Alpha Xi Delta closes its doors

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Moxie
Besides, talking about something a long time after it's happened isn't a bad thing. people learn from history!

True words of wisdom from my sister!

[33girl]

aopiinthesky,

Some GLOs put a "deuteron" after the chapter name when they recolonize...for example Kappa Beta chapter becomes Kappa Beta Deuteron chapter. I think the majority of groups don't do that, however. We recolonized our Kappa Phi chapter 90 years after its closing, and even though the chapter name is completely out of whack w/ our naming conventions, we kept it.

and as for everyone who wants us to "let it go," I agree with Moxie...we need to learn from history, not sweep screwups under the rug and keep repeating them. If this situation helped AXiD and any other GLO who reads this to have it NOT happen again, then I think we've performed a public service by re-bringing up this thread.

[pirepresent]

And on top of that, had this thread been discussed so in-depth at the time the chapter was shut down, everyone would have accused g8ralphaxi of being "too emotional" and "caught up in the heat of the situation"... I think the fact that she's had a couple of years to consider the situation, which I am sure she has, most certainly makes her insight valuable, if for no other reason then to warn national groups to be more caring and considerate when considering the fate of a chapter.

[kddani]

Too many sisters and brothers take their national officers to be infalliable gods of greek life. Like others have said, they're human, mistakes are made.

We should always question them. We should always question ourselves. We should always question our group and our policies. How else would anything ever get changed, how else would progress be made? Blindly following a leader or group of leaders isn't the way.

A good citizen (whether it be of a country, state, county, city, or GLO) should always question their leaders. Why do you think we have elections? And at least the national council of GLOs are elected. We have a right to know what they're doing, so we can make informed decisions ourselves.

I disagree with quite a few policies and actions of national KD. Doesn't mean that I love it any less, but I do disagree. And guess what, that's okay. The world isn't going to come to an end.

There's nothing wrong with this thread. Just because it's something negative, doesn't mean it should be locked. The thread, for the most part, has been conducted very plesantly and fairly.

Rushqueen, I don't know what your deal is, but you're the only one being mean-spirited on this thread. We're three years removed from the event. I think that's plenty of time for any anger to calm down and it seems like we're having a very productive discussion here.

[ZTAngel]

I think it's essential to discuss what happens when our nationals mess up. Just as kddani stated, our nationals are not perfect. They do make mistakes. I believe that it is important to question those decisions and make sure that those decisions are for the betterment of the sorority.

I will add that I was a student at UCF during the fiasco with AZD at UF. We did hear bits and pieces of what happened. I then lived with an AZD from UCF during one summer who was very involved with her chapter's exec board and involved with AZD nationally. She never told me the details of the UF AZD situation but, from the little that she did tell me, it correlated 100% with what G8ralphaxi had to say.

Why would G8ralphaxi make this up? What satisfaction would it bring? It's obvious from her posts that she was hurt by something that she loved very much. Instead of critizing her, I think that we should learn from her story. It could happen to any of our chapters.

[rushqueen44]

This is the last thing I'm going to say here. I'm sorry if anyone took my comments as mean spirited, but I take great issue with some statements that were made against an entire organization based on the comments of one person. That's unfair. And it riles me up a bit.

I agree that we should question our leaders. I question the leaders of my own GLO all the time. But, I do so in a respectful manner, neither insulting them or referring to them as the Village Idiot.

I continue to go back to the post pages ago where someone pointed out that we only have one side of this story.

If that is true, and we can agree on that, I have to question why it is a foregone conclusion that the GLO "screwed up."


Yes, G8ralphaxi is obviously very angry with her national organization. However, the rest of us have no clue what steps were taken or where the miscommunication occurred. We don't know that the national organization flat out said "you aren't wanted here - leave" or "thanks for the offer of your help but we've got it under control." Those are two different things. Granted they can be read the same way by the receiver, but that doesn't mean that the person saying it felt that the assistance offered was "inferior" or "embarrassing"...just not needed at that point in time.

For the national organization to tell the newest members that they can be a part of the colony and then renig on that - that's not cool. I have to wonder, however, knowing that I was a collegiate member who often heard what I wanted to hear instead of what was said whether or not this was yet another in a long line of miscommunication.

We don't know.

then "idiot" is far too tame a word for those people

to realize that the vows we took the night of initiation meant absolutely nothing to the so-called leadership of our organization. In my mind, those idiots are NOT my sisters.

I don't take issue with this thread. I take issue with the posts that blindly follow G8Ralphaxi in bashing her GLO and intimating that the inter/national officers of the organization are somehow evil cretins for doing what they think is in the best interests of their organization at the time.

