work is something I enjoy and that I can see myself doing very well with in the future. My background is 7 years in Corporate America. I left on very good terms to pursue a new career. Now I work for a small business owner. Big difference!
My boss is a very, very nice person. But she does not believe in positive reinforcement at work, at all. She is a nice person, but not once in three months has she told me I've done well on anything. Even when I've really come through a few times to prevent something bad from happening. Her theory (we talked about it when I first started) is that if she isn't expressly telling me I'm doing a bad job, it means I'm doing a good job.
Twice in the first month I asked her for feedback on how I was doing, and the second time she teased me about it, and the conversation was such that I have not and will not ask for feedback again.
The worst part is, that while she never says anything complimentary about my work, she points out EVERY little thing she thinks I did wrong. No matter how minor, no matter if I've done it perfectly 99 times out of 100. It's always in this overly dramatic lecturing style, too, never in passing.
The only saving grace is that I want to stay in this career, and again, she's a pretty nice person. But it's breaking my spirit a bit, to be honest.
The other side affect is that I find myself not trying as hard. Because the times I've really busted my rear to make something perfect, I get either no acknowledgement, or I get the lecture for something that wasn't perfect. (Incidentally, this was from day one. I've gotten zero learning curve with her.) Basically, there will be something I did wrong no matter how hard I try. Giving little effort affords me very nearly the same level of admonishment as giving great effort.
Sorry this is so long. My bottom line questions are this:
1. Is this normal? Have I just been spoiled by the way my previous company was so geared towards positive reinforcement that I now depend upon it too much? I'm trying VERY hard not to be needy, but part of me wonders if I just need to suck it up.
2. Has anyone else ever been in this situation, and if so, what have you done within yourself to deal? Ordinarily I would talk to her directly about it, but I have learned enough about her by now to know that is a very bad idea. I can't explain in full, but no matter how badly I would like to talk it out with her, it's just not going to happen.
I have a one year committment, and I need to get through it. I need this job to afford me a better job in the same industry. Essentially, if I quit this job early, I will likely have to quit the career as well. And that's not an option. So, I need to figure out how to not let this break my spirit. And trust me when I say that 9 months is already looking like an eternity, else I would never put this all out there like this! So ideas are very welcome.
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