How can I up my chances

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by vandycandy

The only reason I want ABC is because I have a lot in common with the girls I have met and like their philanthropy, social events etc. The girls there have a more similar background to mine than others at my school. I like DEF because they are slightly different from the other sororities- the girls here seem really fun-loving, friendy, and not afraid to be themselves. Plus, their executive board are all really active in the club I work with a lot so I know we have things in common!

So you've met a few girls in two sororities and really like them. You haven't met all the members. Who's to say you'll like them all? Who's to say you won't have a ton of things in common with members of the other sororities? Or you won't like another philanthropy, social events, etc just as much if not more? Point being, it can be a mistake to make any initial judgements beforehand. Give every chapter an opportunity to impress you and you them.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Zillini

So you've met a few girls in two sororities and really like them. You haven't met all the members. Who's to say you'll like them all? Who's to say you won't have a ton of things in common with members of the other sororities? Or you won't like another philanthropy, social events, etc just as much if not more? Point being, it can be a mistake to make any initial judgements beforehand. Give every chapter an opportunity to impress you and you them.

I second that.

I have read A LOT of recruitment stories on this board, and I have listened to a lot of recruitment experiences from friends, and there are numerous reasons why a potential new member’s opinions have changed about a chapter (from both negative opinions to positive ones, and vice versa), including:

- A sister they talked to one day was amazing, a sister they talked to another day was boring
- They didn’t like their house
- They loved their house and thought that the sorority clearly took pride in it
- The national philanthropy is something the PNM is already involved in
- The philanthropy project they did at the recruitment party was juvenile
- They found out that their arch-nemesis is in that sorority
- The sorority’s skit was outstanding and the sisters put a lot of thought into it
- The sorority’s preference party was meaningful and emotional
- The sisters ignored her and she was left standing by herself for some of the recruitment event
- The sorority has a full social calendar, including mixers with all of the fraternities
- The sorority doesn't have many social activities planned and instead participates in more philanthropies
- The topic of conversation was all about parties/boys/drinking
- The topic of conversation was all about something the she and the sister had in common
- There was no topic of conversation and things became awkward
- The chapter is involved in a rivalry with another sorority on campus
- She sees a sister hitting on her boyfriend at a party
- She sees a sister helping another sister with her homework
- For the most part, collectively, the sisters have completely different interests than her
- A sister talked about another sorority in a negative way
- A sister asked her what her opinions were of the other sororities so far
- A sister said, “I hope to see you again soon!”
- etc., etc., etc.

For the most part, these are things that you can't read about on a website or hear about from other potential new members going through recruitment.

For all of these reasons (and more) you might find that you absolutely love ABC, that you absolutely love a chapter other than ABC, that you absolutely hate ABC, or that you love 3 different chapters, get invited to all three for their preference parties, and can’t decide which one to rank first.

The point is, even if everyone else is telling you, “You’d be perfect for ABC or DEF,” it doesn’t mean that you are. You still know very little about these two chapters, and it sounds as if you know next to nothing about the other ones. Only you can decide which sorority is best for you. Don’t just “go in with an open mind”, go in knowing that anything could happen.

[LadyLonghorn]

Yet her greekchat profile still reads:

Interests:
Parties, The SEC, raging, the usual

Uh . . . alrighty then.

[APhiAnna]

Just be aware that ABC and DEF are likely two sororities that EVERY freshman is obsessed with and convinced that they have a shot at. Best case scenario? You end up in one of those two. But the danger of deferred rush, especially at a school like Vandy where everybody has a good GPA and is involved on campus, is that most of your peers likely are trying to work their way into the same two sororities. Look around at ALL the houses and try to see the best in them. Your competition will likely be stiff. We can't tell you what those sororities want.

[honeychile]

vandycandy, please do not take this personally, but if you really want to up your chances:

1) Change your user profile.
2) Delete 99% of your current posts in this thread. The very sisters you want to impress may be reading this and shaking their heads.
3) Work on your GPA, so you can really shine next term.

Good luck!

[gtdxeric]

Kind of off topic, but what does "hooking up" actually mean? I've heard people say it encompasses anything from kissing on up, and other people say it's just a polite way of saying "having sex". Thoughts?

[WinniBug]

Originally Posted by OTW

Be very careful with the drinking as well, especially if you're an underage freshman.

You might end up getting picked up by my hubby or one of his buddies in their nifty black and white Chargers

[When Doves Cry]

Originally Posted by gtdxeric

Kind of off topic, but what does "hooking up" actually mean? I've heard people say it encompasses anything from kissing on up, and other people say it's just a polite way of saying "having sex". Thoughts?

from what I hear:
in high school, it was just making out & other stuff (which can include sex)
in college, it's sex. making out is baby stuff

[angels&angles]

on hooking up:
around here (VA), it can include just making out, but it usually means more. For me, it's the move. Like, if a girl is hitting it off with someone and they go to his or her room (or anywhere, really), then it's hooking up (even if they just make out, for whatever reason). If they just make out on a couch and then don't go anywhere, that doesn't really count.

