Recruitment at a small Alabama School

Rock1t · #1 09-07-2009, 01:17 PM

I have been lurking these forums and reading stories into the wee hours for the past week because my sister was going through recruitment at her school. I'm going to tell you the story of her journey through recruitment because I'm a little confused (as well as she) by the outcome!

We can call her Liza
There are four sororities at her school:
A
B
C
D

First Night:
Liza visited all 4 houses.
At A she already knew some girls from high school and really liked this house. She had also heard alot about them from other people and thought their sorority was on she would want to be apart of.

When she visited B she didn't know anything about the girls or their sisterhood and immediately felt comfortable and made good conversation with her assigned active. this one just jumped to the top of her list for now.

When she visited C, the active she was placed with was colder than ica and she had to make all the conversation while the active kept looking at her watch because she "had others places to be". She was more than displeased with the girls at this house and could not see herself here.

Before she went into D she had already heard many negative things about the girls but went in with a clear and open mind. These girls were the most welcoming by far! She really clicked with them and thy were sweet to her as she was with them. While she didn't really fit with them, she did enjoy their company. (The other PNM's were being snoody and holding up their noses at this party.... This is NOT how my sister would ever act)

That night she had to rank her top 3 and drop 1.
1. A
2. B
3. C
Drop D

Day 2

Liza could be invited back to 3 and got A, B, D. She was fine with that. C was no place for her.

She thoroughly enjoyed all 3 houses this night but didn't really care for D's philanthropy. She once again was nice to the girls of D, but knew this was not a place for her. Many of her friends who were invited back to D the 2nd night were upset and went to all their party's except that one. Liza was a little confused by this because she didn't dislike them that MUCH, she just could never see herself there.

A and B were pretty even after this night because she enjoyed both skits and philanthropy (as well as the girls) .

Ranking
1. A
2. B
Drop D

Day 3
Out of 12 girls in Liza's Gamma Chi group it's down to 7. For pref night she was invited back to A and D. Her favorite and least favorite.
She was ok with this because she knew A was right for her.

For pref night, she teared up at A because they threw pearls into a fountain with their paired active and were told it represented their purity and would get it back tomorrow at Bid day! She couldn't wait!!

At D, she was with only a handful of girls and was very uncomfortable. She told her Gamma Chi the situation she was in with D and her Gamma Chi told her to be honest with D and tell them she has interest elsewhere. So Liza told the active she was with that while she thought they were sweet, she had her heart elsewhere. The girls were sad but made sure they had each others phone numbers and parted ways.

She ranked
1. A
2. D

On bid day she was very happy they way things went last night because she knew that if she got a bid it would only be from A....

lo and behold she got the envelope and it was D! She was pretty upset and left the student center. All in all out of 12 girls in her Gamma Chi group, she was one of 4 to get a bid.

I understand it's a mutual process... but she knew the first night D was wrong for her and ranked it lowest every night. Something just doesn't make sense to me. She's fine with the way things unfolded and has moved on while I cannot.

KSUViolet06 · #2 09-07-2009, 01:28 PM

A couple of thoughts:

There is no guarantee that a PNM is going to get her first choice.

When you rank after Pref and submit a Pref card, you are essentially agreeing that you would accept a bid from EITHER of your choices.

If she was not interested in D, and knew that she'd rather not be Greek than be in D, she should have left them off of her list.

I know that alot of schools tell PNMs not to do that, but it is ok to do it if you know that you are not going to take a bid from your 2nd choice.

Also, alot of PNMs think that by ranking a chapter low, it means they shouldn't have to return to them. All you're doing is ranking them, which means they can and will show up on your schedule everyday. You're not choosing not to go back to them (if that makes any sense).

In any event, I know you say that you can't "move on" but it's probably best that you should. If she's ok, let it go.

FSUZeta · #3 09-07-2009, 01:40 PM

did she accept her bid and attend bid day activities?

KSUViolet06 · #4 09-07-2009, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

did she accept her bid and attend bid day activities?

I'm assuming she did not, if she freaked out and left the building...

Rock1t · #5 09-07-2009, 01:52 PM

No, she was upset and left the student center. I wish she had know more about the voting situation though. That might have helped her out a little. But I will say that the school she attends is UNA. But I do not wish to release the key for the sororities.

KSUViolet06 · #6 09-07-2009, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock1t

No, she was upset and left the student center. I wish she had know more about the voting situation though. That might have helped her out a little. But I will say that the school she attends is UNA. But I do not wish to release the key for the sororities.

