Can Men and Women Be Truly Just Friends?

[southernelle25]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

...those of us who don't feel the need to date or have sex with everything that expresses interest in us are able to keep friendships platonic ....

'Xactly.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well, some women are desperate and have low expectations.

But your question is like asking "can human beings walk down a crowded street without finding at least ONE person physically attractive?" Sure, it's possible to NOT but if the other person is physically attractive and you notice that person, you're usually going to find that person physically attractive. Unless you know too much about that person and the thought of physical attractiveness just makes you sick.

But finding someone attractive doesn't mean you'll want to hump that person. I have longterm male friends who find me attractive but have never made a move. They they me that they've said to themselves "oh, that's just DSTChaos...we're like brother and sister" or "we're homies so I wouldn't want to confuse things."

Yeah, I see your point, but they still want you, and given the opportunity they wouldn't turn you away.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

You ever seen that deformed monster thingie from the Goonies?

You ain't right.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by delph998

WOW! I'd love to see this Pretty Boy!

LOL. Seriously, I have never had a female friend that didn't want more from me. I don't know why. Maybe it's my personality. I mean, I don't look at myself in the mirror and say "Damn I look good". Women tell me that.

[laylo]

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by laylo

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

You hit it right on the nose. I wouldn't get serious with a babe who had male friends. It just causes too many problems.

[SexualChocolate]

Originally Posted by laylo

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

Yup, I'm guiltly of this kind of behavior.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LOL. Seriously, I have never had a female friend that didn't want more from me. I don't know why. Maybe it's my personality. I mean, I don't look at myself in the mirror and say "Damn I look good". Women tell me that.

Okay, Pretty Boy! I guess I believe you.

I think that men and women can truly be just friends; however in most cases, one person likes the other.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yeah, I see your point, but they still want you, and given the opportunity they wouldn't turn you away.

"Want" makes it seem like a persistent longing. Maybe it's just a passing level of attraction. It depends on the people and the level of interaction.

No one is obsessively beautiful and sexually attractive to everyone.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

You hit it right on the nose. I wouldn't get serious with a babe who had male friends. It just causes too many problems.

Well you will be missing out on a lot of good women then.

But maybe women won't want to be with you because you call them "babe."

[MsFoxyLoxy77]

I came across this quote and it made me think of this thread:

Definition of "Just Friends": It means I don't just want you to mourn the loss; I want to remind you of it every day. I want you to suffer. I want you to envy. I want you to die slowly, a bit at a time. And I want you to smile and thank me for it.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well you will be missing out on a lot of good women then.

But maybe women won't want to be with you because you call them "babe."

I love it!

On a serious note, my father tells me all of the time that I have too many male friends and that may prohibit me from being in a relationship. I've cut a lot of these friends down over time.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by delph998

On a serious note, my father tells me all of the time that I have too many male friends and that may prohibit me from being in a relationship. I've cut a lot of these friends down over time.

Only for insecure men unless you are spending way too much time with other men.

I was raised mostly around males and almost all of my life most of my friends have been male. I also have friends who are women, because I don't believe that women are catty or difficult to get along with, but just not as many female friends as I have male friends. I make sure that these male friendships are platonic (even if there WAS some attraction at sometime) and we don't blur the lines in our words and interactions. So there's never a question.

If you cut down on these male friends make that be a choice YOU make because YOU no longer need them in your life. Unless you and your man are going to be picking each other's friends and he's not going to have any female friends.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Only for insecure men unless you are spending way too much time with other men.

I was raised mostly around males and almost all of my life most of my friends have been male. I also have friends who are women, because I don't believe that women are catty or difficult to get along with, but just not as many female friends as I have male friends. I make sure that these male friendships are platonic (even if there WAS some attraction at sometime) and we don't blur the lines in our words and interactions. So there's never a question.

If you cut down on these male friends make that be a choice YOU make because YOU no longer need them in your life. Unless you and your man are going to be picking each other's friends and he's not going to have any female friends.

Girl, you're speaking that knowledge! This is true. A lot of these friends did/do like me and I don't feel the same way, so I know that I needed to move on with life. But your comments were very accurate. I do have males friends that are permanent male friends...the significant other will have to understand that.

[hellocutie]

A question for everyone in response to this quote.

I do have males friends that are permanent male friends...the significant other will have to understand that.

Do you think that you would change your relationship with your opposite sex friend in anyway while you have a significant other?