Gay Emory Student Dragged From Frat Party

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Yes! Given the circumstance of this situation, this gay guy will need to accept his part of the blame.

He put himself in a situation that was potentially volatile, and it was. He walked into that party, no one forced him in there. It still does not excuse what they fraternity men did.

This gay guy.
This gay guy.
This gay guy.

How do you know that he knew that he was putting himself in a potentially volatile situation. That is presumptuous and superdramatic. He chose to go to a party at an off-campus fraternity house with some friends. Nothing ground breaking and wooptydoo there.

I don't believe that you really think it doesn't excuse what the fraternity men did because you are overstating what "this gay guy" did. That makes me think you are partially excusing what the fraternity men did. That may not be your intention but that is the outcome. Afterall, "this gay guy" knew better.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

This gay guy.
This gay guy.
This gay guy.

That is how he is referred to in the article. If they had given his actual name, then I would have used his name. I think that by stating his sexual orientation (which is his business, btw), it just made the whole story more sensational, like others have said.

How do you know that he knew that he was putting himself in a potentially volatile situation. That is presumptuous and superdramatic. He chose to go to a party at an off-campus fraternity house with some friends. Nothing ground breaking and wooptydoo there.

How do we know the opposite is not true too? I really doubt this young gay man just innocently walked into the party without knowing the 'vibe' of the fraternity, or the fraternity culture on that campus in general. Like I said, I don't think he is as innocent as you are trying to make him to be.

I don't believe that you really think it doesn't excuse what the fraternity men did because you are overstating what "this gay guy" did. That makes me think you are partially excusing what the fraternity men did. That may not be your intention but that is the outcome. Afterall, "this gay guy" knew better.

No, it does not excuse what the fraternity men did. They were wrong for escalating the incident. But, I also think given the nature of how the situation occurred, they gay guy has to shoulder some of the blame too. If not legally, then at least morally.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

How do we know the opposite is not true too? I really doubt this young gay man just innocently walked into the party without knowing the 'vibe' of the fraternity, or the fraternity culture on that campus in general. Like I said, I don't think he is as innocent as you are trying to make him to be.

Innocent of what? Innocent for what?

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Innocent of what? Innocent for what?

The way I've read your posts, it seems to me as if you are trying to say this gay guy unknowingly walked in on this off campus fraternity party without knowing the hosts, the attire, who else might be there, the reason for the party.

I mean come on. Before anyone of sound mind is going to go to a party, they are going to 'check it out first' to see if it worth going.

So, I am trying to say is that he is not innocent of not knowing.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

The way I've read your posts, it seems to me as if you are trying to say this gay guy unknowingly walked in on this off campus fraternity party without knowing the hosts, the attire, who else might be there, the reason for the party.

No, re-read my posts.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

No, re-read my posts.

Okay, I'll just take your word for it.....

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

How do we know the opposite is not true too? I really doubt this young gay man just innocently walked into the party without knowing the 'vibe' of the fraternity, or the fraternity culture on that campus in general. Like I said, I don't think he is as innocent as you are trying to make him to be.

I'm kinda on board with you. But can you distinguish between the above paragraph and saying that a woman who was wearing a short skirt and a revealing blouse who got raped was asking for it?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I'm kinda on board with you. But can you distinguish between the above paragraph and saying that a woman who was wearing a short skirt and a revealing blouse who got raped was asking for it?

That was what I thought her next paragraph would be in any post, frankly.

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I'm kinda on board with you. But can you distinguish between the above paragraph and saying that a woman who was wearing a short skirt and a revealing blouse who got raped was asking for it?

Hijack/
What about looking, is that ok? If a man or a woman wear a specific cut of clothing JUST to highlight and show off their "asset's" is it fair to say that they shouldn't get offended or embarrassed if people look?

[lucgreek]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I'm kinda on board with you. But can you distinguish between the above paragraph and saying that a woman who was wearing a short skirt and a revealing blouse who got raped was asking for it?

That's a little extreme (and unfair) comparison.

If I go to a Tea Party meeting wearing a pro-choice shirt, I'm not doing anything wrong per-say, but I'm definitely asking for trouble. If someone does something to me physically, obviously they are wrong. But it doesn't mean I'm completely innocent for going somewhere to get a reaction out of people.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by lucgreek

That's a little extreme (and unfair) comparison.

It's not that far, especially when you consider that it's all too often that rumors fly around that such-and-such a fraternity is full of rapists (or worse, a rape actually occurs).

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by lucgreek

That's a little extreme (and unfair) comparison.

If I go to a Tea Party meeting wearing a pro-choice shirt, I'm not doing anything wrong per-say, but I'm definitely asking for trouble. If someone does something to me physically, obviously they are wrong. But it doesn't mean I'm completely innocent for going somewhere to get a reaction out of people.

Fair enough...it's just that in this case he should have had the expectation he'd be kicked out of the party. He shouldn't have expected homophobic name calling and physical assault.

PiKA...I'll get flack for this, but on the rare occasion I go out and wear something that showcases my boobs, I'm doing it to get attention. And I'm not going to act like I'm not. So if a guy looks, fine. The only problem comes from the ones that don't know they're supposed to stop at looking. Looking? Fine, I put them out there. Asking to buy me a drink with a cheesy line? Skeeves me out but ok. (Though I never drink it unless I can watch the bartender making it and it gets passed straight to me) Asking me super personal questions about my sex life, or even trying to touch? I go make friends with the bouncer. (And I have had to do that, which is why I usually am pretty covered up unless I'm going out in my current small college town...not worth the risk of attracting super creepers).

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by lucgreek

If I go to a Tea Party meeting wearing a pro-choice shirt, I'm not doing anything wrong per-say, but I'm definitely asking for trouble. If someone does something to me physically, obviously they are wrong. But it doesn't mean I'm completely innocent for going somewhere to get a reaction out of people.

Is this really comparable?

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I'm kinda on board with you. But can you distinguish between the above paragraph and saying that a woman who was wearing a short skirt and a revealing blouse who got raped was asking for it?

Others have answered what I would say, but since you asked me directly I'll give you my answer.

No, she was not asking for it. But her behavior and how she may have presented herself while wearing the said attire may not gain her a whole lot of sympathy. It is still wrong / illegal that she got raped, yes. But using good judgment she should not go into a situation where that might happen.

If she was just walking down the street and was attacked, she is morally and legally right.

If she went to a party with people she did not know, got isht-faced drunk and passed out,then woke up a realized she was raped,then yes, she should still press charges and those guilty should be prosecuted. But, in the end she made a bad choice that left her in that position.

All I'm saying is that given the circumstance / situation - use good judgment!!!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Others have answered what I would say, but since you asked me directly I'll give you my answer.

No, she was not asking for it. But her behavior and how she may have presented herself while wearing the said attire may not gain her a whole lot of sympathy. It is still wrong / illegal that she got raped, yes. But using good judgment she should not go into a situation where that might happen.

If she was just walking down the street and was attacked, she is morally and legally right.

If she went to a party with people she did not know, got isht-faced drunk and passed out,then woke up a realized she was raped,then yes, she should still press charges and those guilty should be prosecuted. But, in the end she made a bad choice that left her in that position.

All I'm saying is that given the circumstance / situation - use good judgment!!!

No.

She is never responsible for being raped.

Never.

NEVER FUCKING EVER.

The "sympathy" she gets should NEVER be based on what she was wearing and where she was. What the fucking hell.