Are you @#$%ing kidding me??

[AGDee]

If you're told by both the band director and the Boy Scout Troop Scoutmaster that you should NOT attend band camp or boy scout camp with your son this summer, then you have a problem. Yeah, there is a mom like that who I interact with frequently. It's gotten worse since she is now a breast cancer survivor. Truly, her whole identity is wrapped up in her son and I do have concerns for what she'll do when/if he moves out someday. She is really dependent on him. He is fine without her.. I know, because he managed band camp just fine last year when I was there and she wasn't. Whereas, she kept messaging me on Facebook to find out how he was doing.

[IrishLake]

As a working mom who is a former SAH mom, I have to say this is a really good thread/discussion. And I agree with Dr Phil, and it isn't because of her kickass sig.

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Thanks for the moo plug, because I just checked them out and think they look far better than other suggestions I've gotten for my show announcements. Are they quick?

I like this whole idea. It's genuinely never occurred to me but I think I might have some made for both social and academic situations. Sounds like a great way to stand out a little.

Yes, I found their turnaround to be very quick, and I get a load of compliments on the cards I designed there. Their in-house design thing on their website is fantastic and easy to use. Plus, I chipped in the extra $2 and got the recycled ones. I'm a dork.

My work ones are just so boring (and ugly), but they're still my work ones, so I have to have them.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

christiangirl, you are a smart networker. That's how it should be done.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by agzg

Obviously. I bet she has a mommy card for each of her kids individually.

I just got a visual of her handing someone 5 cards. iLaughed.

[AGDee]

I couldn't help but think of the Duggar mom who would need to make 3 x 5 cards to fit all the names on there...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

That's fair--it was the blanket statement that threw me off. I'm not unfamiliar with the phenomenon of the parent who wraps her identity around a child. One woman in particular, a former co-worker, has revolved her entire life around her three-year old daughter. Her daughter's come before her livelihood (no matter how much you love your child, you really need to be able to keep a roof over his/her head) and her marriage (which really should come first).

Hi-jack:

I've had people seriously debate me over the "you need to place your relationship with your spouse over your kids" point.

That's my belief (happy parents with a solid relationship lead to well-adjusted kids), but there are people who seriously think you said "I want to BBQ my children with a side of corn and feed them to my husband" when you say "marriage = first."

(Obviously, yes, if the other parent is an axe murderer, the kid's health and safety needs to come first. But I'm talking about in normal situations.)

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Hi-jack:

I've had people seriously debate me over the "you need to place your relationship with your spouse over your kids" point.

That's my belief (happy parents with a solid relationship lead to well-adjusted kids), but there are people who seriously think you said "I want to BBQ my children with a side of corn and feed them to my husband" when you say "marriage = first."

(Obviously, yes, if the other parent is an axe murderer, the kid's health and safety needs to come first. But I'm talking about in normal situations.)

A few years ago, a fairly well-known author wrote an essay about how she loved her husband more than she loved her children. You'd have thought she wrote a screed discussing the benefits of pedophilia, the way that so many women lashed out at her. She went on Oprah and they had to hold one lady back!

I think that what she said might be a little simplistic (I'd imagine you'd love your children in a different way than you'd love a romantic partner!), it's not a terrible thing to admit. The marriage is the foundation--which is why kids are often happier (in the long run) after a divorce.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Hi-jack:

I've had people seriously debate me over the "you need to place your relationship with your spouse over your kids" point.

That's my belief (happy parents with a solid relationship lead to well-adjusted kids), but there are people who seriously think you said "I want to BBQ my children with a side of corn and feed them to my husband" when you say "marriage = first."

(Obviously, yes, if the other parent is an axe murderer, the kid's health and safety needs to come first. But I'm talking about in normal situations.)

Here's the order as far as I'm concerned:

God
Spouse/significant other
Kids

[KSUViolet06]

I think everyone knows someone whose familial order of importance = kids first and marriage second.

They *gasp* at the thought of things like date night (because "spending time with the kids comes first")and *shudder* at vacay without Suzie and Johnny (and their last childfree outing = their honeymoon.) LOL.

I just think it's important to be able to relate to each other as more than "mom and dad." At some point, your kids move out and you need to have more than life as parents to stay together.

[PhoenixAzul]

Before my husband and I got married, we went to pre-cana classes (per the Catholic church requirement). A lot of it was basic relationship stuff, managing households and what have you, but they really drove home the point that your spouse should come first, above children. It was surprising. And I have to say that I agree with it.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I just think it's important to be able to relate to each other as more than "mom and dad." At some point, your kids move out and you need to have more than life as parents to stay together.

I agree with this. To avoid making too broad a starement, I'll just say that my wife and I have decided that for us and our family, our relationship comes first -- or at leads needs to. Keeping it that way can be a major struggle sometimes, especially when one of the kids has needs that require more attention and can become all-consuming. But aside from the question of what happens after the kids are gone, we feel that for us putting spouse first models a view marriage that we want our kids to have.

[33girl]

I find that the women who put kids over spouse are usually the ones who also put boyfriend over friends (as in completely dropped the friends when she got a boyfriend).

[SydneyK]

How have we gotten five pages into this thread without any of our highly-observant GCers not commenting on the typo on the site? This was the first thing I saw once I clicked 33's link:

Wecome to TheMommyCard.com

It's hard to take it seriously when the first line has such a glaring error. I didn't even really look at the site after seeing that.

[AGDee]

I was actually kind of more aghast at the pet mommy cards than anything else.

[agzg]

We're so used to typos and craptastic writing skills all over GC that we don't notice them anymore?