I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

oh i know it's totally different outside campus, I live on the other side of the city where it's Black/Latino and it is entirely different where you see no interracial dating going on.

There are middle class Latinas on campus, but not as many as Black Middle Class women.

Well, these women should be as class conscious as these black men are, anyway. So find a black man of a higher SES and move on.

[teena]

I admit, way back, I used to take issue with black men who dated non black women. My life experience has made me much more tolerant for a number of reasons. But the one I like the most is that 99.9999999 times out of 100, a black man who denigrates black women, he has a gang of head issues and I dont want to be bothered with him anyway.

I may be naive, but I dont thing that most black women object to interacial love. I think what many black women object to is being disrespected when black men choose to date outside of the race.

[starang21]

i get stares.

go white girls!!!!!

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

These are people on a college campus. They are judging based on that campus bubble. I doubt those collegiates have a grasp of the totality of the matter.

The bubble is a non issue to me. Unfortunately these men graduate or leave college and bring that mentality to their jobs/careers furthering some of the institutionalized bigotry and racism in that "good ole boys club/network"...

How different is it when a young college teenaged Black male says generalizations like these versus late 20's/early 30's college educated Black male who says it that is likely pursue marriage/longterm relationship?

I tell you what, I would not want to seriously date, leading to a longterm relationship with someone thinking that mentality no matter what age he is...

Originally Posted by teena

But the one I like the most is that 99.9999999 times out of 100, a black man who denigrates black women, he has a gang of head issues and I dont want to be bothered with him anyway.

Now that is what I am saying. The brotherman who has decided to date seriously my EX-sister in law said some crap like this to my Ex-SIL... I think she was taken aback with his comment enough to tell my mother--her former MIL...

Originally Posted by teena

I may be naive, but I dont thing that most black women object to interacial love. I think what many black women object to is being disrespected when black men choose to date outside of the race.

Sadly, these same men do not think they are disrespecting Black women by their choices. Or rather, they plainly do not care. While I understand your point, I would like to add a clarification: It is NOT the disrespect of choices of who a Black man dates that a sistah has issues with; it is the further demonizing, denigration, beatdown, browbeating, belittling and outright discriminatory practices that Black men do against the Black woman--the same woman who bore Black men in her womb and exited her vaginal canal to enter this realm of the Earth that I have problem with...

Hayle, Black women could choose to abort Black male fetuses, because we decide to buy into the craziness that the stats are far against him? Albeit, it does not seem to be the case. With one full swoop, Sistahs can take out an entire Universe of Black men... That is a power very few recognize--like a 5%'er... Sometimes that thought is a revelation and sometimes it is a burden. Like Assata Shakur.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

The bubble is a non issue to me. Unfortunately these men graduate or leave college and bring that mentality to their jobs/careers furthering some of the institutionalized bigotry and racism in that "good ole boys club/network"...

How different is it when a young college teenaged Black male says generalizations like these versus late 20's/early 30's college educated Black male who says it that is likely pursue marriage/longterm relationship?

I tell you what, I would not want to seriously date, leading to a longterm relationship with someone thinking that mentality no matter what age he is..

I am responding to your comment about being able to find black women of a similar background. These men are using the campus as their pool of potentials. So, whether or not there are black women who share their experiences off campus isn't what they are considering in that context. And whether or not they don't connect with black women when they graduate is unpredictable. People relate to and date what they are exposed to and their campus is what they're exposed to right now. And I don't think those men (based on what Totally Wicked said) are saying that Latina women are necessarily better than black women beyond the similar background (which doesn't seem like such a compliment, really) thing.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

I am responding to your comment about being able to find black women of a similar background. These men are using the campus as their pool of potentials. So, whether or not there are black women who share their experiences off campus isn't what they are considering in that context. And whether or not they don't connect with black women when they graduate is unpredictable. People relate to and date what they are exposed to and their campus is what they're exposed to right now. And I don't think those men (based on what Totally Wicked said) are saying that Latina women are necessarily better than black women beyond the similar background (which doesn't seem like such a compliment, really) thing.

Well I interpreted Totally Wicked's comment to state that Black men are saying they cannot find Black women with similar upbringing as theirs on a college campus that they can date. So, they date "other women" because that is similar to their upbringing as theirs. What I am saying that these men are full of shit, regardless to make a blanket statement. And if they start when their young and not be held accountable for their thoughts, then how will they be any different as they age?

Ignorance breed contempt... And is not always bliss--in fact it might get you killed. One less person contributing to the gene pool...

What is sad is it is justifies a Black man's choice to be anything other than he wants to date {insert ethnic group here}. I don't think anyone is saying here they have issues with personal choices. Hayle a man can date a goat for all I care, but to say that Black women stink worse than goats, well...

I agree, it is not much of a compliment, though... And it is said that these ladies are buying that bullcrap these kind of bruhs are "rappin'" to them... Like Reefer and Liquor...

