Gay Emory Student Dragged From Frat Party

[Kevin]

An alleged reply from the individual who threw the "Wizard" out.

Hello all. This is Adam Smith, and I would like to add this:

I do not know the individual that I kicked out of the party. If I knew his name I would have already sent him a sincere and personal apology for the incident that occurred.
I am in NO WAY at all a homophobic person. I have many friends at Emory who will vouch for me as a friendly guy and a genuinely great person.

This article paints me in an unfairly negative way. It was originally written and published without my input at all, using accounts by the Wizard and his friend(s) only. I was told earlier tonight that an article had just been posted about me online. I shockingly read it in its entirety, including that "Smith was attempted to be reached for comment but did not respond." For the record, I received zero emails, calls/texts, Facebook messages...I am sure if anyone on the Emory Wheel staff put in any sort of honest effort to contact me they easily could have. I tracked down the editor of the Wheel's cell phone number and called him at 2am this morning, asking how this could have happened. He talked with me briefly, wrote down a few comments, and then informed me that the hard copy of the Wheel had already been printed but agreed to add in what I had to say in the online version.

If Emory wants to bring the issue to light that the student body and/or Greek system is unfriendly toward the LGBT community, and that "instances of violence [against LGBT] have been less visible on Emory’s campus", I think this is a cheap, irresponsible, and unfair way to go about doing it. To take this hazy, isolated incident, blow it out of proportion, and turn me into a scapegoat and slander my name is ridiculous. I think it is unprofessional reporting and would hope for some sort of apology from the Emory Wheel.

Further there was not any "approving reaction" from the crowd at the party for me putting this kid in a headlock and throwing him out, nor was I walking around bragging to other people that I just kicked "this faggot kid" out of the party, high five bro...Really?? This whole dumb event occurred because I was drunk and thought it would be funny to throw someone out to the wrath of the huge security guard at the door, and the most ridiculous person that naturally stood out to me was this Wizard dressed kid. I purposely egged him on a little bit, he snapped back at me, and I threw him out.

So chalk this up as me being a drunk asshole, a frat guy with too much testosterone, or whatever you want to call me I really don't care. I just want everyone to know that that's literally all it was, that's the honest truth. I'm not some ignorant bigot looking to bash homosexuals, so please don't think that. I hope the Wheel in the future will find better content to publish, rather than turning something small like this into an inflated and untruthful story in order to spark artificial controversy at the cost of an individual like me.

Thanks,
Adam

This is a really good example as to why guest lists are a good idea. Because they had an open party and no guest list, this organization is now facing some pretty serious allegations regarding a now admitted "drunk asshole" picking some kid to toss out of a party. And naturally, there are two sets of facts, both from people who would clearly have strong motivation to lie.

Another lesson here is crisis communication. This chapter obviously doesn't have or know their crisis communication plan. In a case like this, the chapter president, or maybe even the chapter's legal counsel needs to be the sole point of contact for the media. The member in question definitely doesn't need to be posting his recollection of the events in the comments section of the newspaper's website. Mr. Smith and Sigma Nu are now married to the admission that Smith was a "drunk asshole" who was looking to pick someone different looking out of the crowd and toss him out just for the hell of it.

I doubt anyone is getting sued or going to jail, but Smith's brothers probably aren't going to be very happy with them since they're probably going to have to spend several hours in some sort of ridiculous diversity workshop to pay for their brother's drunken assholery which took probably all of 30 seconds to complete.

[DrPhil]

The chapter did have security at the party. That's a nice letter that Smith wrote.

There are some things about the tone of his article. I did chuckle at "I'm a nice guy" as though that prevents being a homophobe. Also, saying things because you're angry and/or drunk doesn't make someone not a potential homophobe.

I'm also amused by the "drunk frat guy with too much testosterone." Oh how heteromasculinity amuses me.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

The chapter did have security at the party. That's a nice letter that Smith wrote.

There are some things about the tone of his article. I did chuckle at "I'm a nice guy" as though that prevents being a homophobe. Also, saying things because you're angry and/or drunk doesn't make someone not a potential homophobe.

I'm also amused by the "drunk frat guy with too much testosterone." Oh how heteromasculinity amuses me.

He shouldn't have written the letter. As Kevin said, dealing with the media is better left to someone other than the person involved, and probably to an actual adult. There's even more "he said/he said" now, and as Kevin pointed out, both parties have a motivation to lie/embellish/omit.

Were there some homophobic slurs used? I believe it. Was it as dramatic as Wizard-kid described? I doubt it. I'm glad that Smith did acknowledge the stupidity of the incident, but he loses points for IMO leaving a few details out. Which is why it shouldn't be him addressing the media.

[nittanygirl]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

There's even more "he said/he said" now, and as Kevin pointed out, both parties have a motivation to lie/embellish/omit.

That's exactly what this is. He said/he said. We, who were not there, have no way of knowing the truth of what happened. This whole thing could have been blown out of proportion.
Gay kid gets thrown out of a party he wasn't invited to? Great way to get attention is to say it was because he was gay.
Fraternity boy actually does make gay-hate remarks? Cover it up by lying.