But that's just how I see it (because my friends and I don't have a lot of sex, but we do still "hook up"). I think "Hooking up" is most often anything in between makeout and sex.

[MTSUGURL]

Can I be real honest? I'm imagining you're saying yes because i'm just gonna be. I could ask just a couple of vague questions and know who you are if I net you during recruitment. I know we keep saying "discretion!" but it cannot be over emphasized. Not many girls are above hooking up with a few guys, or even talking about said hookups with friends. However, I would be cautious and quiet with that area of my social life until recruitment is all done. People talk.

[FSUZeta]

i always thought hooking up was having random sex; with a guy that you just met that night; someone you have not dated.

vandycandy, it sounds like you may have stepped a little out of bounds for someone who will be rushing winter semester, but it is just past midterm right now, so if you start laying low (unless you made a huge spectacle of yourself at a party or elsewhere in public) you will probably be alright. just wait to go out and party after recruitment.

double standard it might be, but that is the way it works.

[KSUViolet06]

I agree with what's been posted here, lay low with hook ups and partying. I hope you saw my list of things that could go wrong with that!

I know you probably think that partying with the sorority you like is going to help your chances, but it could end up doing just the opposite.

Also consider the fact that if ABC is a "popular" chapter on campus, I can pretty much guarantee you that every other freshman girl you meet who is rushing "thinks she'd fit in well with ABC" or "has friends in ABC."

Also be aware that opinions will change so much during recruitment. You may feel like you really like ABC now, but come recruitment, there will be others that you'll find yourself interested in as well.

[APhiAnna]

One of my friends went to a school with deferred rush and was the "total package" so to speak...looks, grades, personality, GPA, recs, all that. The most competitive sorority on her campus was obsessed with her and dirty rushed her to no end. They would always call her up to party with the sisters, bid promised, all that good stuff. They were fighting the other sororities away to try to get this girl.

Guess what? One night she got wasted with the sisters as usual...but this time she made-out with a sister's crush (she didn't even know the sister was interested in this guy!). No sex, just making out at a public party. Whoops. Anyways the sister flipped out and got in a huge fight with her. Not only did that chapter stop calling her, but other chapters took a step back. She was dropped first night by this chapter and some of the other competitive ones that had been seeking her out.

Moral of the story? Even if they are throwing booze and guys at you, tread with caution...don't be the "party pooper" but be very much aware that so much can go wrong even when so much is "going right".

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

Guess what? One night she got wasted with the sisters as usual...but this time she made-out with a sister's crush (she didn't even know the sister was interested in this guy!). No sex, just making out at a public party. Whoops. Anyways the sister flipped out and got in a huge fight with her. Not only did that chapter stop calling her, but other chapters took a step back. She was dropped first night by this chapter and some of the other competitive ones that had been seeking her out.

Moral of the story? Even if they are throwing booze and guys at you, tread with caution...don't be the "party pooper" but be very much aware that so much can go wrong even when so much is "going right".

Amen. I don't go to a deferred school, but I have seen the same things happen with girls. Girls can be catty/dramatic, and even moreso when drinking and boys are involved.

It doesn't take much either. You're out with the ABCs, and a guy that Ashley ABC really likes dances with you and you talk to him. Problem. You may not even know that she likes him, but it's still drama enough for her to decide she doesn't want you in ABC.

Or you're both drunk and you accidentally spill your drink on an ABCs shirt. It's not like you're sober and it's no big deal, but you're drunk so there's potential for "OMG my shirt is wet and I'm drunk and dramatic!" to get started. That's the worst because it doesn't make any sense, but it's still drama enough for one of them to think twice about you during recruitment.

Or one time you guys go out and YOU just happen to get more drunk than the other girls and you maybe do/say something dumb. Or you get wasted and puke in one of their cars or in their apt./dorm. Again, it might not seem like a big deal, but that's enough to make one of them think "do we really want this girl?"

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Again, it might not seem like a big deal, but that's enough to make one of them think "do we really want this girl?"

True...let's face it, we all had those nights that, if it had happened before recruitment, would have made our sisters think that. But it IS a balance between "not partying" and not being seen as anti-social. Don't be "that girl", and watch what parties you attend, but make sure you are seen as social in other ways. Nobody wants the "lush who makes out with anybody in sight and wears a sequined tube top everynight" girl, but they probably don't want "shut-in-room watching old Mary Kate & Ashley videos and devouring Ben & Jerry's every night while her dormmates are having fun" girl either. Not that Mary Kate & Ashley aren't awesome, but you catch my drift.