[TotallyWicked]

Well, from what folks have told me (Black men and Latinas that date one another), is that they do go with one another because of similar backgrounds...SES speaking, but I DO find it interesting, as some couple friends of mine are from areas of the country that are highly racially homogenous and/or segregated.

For example, a couple friend of mine is composed of a Mexican American woman from Los Angeles and an African American man from Detroit. Both have told me they were raised in low income neighborhoods and that they also were raised in neighborhoods and attended public schools of which their racial/ethnic group was either the majority or the entire make up of the school. Thus, coming to college was their first exposure to mass diversity (my school is located on the 2nd most diverse neighborhood in the nation).

Now there are several ways to look at this:
1) they are going for the first person who is unlike them racially/ethnically because of their past experiences
2) they are embracing the diversity of the neighborhood (reaching I know ) 3) They grew up not wanting to be with someone of their racial/ethnic group

and various more...in the long run, I am hoping that my friends are aware of the consequences and possible reactions of people...some of my other friends really go all out to say "Yeah, we're dating and you can't do anything about it!"....I'm like ok..pass the salt LOL

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

Thus, coming to college was their first exposure to mass diversity (my school is located on the 2nd most diverse neighborhood in the nation).

Now there are several ways to look at this:
1) they are going for the first person who is unlike them racially/ethnically because of their past experiences
2) they are embracing the diversity of the neighborhood (reaching I know )
3) They grew up not wanting to be with someone of their racial/ethnic group

and various more...in the long run, I am hoping that my friends are aware of the consequences and possible reactions of people...some of my other friends really go all out to say "Yeah, we're dating and you can't do anything about it!"....I'm like ok..pass the salt LOL

How come these friends of yours just cannot say to folks that saw each other and fell in love? Or like, whatever, they found uniqueness between each other that they decided to date. Cool Beans, whatever...

But to say, Black women aren't ______________. Well, that just sucks.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

Well, from what folks have told me (Black men and Latinas that date one another), is that they do go with one another because of similar backgrounds...

numerically, this doesn't compute.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by PrettyInPink777

Well, no. You don't 'have' to be clueless... you are determined to be clueless. ..... which negates your earlier posts that seemed to seek understanding. What a waste of time.

I was trying to get understanding, but I still don't understand why it's an issue if they're attracted to each other and really like each other. That's why I said I guess I'll go on clueless. I'm sorry, but I don't see why it's a problem.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I was trying to get understanding.

but you said you didn't want to read the books.

[Little32]

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

[PrettyInPink777]

Originally Posted by Little32

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

Exactly my point, soror.

Cheerful Greek, it's not a problem at all.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

So the black women are overwhelmingly middle class and the nonblack Latina women are overwhelmingly not middle class? It's an interesting contextual divide there. That's an example of how campuses are often bubbles where dynamics can be found that won't be found in the general population.

More power to them.

That was pretty much the situation at college for me...unless they were from South America, or Cubans from Miami, the Latinas tended to be urban working-class, whereas the black women were majority middle to upper-middle class. But, my undergrad is not like most colleges!

----------

Back on topic, I will say that, as a black female, I don't understand why black women feel so disrespected about interracial romances. I just don't! There have been black guys that I was interested in, who started dating white women. Was it a reflection on me and what I lack? Hell no!

I thought it was a trite stereotype, but between reading this thread and the Harold Ford stuff on blacksocialite, it still comes as a suprise to me. I have an aunt who used to really bitch and moan about black men dating outside their race, until my cousin brought home a half-Asian woman...and then she got real sweet once grandkids started coming. She's a bitter lonely bitch anyway, so I figured it was just her. But no!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Well I interpreted Totally Wicked's comment to state that Black men are saying they cannot find Black women with similar upbringing as theirs on a college campus that they can date. So, they date "other women" because that is similar to their upbringing as theirs. What I am saying that these men are full of shit, regardless to make a blanket statement. And if they start when their young and not be held accountable for their thoughts, then how will they be any different as they age?

Ignorance breed contempt... And is not always bliss--in fact it might get you killed. One less person contributing to the gene pool...

What is sad is it is justifies a Black man's choice to be anything other than he wants to date {insert ethnic group here}. I don't think anyone is saying here they have issues with personal choices. Hayle a man can date a goat for all I care, but to say that Black women stink worse than goats, well...

Well, hopefully and chances are, this is just because of that campus climate and they haven't "sold their souls." Out of that campus climate, they would be more able to find black women of their social class and experience background. Maybe.

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I agree, it is not much of a compliment, though... And it is said that these ladies are buying that bullcrap these kind of bruhs are "rappin'" to them... Like Reefer and Liquor...

"Well, well, well...the gang's all here...bring out the 40's."
~Shelby ~The Best Man~