Kato,
I appreciate your situation and wish you well. I admire your service to our country (THANK YOU!) and am glad that you have come back with such a positive attitude.
As a wife and mother, I have to say that I would have a problem with my husband pledging a fraternity. The time commitment is immense if you truly are planning on doing all that the other pledges are doing. Add to that the commitment you are making to do well in school, and I just don't see how a person could possibly give all that is needed to meet each of the commitment's needs - your marriage being foremost.
Your wife must be a saint, either that, or she doesn't know quite what your looking at getting into.
JMO - I truly do wish you luck