Question for parents, parents to be, and parent want to be's.....

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by kstar

You're saying that it wouldn't be utterly devastating for your child to turn their back on every value that you hold dear?

You're generalizing quite a bit - just because someone is a member of a political party doesn't mean that they ascribe to every value of that party's platform.
For example, I'm a Republican who also happens to be pro-choice and anti-death penalty. I know Democrats who are pro-death penalty and/or anti-gay marriage.

You may want to be more open-minded on things - life isn't so black and white, especially when it comes to politics.

It would be more devastating for me to hear that a parent would essentially disown their child for joining the "wrong" party.

[Scandia]

My parents and I are all Republicans. But they voted YES on 2 (the FL equivalent of 8), while I gave it a big fat NO. They are very conservative (though my mother did want Hillary to win), while I am a moderate.

Anyhow, my worst nightmare for a child of mine would be that he or she were to get into an accident or suffer an illness that would severely impair his/her quality of life and would prevent him/her from being independent and doing things he/she enjoys. Second worst would be that they would get into severe trouble with the law- first degree murder or the sort- that would be against the values I worked so hard to instill.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

my parents are christian, so if i asked them, the worst news they could get would be that one of our souls weren't saved and we were going to hell.

I get the feeling this is what kstar thinks is what would happen if one of her kids changed political parties than the one she raised them with. Otherwise, why be so devastated?

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I get the feeling this is what kstar thinks is what would happen if one of her kids changed political parties than the one she raised them with. Otherwise, why be so devastated?

Well it would be bad knowing your child is not a believer but, you shouldnt love them any less or treat them differently. The choice to accept Christ is theirs alone. You may force someone to go to church, "stongly encourage" them to get baptized and what not, but you cant force anyone to accept Christ. They have to make that decision on their own and and in the meantime you can pray about it.

Besides, why disown your child or anyone for that matter over that? I dont think that is leading/witnessing by example. A love for your child should be UNCONDITIONAL!!

[Tippiechick]

KSTAR, I have told you to stop pm'ing me. I don't really care you if have "asked me to be polite." Truth is, I don't have to be polite. Just like you didn't have to get your panties in such a wad just because I disagreed with you.

Now, if you have something to say, feel free to address those concerns in here. But, I don't hide behind PMs and I encourage you to do the same.

[kstar]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

KSTAR, I have told you to stop pm'ing me. I don't really care you if have "asked me to be polite." Truth is, I don't have to be polite. Just like you didn't have to get your panties in such a wad just because I disagreed with you.

Now, if you have something to say, feel free to address those concerns in here. But, I don't hide behind PMs and I encourage you to do the same.

I keep PMing you because you persist in taking the thread off topic. I don't care that you don't agree with me, as I said, most people don't. I do expect you to be civil. That said, if you don't like the PMs ignore them don't continue to take the thread off topic.

BOTH PMED AND POSTED FOR YOUR WISHES.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by kstar

I keep PMing you because you persist in taking the thread off topic. I don't care that you don't agree with me, as I said, most people don't. I do expect you to be civil. That said, if you don't like the PMs ignore them don't continue to take the thread off topic.

BOTH PMED AND POSTED FOR YOUR WISHES.

Funny. I don't recall having to live up to YOUR expectations. And, you don't get to tell me to stop posting in a thread.

Stop pming me. You are becoming a fucking stalker.

STOP harassing me through constant pms in retribution for posting my opinions in this thread. You don't have the right to tell me not to post.

[kstar]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Funny. I don't recall having to live up to YOUR expectations. And, you don't get to tell me to stop posting in a thread.

Stop pming me. You are becoming a fucking stalker.

STOP harassing me through constant pms in retribution for posting my opinions in this thread. You don't have the right to tell me not to post.

I didn't harrass you, I explained my opinion in a PM to keep the thread on topic. You haven't posted anything of substance, just rude messages.

I didn't tell you not to post, I just replied in a way to keep the thread on topic, which you obviously cannot seem to do.

BTW, Replying to statements that you make does not make me a stalker, I thought you wanted discourse? I just prefer to keep the off topic discourse in a PM.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by kstar

I didn't harrass you, I explained my opinion in a PM to keep the thread on topic. You haven't posted anything of substance, just rude messages.

I didn't tell you not to post, I just replied in a way to keep the thread on topic, which you obviously cannot seem to do.

BTW, Replying to statements that you make does not make me a stalker, I thought you wanted discourse? I just prefer to keep the off topic discourse in a PM.

UMMM, when I ask you three times to stop sending me private messages and you tell me you will stop IF I stop replying to you in a thread, THAT is harassment.

You are not a mod. You don't get to tell ANYONE to keep ANY thread on-topic.

No, REPLYING to threads doesn't make you a stalker... Constantly pming someone after every new post they make that you don't like makes you stalkerish.

And anyone who would rather have their child DIE than to hold values that go against the values THEY wanted their child to have IS COMPLETELY PSYCHO.

THAT, MY DEAR, IS AN ATTACK.

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Anyhow, my worst nightmare for a child of mine would be that he or she were to get into an accident or suffer an illness that would severely impair his/her quality of life and would prevent him/her from being independent and doing things he/she enjoys. Second worst would be that they would get into severe trouble with the law- first degree murder or the sort- that would be against the values I worked so hard to instill.

I totally agree with this....

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

...just because someone is a member of a political party doesn't mean that they ascribe to every value of that party's platform.

[Scandia]

I agree with KSigKid and Christiangirl. I do not agree with every value the Republican Party espouses. But I agree with more Republican ones than Democratic ones. Hence I'm a proud elephant.

[gee_ess]

I think the most interesting thing about this thread is that most people feel that the worst thing to happen would be a child who is injured, dying, suffering, etc. This, imo, is the sign of a true parent - that you are worried most about your child's wellbeing rather than your own welfare.

Putting a child's needs first is an indicator of a true parent. The poster(s) whose answers reflected the predominant concern with the parent's wellbeing, i.e. being disappointed in a child because of a decision he made, - is an indicator that the poster is not really thinking about the child but about herself.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Scandia

I agree with KSigKid and Christiangirl. I do not agree with every value the Republican Party espouses. But I agree with more Republican ones than Democratic ones. Hence I'm a proud elephant.

hijack

Okay, I'm completely off topic, but this reminds me of a quote I saw on an acquaintance's facebook:

"Democrats clearly have more fun. I mean, who's ever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

/end hijack

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by kstar

See above. "I have casual acquaintances, like school/work friends, that don't agree with me, but no, I don't really want to have close friends that don't share my values. Is that really that hard to understand?"

I'm late getting back to the party, but yeah, I find that pretty hard to understand. And pretty close-minded.

And grief counseling can do a world of good, but this is something that I don't think I could get over and respect them as a person again.

In my opinion, the parent who cannot respect his or her child when the child does something like a 180 on the parent's political beliefs probably doesn't deserve the child's respect.

Just an FYI -- I've known too many parents who have lost a child, and to a person, they've said it's something you never get it over. Ever. You get grief counseling, you do support groups, you learn to cope, but you never get over it. You miss that child every day for the rest of your own life. And you regret that you let stupid things that seemed so important at the time get in the way of your relationship with your child. Having children of my own, I don't doubt for a second that they're telling it like it is.

Any good parent knows early on that the kids will make choices that mom and dad don't agree with. Some of them will be minor choices (that awful haircut), some will be big. Maybe REALLY BIG. And good parents constantly tell their children, through word and deed, "there is nothing you can ever do that will make me stop loving you." They mean it and they do their best, however hard that might be, to live it.