WTF she joined my sorority?!

sdsuchelle · #1 10-06-2006, 05:12 AM

Okay, so I was wondering.. has anyone ever had someone you LOATHE join your org (either at your school or another)? How did you deal with it?

My ex and I dated for 4 years, until he cheated on me with this girl who is now a freshman in college. She is pretty much the reason we don't really talk anymore -- she won't let him call me, he denies my comments on myspace because "she might see them", etc. Basically she is a psycho.

Anyway, he just joined Sigma Nu, and one of her best friends joined ADPi. I am really worried that she'll rush too.

Is it irrational or mean of me to freak out with the thought that she might rush ADPi? She goes to a different school than I do.

Seriously I don't think I could handle it.

#2 10-06-2006, 07:00 AM

Thankfully I've never had that feeling within my own chapter.

A few years later, however, I had to bang my head on a wall...and wonder "WTF was that chapter thinking?"

And that's all I shall say.

sdsuchelle · #3 10-06-2006, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

Thankfully I've never had that feeling within my own chapter.

A few years later, however, I had to bang my head on a wall...and wonder "WTF was that chapter thinking?"

And that's all I shall say.

If she did rush.. would it be really dirty/wrong of me to write the chapter a letter about her?

I mean, it's not ONLY a personal vendetta, but she uses drugs and drinks quite heavily.

Oh, and part of me thinks she would join ADPi partially to piss me off.

Senusret I · #4 10-06-2006, 08:25 AM

You could ignore it. I mean, she hasn't said she definitely plans to rush, so there's no reason to worry.

However....if she does rush, I think I would make a phone call to the chapter rather that write a letter. You tell them what you know about the girl (as far as her moral reputation) and then leave it alone. If she makes it, that's between her and the chapter and you will have done your part to make them aware.

But here's a warning....you will seem like the bitter ex even if you pursue this just a little bit. If you can live with that, have at it.

_Lisa_ · #5 10-06-2006, 08:30 AM

I think that writing a letter about a personal grudge might only make you look petty to the chapter sisters, but an informative letter about her undesirable habits could get your point across just fine.

PhoenixAzul · #6 10-06-2006, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Lisa_

I think that writing a letter about a personal grudge might only make you look petty to the chapter sisters, but an infomative letter about her undesirable habits could get your point across just fine.

As long as you are 100% SURE about her drink/drug habits. If you heard this through a friend of a friend of a friend...that's not so reliable. It's a pretty big accusation to make, even if it is *just* sorority recruitment. Keep in mind that people read/see those letters, so word will spread around the campus she lives on. If untrue, you can land in a world of crap.

And I agree with those who said mention the undesireable traits, but leave boyfriend out of it.

FSUZeta · #7 10-06-2006, 08:27 AM

it would not be out of line to let the chapter know that this young woman would be a risk management risk, should she decide to go thru recruitment. i would try to keep any personal animosity out of the letter. i think it might come off as "she stole my boyfriend, blah, blah, blah" otherwise and might not hold as much weight.

if you know other adpi's who know this girl and could verify the risk management problems, i would ask them to write a "no rec." also.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #8 10-06-2006, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

If she did rush.. would it be really dirty/wrong of me to write the chapter a letter about her?

I mean, it's not ONLY a personal vendetta, but she uses drugs and drinks quite heavily.

Oh, and part of me thinks she would join ADPi partially to piss me off.

If you have concrete reasons that she is not ADPi material then yes you whould write a letter to the chapter. I would.

ZTAngel · #9 10-06-2006, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

Okay, so I was wondering.. has anyone ever had someone you LOATHE join your org (either at your school or another)?

There's some GCers that fall in that category. And I'm going to leave it at that.

BabyBlue91 · #10 10-06-2006, 01:49 PM

I had a girl who I knew in grammar and high school (I was not her biggest fan) get made at, of all places, our sorority's Alpha Chapter (Howard University).

My line sister's now ex-husband's then ex-girlfriend (confused?

) submitted her letter about a year after we crossed. She did not get beyond the interview stage.

indygphib · #11 10-06-2006, 05:20 PM

If she is a risk management issue, then definitely let the chapter know.

kdonline · #12 10-06-2006, 05:42 PM

I don't think you'd seem bitter to NOT recommend her at all. You know her personally - that's what recommending (or NOT) someone for membership is all about.

Save the chapter from any potential drama / damage to their reputation.

texas*princess · #13 10-06-2006, 08:16 PM

As your fellow sister (

) I think if this woman is indeed a risk management issue (which it definitely sounds like she is), the chapter in question should definitely be alerted of this.

The fact that she's also one of those psycho girls (which it definitely sounds like she is) is also not something you would want associated with your sorority. If she obsessively calls every girl who talks to your ex, every person in school will know her as "that girl" who also happens to be an ADPi.

As horrible as it is, 1 person can label an entire chapter because of the actions of one girl (or guy in a fraternity's case), and call me crazy, but I don't think the "psycho druggie" sorority is a very desired label :P

#14 10-10-2006, 12:33 AM

Let's put things into perspective... Does she holds the values of your sisterhoood? Do you think she will appreciate that you will not oppose to having her in your house? Is there any possibility you will bump into her? Do you really think "he" is worth it? Do your really think their values in their relationship are stronger than your values and your house's values?

Move On! Enjoy your ADPi life in college. Perhaps, she is not even thinking about you know. Does she likes to stalk? Don't hesitate to put a restraining order, they are for "psychos".

SigKapSweetie · #15 10-10-2006, 01:54 PM

I would no-rec her. If she never rushes, the chapter never has to use it. If she does, you'll save them from whatever drama she might have caused as a member, and you'll never have to deal with having your sorority represented by someone whose moral character you question. If there's a Sigma Kappa chapter there and you've got friends in it, I wouldn't mind you letting them know, either.