Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie93
KSU-
I agree. This is a completely rude question. As someone who didn't marry until I was 31 and didn't have my first child until a week before my 34th birthday, trust me, I have heard both the marriage and kid question a time or two (or 600).
Here's the thing. I wouldn't trade my 20s for *anything.* I traveled freely, saw the country, advanced in my career, and learned how to be self-sufficient in car maintenence, computer/electronic issues, financial matters, etc. I went to tons of concerts, enjoyed a few too many happy hours, and did plenty "spur of the moment" activities. I met tons of other women who were also single (living in Dallas, being single in your 20s is not unusual) as well as the opportunity to meet lots of different men too. It is unbelievable what a different- and better- person I was at 29 than I was at 24.
By contrast, my friends who married straight out of college were either divorced or not happy in their marriage by age 30. That is not to say that that is the case for everyone who marries younger, but it certainly was for my circle. These people were the ones at 25 making me feel guilty for not being married, yet by 30 they were openly jealous of the freedom that I had.
I usually told the nosy people that I was enjoying the opportunity to do things while I was single that I might not have the opportunity to if I was married and certainly if I had kids. I also pointed out how miserable my married friends were, and that I *could* be married if I had wanted to (which was true...) but we would now be talking about my divorce. That usually shut the people up.
I do think I matters where you live... both Dallas and Nashville were very "single-friendly" and even once I was married I found I still had plenty of single friends. I now live in a town where the norm is to marry at 22 and to start having kids right away. So... everyone I meet that is my age has been married for 12-13 years, have 4 kids, and the oldest is 11. Even though they are the same age as me... they just "seem" 10 years older. They look at me like I have 2 heads when I mention that I only have 1 child (and he is only 1 yr old). These are super-nice people, but having a conversation with them about anything but kids is next to impossible... because it is all they know. We just have different life experiences.
Therefore, I bring it back to my original point... "I wouldn't trade my 20s for anything."
Best of luck to you... enjoy your singleness, and don't worry about the questions. Once you do decide to get married it will just turn to the kid question, and then it will turn to the 2nd kid question. Since the questions never really stop... just enjoy where you are in life and have fun.
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I agree with every single word of this. More than once, I started to reply to this thread with a "keep your 20s to yourself!" post, but you put it all into words perfectly, Blondie. I loved every minute of my 20s, had the time of my life, learned what it felt like to take complete control of my life and excelled in my professional life. I met my husband when I was 30, married when I was 32 and truly felt like I knew who I was and was better able to adjust to sharing my life with someone. I've often said there's no way I'd still be married if I'd stayed with the guy I was with at 21, 23, 26, etc. Ignore people who act like you "should" be married before you're 30. If it's for you, great, but if it's not, don't rush it. You will be glad that you can look back and say how much you lived and enjoyed your freedom in your 20s, to me, those are the years you really grow and develop as an individual.
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