Eliminating Bigs and Littles? - Page 2

aopirose · #16 10-02-2006, 10:59 AM

Another reason that I have heard mentioned for getting rid of the Big Sis/Lil Sis program doesn’t have anything to do with cliques. It has to do with spending. Some Bigs are in a position to go overboard spoiling their Littles with elaborate gifts. (I’m talking spending in excess of $1000.) That’s all well and good but it makes some initiates less inclined to be a Big if they cannot provide what others may be expecting. Setting spending limits per event does help to even things out but things can still get out of hand. A good solution that I have come across is that all Little Sister gifts are purchased and handed out by the chapter. An additional and more personal gift may be given for initiation but there is a spending cap. I believe that it can be a valuable program and affordability needn’t be a factor.

adpiucf · #17 10-02-2006, 11:07 AM

On paper it sounds like a great idea to refocus programs with the intention of eliminating cliques. In reality, it is human nature to bond with others and that is why cliques form within cliques.

Heck, isn't that why we join sororities? Looking for a place to belong? And within that place to belong, you'll find another subset-- a clique.

ADPi's Diamond Sister program was formed with this intention. On paper, the Delta (initiated sister) sponsors the Alpha (new member) through her new member period as a personal mentor and guide to acclimate her to Greek Life and serve as her sponsor through ritual. All new member gifts, on paper, are to be budgeted through the chapter so that more women can serve in this sponsor role without assuming a financial burden. On paper, there are no "families" and the Diamond Sister relationship formally concludes with initiation.

It sounds great on paper, but in reality, ADPi's want Bigs and Littles like every other sorority. So you'll hear collegians referring to their sponsors as their "Big" or their "Big Diamond," there will be family cliques with "Grandlils" or "Grand Diamonds," and in my chapter there were even "adopted Diamonds" or "Cubic Zirconias" (if you ever see an ADPi sign a letter "CZ Love," they're adopted! LOL).

The Pride Program is a great concept-- rotating small groups to help members get to know one another better, serve on committees and support the chapter (IE. XYZ Pride takes on Task A, ABC Pride takes on Task B, etc...), but it's another system that really doesn't work well in practice when you have members who are already overprogrammed enough as it is with school, sorority and life. Getting together as a pride to bake cookies is sometimes just one more activity that can't be crammed in there-- it's like setting up a playgroup!

I think they're all great ideas on paper, but the execution needs to continue to evolve. I've no doubt it will.

Sororities need to continue their sponsor sister programs, but there should be more emphasis made on gift giving coming from the chapter and not the individual's pocket.

ETA: My chapter had a rule that any gift giving outside of a note or something small like a bag of candy or a little stuffed animal had to be given off sorority property. I think this helped discourage "keeping up with the Jones'" and getting carried away with gift-giving so that one new member didn't feel like she got stiffed in comparison to another. I think it was a good idea and that the alumnae directors who supervise sorority programming should continue keeping an eye on budgets and being mindful of the tradition of gift-giving. New member sponsors aren't going anywhere anytime soon: they have been an integral part of the new member period for far too long to disappear in a hurry.

33girl · #18 10-02-2006, 11:16 AM

I completely agree with a spending cap on things for littles. It's not supposed to be about presents, it's supposed to be about the relationship.

AlphaFrog · #19 10-02-2006, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I completely agree with a spending cap on things for littles. It's not supposed to be about presents, it's supposed to be about the relationship.

We not only had caps...we had specified items that the bigs purchased/made for littles. I think it was good, because no one felt left out because their big didn't get them as much as someone else's big.

violetpretty · #20 10-02-2006, 11:29 AM

My Sigma Kappa family is very close, and it would be a shame for others to miss out on this experience. In addition to big/little, new members have heart sisters (like a bid day buddy, often someone they met during recruitment), Senior Shadows (so that Seniors aren't put on a pedestal), and some chapters even have recent alumnae mentors. At our last formal, our seniors had sisters (non-Seniors) read them letters saying good bye to them at formal.

I would have to agree with 33girl, that large chapters are inevitably going to get cliquey. I personally think that the answer is more mentoring programs instead of fewer, because new members branch out to more women in the chapter. If there were no big-little programs, I think that sororities would only get cliquier (is that a word?) because they'd be more divided by new member class since they aren't branching out to the rest of the chapter.

Emory Kappa · #21 10-02-2006, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I believe KKG eliminated it, realized it was a horrible idea, and brought it back.

Around '98-'99 Kappa introduced Kore Groups, which are structured more like a family than a big sis- little sis relationship. Though I'm not involved on the chapter side, I believe there is still a similar type of organization in place.

