I was in the mall with my roommate and friends and I let out one of those "silent screamers." It was MUCH worse than I thought it'd be, so I whispered, "RUN!" She didn't hear me and walked
right into it and yelled, "DID YOU FART?!?!" The woman behind the counter turned and looked like she had just heard a gunshot, then turned brick red trying not to laugh. Thank God, we were the only ones in the store, but still...
And another time I was sitting at the table with 3 friends having lunch and I had to fart really badly. I thought it would be a quiet one so I tried to ease it out, but it wouldn't come, so I pushed a little harder. IT WAS THE WORLD'S LOUDEST FART, I SWEAR MY BUTT CHEEKS FLAPPED AGAINST EACH OTHER. The girl talking paused and everybody looked at me, then just kept going for about a minute, then in mid-sentence she was like, "Was that you?" They all started laughing and my heart slowly started to beat again. I was beet red, I was so embarassed that I stayed another 2 minutes, then was like, "Well, I'm done, see you guys later...."
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