FYI:

The membership selection/voting process of each sorority is considered private. Only initiated members are privy to how it works. Therefore, there's no way she could "know more" about it.

Bid matching is a more public process though and it sounds as if your sister simply was not high enough on A's list to receive a bid from them.

angels&angles · #7 09-07-2009, 02:12 PM

Did she accept the bid or decide not to go greek?

Although she told the girls of D that she was interested in another place (which I think was very classy of her, and a good way to handle the situation), unfortunately bid lists are a LIST. The girls of D probably did take what she said into consideration, and put her low on the list, but it sounds like they got all the way to the bottom of their bid lists.

Just as you're never guaranteed to get a bid from a group, if you're at their pref you're also not guaranteed NOT to get a bid from them. If you're there you're on their list, but you don't know where. Just the way it is.

Rock1t · #8 09-07-2009, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

FYI:

The membership selection/voting process of each sorority is considered private. Only initiated members are privy to how it works. Therefore, there's no way she could "know more" about it.

Oh! I'm not talking about the sorority voting. I'm referring to where you said she didn't have to rank both after Pref night. I wish she could have known that in hindsight.
She didn't accept the bid.

KSUViolet06 · #9 09-07-2009, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock1t

Oh! I'm not talking about the sorority voting. I'm referring to where you said she didn't have to rank both after Pref night. I wish she could have known that in hindsight.
She didn't accept the bid.

Oh ok. I wasn't sure what you were refering to.

But no, PNMs do not HAVE to rank both. It is in their best interest to do so if they are willing to accept a bid from either chapter. However, if they know that they would rather not be in a sorority at all that be in their 2nd choice, they shouldn't list it.

pam713 · #10 09-07-2009, 02:40 PM

My alumni group supports a struggling chapter at UNA and I'm guessing that this is chapter D. It may be too late, if your sister has already declined her bid, but "Chapter D" is really a great group of girls. The bond between these girls is really strong; they seem to have a real support system and have really been working hard to turn this chapter around. If you have been lurking on Greek Chat then I know you have seen countless stories of girls who stuck it out and grew to love their chapter. I hope your sister can give them a chance. After all, they are the ones who liked her enough to offer her a bid.

jamalter · #11 09-07-2009, 02:43 PM

Interesting that she dropped D right off the bat when you already said that the girls were welcoming, sweet and she clicked with them, while at C they were cold as ice and she couldn't see herself there. What's up with that?

Buttonz · #12 09-07-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamalter

Interesting that she dropped D right off the bat when you already said that the girls were welcoming, sweet and she clicked with them, while at C they were cold as ice and she couldn't see herself there. What's up with that?

I'm assuming tent talk. It sucks big time but it happens. I didn't get that either.

groovypq · #13 09-07-2009, 03:13 PM

^^^I didn't get it either. It's a shame if she *did* let tent talk influence her so.

AOII Angel · #14 09-07-2009, 03:52 PM

It's a shame that she dropped D without even giving it a chance. I looked to see who was on UNA's campus. All 4 sororities are wonderful organizations. This struggling chapter will hopefully pull itself together...and certainly could if PNMs would accept their bids instead of dismissing them out of hand! I don't know which chapter D is, but all of these chapters have wonderful (Inter)National traditions that she will miss out on. Recruitment is rough sometimes, but although your sister is feeling rejected unfairly, she just did the same thing the Chapter D.

unarose · #15 09-07-2009, 04:54 PM

As a student at UNA (but not a member of any of our four Panhellenic organizations), I'm pretty sure I can guess who A was - and I can give you my honest opinion that if D is also who I think it is based on other comments (if it is indeed the struggling chapter), I'm actually not surprised that this happened.

If I know who A is (my guess is pretty much based on what you reported their pref night thing being and me connecting symbols that are public knowledge with that), then recruitment for that particular group is always extremely competitive. I would almost go so far as to say that the group might be considered by quite a few here on campus to be the top group, due to their reputation, involvement, and record as far as things like spirit competitions and that sort of thing goes.

I would actually advise her, if she really wants to be a part of A, to perhaps go through recruitment here again next year, and keep getting to know girls in each group for the rest of this year. But I recommend doing it again because typically there are a few quota spots reserved specifically for non-freshmen (of course, I'm assuming your sister IS a freshman, which she may well not be), and it might actually work out in her favor.

If you feel like discussing anything more, but you don't feel comfortable doing it directly on the forum, you can feel free to PM me. I know plenty of girls in each of our four groups, even went to high school with some and are involved in different things on campus with them, so I've got a pretty good view of things for a Panhellenic GDI.