Sexual orientation and MS

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

And then there are guys who aren't confused at all and just don't want or need for you to know.

And to take it a step farther, why should any of us need to know?

Someone's sexual orientation is his or her business, not mine.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

And then there are guys who aren't confused at all and just don't want or need for you to know.

I guess I can respond to you and Delt.

That's a tough subject. I would want to know if a gay man were in my fraternity. Simple as that. I'm perfectly comfortable saying that I wouldn't want to live with one, especially in my room at the fraternity house. I don't agree with it, and I think it would be a bad situation. Other's most definitely feel the same way. If I was living with a guy who hid it from me and then I found out about it later, or walked in on him and some dude.........we would be having a serious problem. People are free to make their own decisions about their sexuality, none of my business. I am extremely against it and overall pretty much disgusted by it, but it's still their choice. In a fraternity/fraternity house setting, I think they should let people know.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by macallan25

I get what you are saying, but come on. How do you know "there are" gays in his chapter? That's ridiculous. If you told me that to my face.......I'd argue with you to no end. I mean, are you not practically saying there are gay men in every chapter that none of us "know about yet"? I may be stereotyping and just going off common traits......but I don't find it that difficult to spot a gay man or a guy that is extremely confused with his sexuality. To me, they stick out like a sore thumb.

You're back! I'm so glad, I missed you!

[SWTXBelle]

I have a sister who I highly suspect is gay. But it really never was an issue - hey, your sex life is your business, not mine. She is a whole person, not her sexual orientation. Were she to tell me she is gay, it really wouldn't make any difference to how I feel about her. The vows we took bind us as sisters - she is my sister, no matter who she loves romantically.
Back to the original question - Gamma Phi Beta has never had discriminatory membership clauses. I don't see any need to add to what has worked for us for 130+ years. Every chapter is free to select members as long as they meet our membership standards - none of which concern sexuality.

[RU OX Alum]

i would be upset if a brother was gay and didn't tell anyone. Being open is cool, but there are not supposed to be secrets between brothers.

[Low C Sharp]

To me, they stick out like a sore thumb.

Well, the ones that you notice stick out like sore thumbs.

But how would you know whether there are substantial numbers of gay men in your state who can "pass"? Unless they come out to you -- and based on what you've said, they would have to be crazy to come out to you -- how would you ever know? Only those of us they come out to privately realize just how prevalent they are, even in the most conservative churches, towns, and schools.

I won't go so far as to say that there are definitely gay men in your chapter, because I don't know how big your chapter is or whether you are so openly hostile that private gay men choose to stay away. But I feel very comfortable saying that you know gay men who you do not know are gay. The more traditional your social circle is, the more certain I am of that.

And to take it a step farther, why should any of us need to know?

Well, I certainly hope that my close friends would trust me enough to tell me. I understand why it might take time, but I need my friends to have faith in me in order to have a true and deep friendship.
________
GLASS BUBBLERS

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

i would be upset if a brother was gay and didn't tell anyone. Being open is cool, but there are not supposed to be secrets between brothers.

Maybe, but in the real world there are always secrets between brothers, sisters, siblings, married couples, parents and children, etc.

I think a persons sexual orientation is important to the person and his or her partner (or potential partner) and nobody else.

[Tom Earp]

We had a gay Brother who I was not aware him being gay until after he had graduated. I was an Alum of course.

But he was one of the hardest working Brothers in the Chapter. We still stay in touch as he is still my Fraternal Brother amd a good friend.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Well, the ones that you notice stick out like sore thumbs.

But how would you know whether there are substantial numbers of gay men in your state who can "pass"? Unless they come out to you -- and based on what you've said, they would have to be crazy to come out to you -- how would you ever know? Only those of us they come out to privately realize just how prevalent they are, even in the most conservative churches, towns, and schools.

I won't go so far as to say that there are definitely gay men in your chapter, because I don't know how big your chapter is or whether you are so openly hostile that private gay men choose to stay away. But I feel very comfortable saying that you know gay men who you do not know are gay. The more traditional your social circle is, the more certain I am of that.

You know, I just really have to disagree with you. I may know of some people that might be, but they aren't people that I would consider close. Close friends, ( quite a few of them) I don't have a doubt in my mind.

.........and I do know gay men who.........are gay. Haha.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

Maybe, but in the real world there are always secrets between brothers, sisters, siblings, married couples, parents and children, etc.

I think a persons sexual orientation is important to the person and his or her partner (or potential partner) and nobody else.

I just find it hard to believe that you wouldn't be the least bit irritated if you lived with a guy who didn't tell you he was gay...........and then you had to find out about it randomly.

Maybe you would, but it seems like you wouldn't have a problem with it.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by macallan25

I just find it hard to believe that you wouldn't be the least bit irritated if you lived with a guy who didn't tell you he was gay...........and then you had to find out about it randomly.

Why? You can't catch it by breathing the same air. And if you didn't know, then he obviously was not displaying the "behaviors" you find disgusting.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Why? You can't catch it by breathing the same air. And if you didn't know, then he obviously was not displaying the "behaviors" you find disgusting.

Yes......but If I walked in to my room and he was banging his friend Chuck.....he would be displaying the "behaviors I find disgusting."

....and yes, I know I can't catch gay. But I could catch a glimpse of him being gay relatively close to my parameter, which wouldn't fly. Sorry, I have a dislike of all things gay for several reason. I would have a major problem with a roommate who hid something like that from me and the other men in the house.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by macallan25

Yes......but If I walked in to my room and he was banging his friend Chuck.....he would be displaying the "behaviors I find disgusting."

....and yes, I know I can't catch gay. But I could catch a glimpse of him being gay relatively close to my parameter, which wouldn't fly. Sorry, I have a dislike of all things gay for several reason. I would have a major problem with a roommate who hid something like that from me and the other men in the house.

I understand what you are saying, but your statement was if you didn't know and heard it somewhere else. That would imply, to me, that he wouldn't be banging Chuck in your room. He would be discreet enough that you had to hear it elsewhere. That's the point I was addressing.

Very honestly, I would hope that you wouldn't walk in on a hetero roommate banging Charlene. In both cases those are inappropriate behaviors regardless.

[Little32]

^^I had a friend in college whose roommate used to have sex with his girlfriend while he was in the room. Blech! That is disgusting behavior regardless of the gender of the partner.

[Senusret I]

I mean.....shit happens when you're 19 and it's 3am.... and your boo is lookin right....



You gotta listen for your roommate breathing patterns.... if he snores, screw some more!