DreamfulSpirit · #22 10-02-2006, 11:47 AM

I loved doing the big/little in OPA. Its a great way to really become close to at least one person in the sorority. I loved my big sister, we made starbucks dates before my pledge meetings so she would help me study for my pledge quizzes. I can't imagine never having a big/lil sister program!

I'm trying to start an OPA colony/chapter here at the school I just transferred too, and my organization makes it so that the girls who are the founding sisters get big sisters too, they just come from nearby chapters! Then those big sisters usually come to the chapter initiation ceremony!.

PeppyGPhiB · #23 10-02-2006, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I remember hearing from my school's Greek Advisor that there were a few NPCs that decided to completely eliminate these types of mentoring programs from their chapters because of some of the issues they can cause within a chapter (i.e. with selection and such). And no, I'm not talking about restructuring it into something different like (for example) ADPi has done with the Diamond thing. I mean not allowing these types of things at all.

Has anyone's HQ actually done this, or am I just hearing things?

Are you sure he/she wasn't talking about auxiliary groups like fraternity Little Sisters? I think most NPC orgs. have come out and said that they do not sanction them...because they're called "little sisters" it sometimes gets confused with the intrasorority li'l sis programs.

_Lisa_ · #24 10-02-2006, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessSigKap

In addition to big/little, new members have heart sisters (like a bid day buddy, often someone they met during recruitment), Senior Shadows (so that Seniors aren't put on a pedestal), and some chapters even have recent alumnae mentors.

I am just as close to my heart sister as I am to my big & my twiddle. I didn't have a Senior Shadow, but I love that idea.

KSUViolet06 · #25 10-02-2006, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Are you sure he/she wasn't talking about auxiliary groups like fraternity Little Sisters? I think most NPC orgs. have come out and said that they do not sanction them...because they're called "little sisters" it sometimes gets confused with the intrasorority li'l sis programs.

No she was discussing Big Sis/Little Sis within the sorority. The selection of bigs caused some serious drama in a chapter on my campus, so that's how it started.

ISUKappa · #26 10-02-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emory Kappa

Around '98-'99 Kappa introduced Kore Groups, which are structured more like a family than a big sis- little sis relationship. Though I'm not involved on the chapter side, I believe there is still a similar type of organization in place.

There is still somewhat of a big/little type relationship called Key Sisters where a sophomore or junior is paired with a New Member, but it's not nearly as exclusive as the big/little relationships previously tended to be. They also have Kore groups where (ideally) a Senior, Junior and Sophomore are matched with a New Member and serve as her mentors and "family" throughout the New Member program and even her first year. If the chapter is a larger chapter, the Kore groups can help lessen the intimidation a New Member may be feeling and help increase sisterhood within the chapter.

The Fraternity also recently reconstructed the New Member program to allow chapters more flexibility with the utilization of Kore groups. Previously, the Kore groups were to be rearranged every semester. I don't believe they require that any more.

I think chapters are still adjusting to the New Member program, and it will take a few more years before it is as effective as it could be.

Drolefille · #27 10-02-2006, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Lisa_

I am just as close to my heart sister as I am to my big & my twiddle. I didn't have a Senior Shadow, but I love that idea.

wait, you only have 1 heart sister? We had one a week until initiation.

FSUZeta · #28 10-02-2006, 05:29 PM

it seems to me that the chapter drama on jocelyn's campus should be dealt with as an internal problem, not a panhellenic problem, and should be handled internally, or at the most by their national office.

tunatartare · #29 10-02-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

it seems to me that the chapter drama on jocelyn's campus should be dealt with as an internal problem, not a panhellenic problem, and should be handled internally, or at the most by their national office.

I agree. I can't picture a fraternity/sorority that doesn't have some sort of a big/little program. Heck, at my college sports teams had bigs and littles. Freshman year, two girls on my floor was on the crew team and the night before a big match, they got posters on their doors that said "good luck! love your Big" and stuff like that. I believe that the soccer team has them as well.

SoCalGirl · #30 10-02-2006, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

wait, you only have 1 heart sister? We had one a week until initiation.

We had Heart Sis, Big Sis, and Violet Sis. I was closest to my Violet Sis's. I had one as a pledge and then had two as an Active.

I think I've also heard of Dove Sis's but not sure how they work.

When I was a collegiate my chapter had Sigma Sister of the Week. Each week you were randomly paired with another sister. At the next meeting the girls would brag about what they did with each other that week. The girls with the best activity/story won a prize.

With Big/Lil gifts my chapter always had a list of what the gifts were to be and also a budget. I always ended up over budget. There was one family that always seemed to have the sisters that could spend $2 on something but it would look like a million bucks because they were creative. So it's not always about money.