We have no way of knowing what actually happened. Either story could be plausible.

My thought is, if you don't want someone in your party, don't let them in the door in the first place.

[lucgreek]

Coming from a media background, I think it was very bad form, bordering unethical, to publish his name without knowing the other side of the story. There were no charges filed, no police called and no arrests made.

The name of the accuser should have been published. If you're not going to pursue criminal charges, it's not fair to hide behind a veil of anonymity and hurl accusations out.

Like I've said before, both parties are in the wrong, the fraternity alum more so for turning the altercation physical. But from the information that has been revealed, it seems like it was just a case of drunk kids being drunk.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

He shouldn't have written the letter. As Kevin said, dealing with the media is better left to someone other than the person involved, and probably to an actual adult. There's even more "he said/he said" now, and as Kevin pointed out, both parties have a motivation to lie/embellish/omit.

Were there some homophobic slurs used? I believe it. Was it as dramatic as Wizard-kid described? I doubt it. I'm glad that Smith did acknowledge the stupidity of the incident, but he loses points for IMO leaving a few details out. Which is why it shouldn't be him addressing the media.

These aren't actual adults? The '10 alum in question is probably 21 or older.

In reading the article, it looks like there's a consensus about the assault and slurs that were used. The disagreement is over why it happened and whether it was somewhat justified.

[33girl]

I chuckled at the fact that his name is Adam Smith.

Guest lists help, but not always. If this had been a guest list party, and the wizard kid would have crashed it and they threw him out, most likely the results would have been the same. Outsiders (including the police) don't care and don't understand that guest lists are a RM precaution. They see it as another example of Greek snobbery/elitism.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

This gay guy.
This gay guy.
This gay guy.

That is how he is referred to in the article. If they had given his actual name, then I would have used his name. I think that by stating his sexual orientation (which is his business, btw), it just made the whole story more sensational, like others have said.

How do you know that he knew that he was putting himself in a potentially volatile situation. That is presumptuous and superdramatic. He chose to go to a party at an off-campus fraternity house with some friends. Nothing ground breaking and wooptydoo there.

How do we know the opposite is not true too? I really doubt this young gay man just innocently walked into the party without knowing the 'vibe' of the fraternity, or the fraternity culture on that campus in general. Like I said, I don't think he is as innocent as you are trying to make him to be.

I don't believe that you really think it doesn't excuse what the fraternity men did because you are overstating what "this gay guy" did. That makes me think you are partially excusing what the fraternity men did. That may not be your intention but that is the outcome. Afterall, "this gay guy" knew better.

No, it does not excuse what the fraternity men did. They were wrong for escalating the incident. But, I also think given the nature of how the situation occurred, they gay guy has to shoulder some of the blame too. If not legally, then at least morally.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

How do we know the opposite is not true too? I really doubt this young gay man just innocently walked into the party without knowing the 'vibe' of the fraternity, or the fraternity culture on that campus in general. Like I said, I don't think he is as innocent as you are trying to make him to be.

Innocent of what? Innocent for what?

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Innocent of what? Innocent for what?

The way I've read your posts, it seems to me as if you are trying to say this gay guy unknowingly walked in on this off campus fraternity party without knowing the hosts, the attire, who else might be there, the reason for the party.

I mean come on. Before anyone of sound mind is going to go to a party, they are going to 'check it out first' to see if it worth going.

So, I am trying to say is that he is not innocent of not knowing.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

The way I've read your posts, it seems to me as if you are trying to say this gay guy unknowingly walked in on this off campus fraternity party without knowing the hosts, the attire, who else might be there, the reason for the party.

No, re-read my posts.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

No, re-read my posts.

Okay, I'll just take your word for it.....

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

He chose to go to a party at an off-campus fraternity house with some friends.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

He knew his friends who were at the party. The article didn't paint him as some stray who wandered off the street.

This is what I stated.

LOL. I don't know why "innocent" has anything to do with this topic.

What sigmadiva is contending is that he had to know what he was getting himself into because he absolutely had to know that this was a heteromasculine frat boy party where wizard hats and gay dudes would not only raise eyebrows but result in an assault and gay slurs. That's silly.

[knight_shadow]

I really hope this was a theme party or Halloween party. I don't know of anyone who thinks that wizard hat = freakum dress

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

This is what I stated.

LOL. I don't know why "innocent" has anything to do with this topic.

What sigmadiva is contending is that he had to know what he was getting himself into because he absolutely had to know that this was a heteromasculine frat boy party where wizard hats and gay dudes would not only raise eyebrows but result in an assault and gay slurs. That's silly.

Yup. He went to the party. A party he did not have to go to. He went to a party hosted by people who tend to have a certain opinion about sexual orientations.

When I was an undergrad at TAMU, I did not know about every NIC/IFC fraternity, but just by being on campus and interacting with some of the members and their associates in classes and thorough different orgs and friends, I picked the 'vibe' on a few of them.

I knew the ones that I could be cool with and hang out with them, and I knew the ones who were okay, but I dare not go out to their fraternity house for a party.