Hi, my name is Joseph... and I have a problem.
I went out partying with my good friend, Kelly, and it was understood that we were going out as a couple that night.
Well, at the bar, Kelly started getting a little drunk. Next thing I know, I'm giving a ride to her and this other guy she started talking to that said he needed a ride.
I dropped the guy off, and then Kelly said that she needed to go inside to use the bathroom.
After waiting for a while, I went in to check up and Kelly was in the bathroom having loud sex with this guy.
I was humiliated and drove home crying. The next day Kelly called up and was acting all innocent. When I said I didn't want to talk to her, she said that I was just a "Wierd stalker Jewish asshole" and she hated me.
I've just had a very bad couple of years. I hate to go on and on, but it all started last summer when I lost my job at Adbrite. My boss, Pud Kaplan, lost the position as CEO. On his way being escorted out of the building, he yelled at me and called me a fruitcake.
A few weeks later, I was canned. I tried to go out at night to make myself feel better. I ended up with this girl I'll call 'Scamp.' One night we were going at it and she was making sounds and I said, 'are you dying?' and she suddenly freaked out and left.
I guess I'm just very depressed. What can I do to feel better? And is there anyone in Washington DC that wants to hook up tonight?
Singing off,
Joe Wang
8792372632
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