[G8Ralphaxi]

I will admit it - even though several years have passed, I am still unhappy with the way my chapter was treated. Guilty as charged! Or maybe I'm just human.

For those of you who are taking issue with what I have said, let me clarify a few points that may have been lost in my admittedly long, possibly rambling posts.

There were a number of officers from high in our organization who were involved in the situation.

Not all of them were bad. Several I actually liked and respected a lot. (Any Alpha Xis out there - the "Care Bear" lady = good person ) These women tried to help our chapter, but were outnumbered or outranked by the others.

When I say "idiots" I am not referring to everyone. "Village Idiot" was our nickname for the consultant they sent down in the last year we rushed - clearly the most crucial year for our house. She had never been a consultant before and had just graduated from a small northern college. OK, we're in serious trouble, and you send an unexperienced newbie from up north to help us figure out rush at a big Southern university? We tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but she really was not that bright. She spent most of her time ignoring us and sending IMs and emails to her friends up north. Plus her stories about how her 1st choice was "ABC" but she ended up an Alpha Xi and it was "okay" so she stayed. Thanks for the inspiration.

There were a couple other idiots, too. One who thought that we could just sing our troubles away. The last year our chapter was in existence, and she's trying to make everyone stay after dinner and sing. Now, I'm all for sisterhood activities, but singing every day? This isn't a Disney musical, darling. I'm not going to waste your time with a play-by-play of all the idiotic things that I witnessed, but I stand behind what I wrote. Some of these people were IDIOTS.

Then there was the "Someone-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed" who was one of the most vocal. To this day I do not know exactly why she was so bitter towards our chapter (I heard that she was pretty nice to other chapters), but I heard a rumor that some unknowing sister had failed to recognize her and show her proper respect as an alumnae several years before I came (i.e., not standing and clapping upon her entry and giving her the traditional introduction), but that was only a rumor and I can't say for sure.

Note: See the part that says "that was only a rumor"? This is the first time in ANY of my posts on this topic that I've said something that I didn't know 100% was a fact. I take offense when I say "They said X and then did Y" and someone thinks I'm distorting the facts.

As far as whether we were "hearing what we wanted to hear" - I don't think that's the problem. Believe me, those of us involved talked about all of these events A LOT. Everything that I witnessed was also witnessed by other sisters and we are in agreement about what happened. If you have a couple dozen people and they all tell the same story, I really doubt that they're suffering a mass delusion. Again, it doesn't come down to something that happened on just one day; there was a consistent pattern of behavior over several years.

Once again, I will say for the last time, I have been very careful to only post what I know as fact. Events I saw firsthand, verifiable by other people. I would gladly testify in court that everything I have written is true.

As far as why there is no response from the "other side" - I would be shocked if there was one. In Fall 2000, the Alligator article at the beginning of this post appeared and the recolonization fell apart, the response from Nationals was that they didn't get enough interested applicants. However, the Alligator had reported that there were 200-300 women who had showed up at the interest meetings. When DZ colonized here recently, they attracted virtually identical numbers at their interest meetings, formed a colony of about 150 new members, and are very successful today.

Reread that last paragraph - you judge for yourself whether Nationals was being truthful. I wished I'd saved a copy of the letter they sent out afterwards to the alumnae of our chapter and others in Florida. It was full of so many "inaccuracies" it made my head spin.

I doubt that Alpha Xi Delta will be back at UF for a very long time. UF's deans of Greek Affaris told us that they were so horrified by the actions of our National representatives that they would not welcome recolonization efforts for at least the near future. I would not expect them to try again until there is a complete turnover - both at Nationals and at UF, with all of us graduated and new advisors. The house was rented out to TKE for awhile and now is some kind of women-only housing. The quill has been taken off the door and our beautiful letters that were part of the front porch now have an ugly mat glued on top of them. It almost breaks my heart to drive by, so I usually avoid it.

I stand by everything I have written here. If you think I've been unfair or mean-spirited, fine. You are entitled to your opinion and I respect your First Amendment rights. Please respect mine.

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Ah Love! could you and I with Him conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things Entire,
Would not we shatter it to bits - and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!"

from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, by Edward Fitzgerald

[rushqueen44]

You are entitled to your opinion and I respect your First Amendment rights. Please respect mine.

Done.

I just hope the Village Idiot and the Disney musical director don't have internet access or know about greekchat, and if they do, don't read this thread. Being publicly defamed is a high price to pay for not having the skills to help you save your chapter.

That said, all the best to you and your fellow alums. I hope this chapter in your life is the worst you ever face.

And I don't wish this on any organization or chapter ever, ever again.

Geez. Somebody forgot to take the broomstick out of her ass today.

[rushqueen44]

That was necessary. Thanks for your insight.

[KillarneyRose]

I'll come right out and say that I think rushqueen44 is either one of the national officers that G8Ralphaxi *didn't* name in her thread or is "up there" in the organization today. It just seems like she's spending way too much time trying to undermine G8R's story.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks*




*my apologies to Mr. Shakespeare. I know that phrase is overused, but it just fit so well

[rushqueen44]

Interesting theory...

That could be true. Then again, maybe I'm just somebody who's been there before, both in G8R's shoes and in the idiot's shoes.

Perhaps the lady doth protest because the lady is emotionally attached to a similar situation and knows how much it sucks regardless of which side you're on.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by rushqueen44
Done.

I just hope the Village Idiot and the Disney musical director don't have internet access or know about greekchat, and if they do, don't read this thread. Being publicly defamed is a high price to pay for not having the skills to help you save your chapter.

That said, all the best to you and your fellow alums. I hope this chapter in your life is the worst you ever face.

And I don't wish this on any organization or chapter ever, ever again.

How would anyone know who they are, other than other Alpha Xi's from UF? It's not like either of them are going to come into my store looking for a sweater and I'm going to say "You! You're the one who fubared at UF."

G8ralphaxi, you're handling this situation, which sucks, with a lot of class, and I'm proud of you for that.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by rushqueen44



I don't take issue with this thread. I take issue with the posts that blindly follow G8Ralphaxi in bashing her GLO and intimating that the inter/national officers of the organization are somehow evil cretins for doing what they think is in the best interests of their organization at the time.

I don't think anybody's going around saying "Alpha Xi Delta as a national organization sucks and nobody should join it." I think it's been made clear that most of us are agreeing that what happened to G8Ralphaxi's chapter is really horrible on the condition that the way she's reporting it is true.

As I said before, nobody's saying this is an Alpha Xi problem. It's a problem for all of us. Anybody who's been around GC long enough knows that this happens far too often to too many different organizations.

[SoCalGirl]

Originally posted by G8Ralphaxi
Go back and read my post. Our situation was not as black-and-white as you try to put it - you have oversimplified. One of our major concerns was the last pledge class that joined in our last year as an active chapter. The problems with the chapter were not their fault and we did not want them punished for it by losing the chance to enjoy Greek life at UF for the next 2-3 of their years in college. We were told that the younger sisters would be able to rejoin, no problem.

Nationals also asked us for our help. They especially wanted the help of sisters who had been very active on campus and positive influences in the house - that's what they said, anyway. Anyone who was bitter or apathetic about our chapter's situation was not going to be bothered, but those of us who were dedicated to Alpha Xi Delta and had tried so hard to make the chapter succeed were recruited that Spring to assist with the recolonization in the Fall.

We even took the steps of forming a Zeta Omicron (our chapter) Alumnae Association as a way to be organized in our efforts to assist the colony. The executive officers were members who were active when we voted to close the chapter. We did all this with National's blessing.

When Fall came, there was a core group of a little more than a dozen older sisters who were committed to helping the house succeed and about that many of the younger sisters who also wanted to help and then rejoin the colony chapter. It should not surprise anyone that the stress of the chapter closing and recolonizing meant that the only sisters still around were the loyal, energetic, high-GPA, active on campus types - the best representatives for which any sorority could ask. We were the ones who had been the heart of the chapter, and we showed up, ready for hard work.

We were given a schedule of events. We helped tidy up the chapter house. We offered advice about UF's Greek system and what we thought was needed to succeed here.

Then, the recolonization process started. Suddenly and completely unexpectedly, sisters who showed up at events - events that they had been asked to attend - were told that they were not welcome and should leave. The representatives from Nationals told us to tell everyone to stay away from the chapter house, we were not welcome inside, and not to wear letters. No explanation, just suddenly wanting to pretend we didn't exist.

My intention was to oversimplify as I didn't intend my post to be specifically about your chapter. I even put {I'm talking in a general sense and not referring to any particular school or org.}

With 26 National sororities ran mostly by volunteers I am confident your situation is not unique.

I know I would have been devastated in that situation and would probably have cut all ties. I hope one day that AXiD will be able to successfully recolonize at UF and that all chapters at UF will be considered strong in their own right no matter how many sisters they may have or what the chapter "image" may be.