Phi Sigma Kappa brothers urge "Don't feed the sorority girls"

[DeltaBetaBaby]

http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinio...heyre-eating2/

From the article:

Tonight there was a pack of “bros” all wearing their frat T-shirts, as per usual. As I was resting between sets of decline flyes, I spotted a shirt that said, on the front, “Please don’t feed the sorority girls.” And on the back, “Campus Beautification” and the Greek letters Phi Sigma Kappa. My empty stomach dropped. I unconsciously glanced at myself in the mirror and I fought the urge to cry.

Classy, guys, classy.

[adpiucf]

Although the shirts are in poor taste and present the fraternity in a negative light, I find it somewhat humorous that a law student (the writer of this op/ed) is essentially calling for a ban on offensive speech (this clothing) or to ban men from the gym during certain hours. Moreover, the shirt reads, "Don't feed the sorority girls." The writer never opines she is in a sorority; rather that she is a second year law student. The message is not intended for her, and yet she is triggered. I'm offended by a lot of things, but I don't expect the world to revolve around me. She can work out at another gym if she dislikes the patrons at her current gym.

I am not condoning the message of the shirts. The fraternity was stupid to print these shirts up with their letters in the first place. I'm pretty sure that these shirts won't earn them any points with the sororities they are seeking to court for social events. According to the comments following the op/ed, there are about 20 guys in this fraternity. Not a smart PR move for them no matter how you slice it, and I have no doubt their advisers or nationals will be on their case about it after this article makes the rounds.

[33girl]

The fact that she uses the word "bros" in a disparaging manner and refers to them as a pack (equating them to animals) makes her no better than the guys in the t-shirts.

[PSKsilver]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Although the shirts are in poor taste and present the fraternity in a negative light, I find it somewhat humorous that a law student (the writer of this op/ed) is essentially calling for a ban on offensive speech (this clothing) or to ban men from the gym during certain hours. Moreover, the shirt reads, "Don't feed the sorority girls." The writer never opines she is in a sorority; rather that she is a second year law student. The message is not intended for her, and yet she is triggered. I'm offended by a lot of things, but I don't expect the world to revolve around me. She can work out at another gym if she dislikes the patrons at her current gym.

I am not condoning the message of the shirts. The fraternity was stupid to print these shirts up with their letters in the first place. I'm pretty sure that these shirts won't earn them any points with the sororities they are seeking to court for social events. According to the comments following the op/ed, there are about 20 guys in this fraternity. Not a smart PR move for them no matter how you slice it, and I have no doubt their advisers or nationals will be on their case about it after this article makes the rounds.

I think it was more the the whole "Don't feed" message triggered her response. It reminded her of her EDNOS. Didn't matter who the target was.

Besides that, I totally agree with everything that's been said here. The author, while understandably shook up and angry, overreacted a bit.

First, I wished she didn't group the whole organization of Phi Sigma Kappa into this in the title. Maybe mention the school chapter of PSK, but not all of us. That's too much.

Second, from what I understand, a small group of men had these t-shirts. Ok, you're pissed. Have women only hours so YOU feel better? No. You're punishing every man for the actions of some. You described the usual men as " perfectly pleasant," yet you don't want them at the gym anymore at certain times because a couple of guys ".

I understand that she might have had difficulties with her disorder, and she is recovering from it, and I do not defend the actions of my brothers. However, this is not the right way to go, banning everything to make a person feel better.

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting just a little as well.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PSKsilver

IFirst, I wished she didn't group the whole organization of Phi Sigma Kappa into this in the title. Maybe mention the school chapter of PSK, but not all of us. That's too much.

People who write articles like this usually don't understand the difference, and don't care to figure it out or be informed.

[DubaiSis]

If I were to have seen this, I think my response would be sad rather than offended. It is a tragic statement that the future leaders of our country would think this was 1-funny 2-acceptable social behavior and 3-something worthy of paying actual time and money to print on t-shirts that will some day end up in a goodwill bin.

I think it's less about banning speech as much as wishing so much better of them. That you CAN make a piggish statement like this doesn't mean you should, or especially that they apparently didn't know they were doing something embarrassing for themselves. A girl who would be personally hurt by this needs to grow a backbone and never EVER date one of these guys. I'd probably do my best to get the other sororities on campus to show their appreciation for the t-shirts by not participating in any events with them for about a year or so. Or forever. Say it if you want, but understand there are consequences to your behavior.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

If I were to have seen this, I think my response would be sad rather than offended. It is a tragic statement that the future leaders of our country would think this was 1-funny 2-acceptable social behavior and 3-something worthy of paying actual time and money to print on t-shirts that will some day end up in a goodwill bin.

I think it's less about banning speech as much as wishing so much better of them. That you CAN make a piggish statement like this doesn't mean you should, or especially that they apparently didn't know they were doing something embarrassing for themselves. A girl who would be personally hurt by this needs to grow a backbone and never EVER date one of these guys. I'd probably do my best to get the other sororities on campus to show their appreciation for the t-shirts by not participating in any events with them for about a year or so. Or forever. Say it if you want, but understand there are consequences to your behavior.

I agree with this completely. I wouldn't necessarily be offended (all of us as sorority women learn not to listen to the ignorant comments and ridiculous stereotypes), but I would try to make these guys realize that what they did was just plain dumb. The sororities should subtly let them know that by joining together and cutting this fraternity chapter out of their social plans.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I agree that the op-ed is a bit of a mess. But the t-shirts are dumb and offensive, and to wear one years after your chapter has gotten in trouble for/apologized for it is really dumb.

[Missouri.girl]

To anyone who feels she shouldn't have been personally offended:
You obviously haven't ever had an eating disorder, which I hope you never do. However, you cannot then understand how harmful something like this can be.

[adpiucf]

That's a ridiculous statement. That's like saying you can never know true love until you have given birth to a child. False. We can appreciate the harm of a trigger without having an eating disorder.

She has every right to be offended, but she has no right to ask the university gym to have female-only hours or for her university to inhibit free speech. And by announcing her feelings in an op/ed, she opens herself to be criticized. I am criticizing her, not for her eating disorder or feeling triggered, but for the fact that she's a second year law student who obviously hasn't been paying attention in class.

Lots of people have triggers. Recovering alcoholics avoid bars for this reason. She can go to a different gym and she can go to therapy and continue to work on herself. The world is not going to stop to accommodate her.

Again, the fraternity members wearing these shirts are misogynist pigs who deserve to be shunned by the sororities, but I support their right to wear whatever they please.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Again, the fraternity members wearing these shirts are misogynist pigs who deserve to be shunned by the sororities, but I support their right to wear whatever they please.

This.

I don't see it being just about eating disorders. It has to do with societal values. And I don't want to go into a huge rant, but it irks me to no end that women are always first judged by appearance, then by who they are. Even at the inauguration, there was so much talk about what the FLOTUS and her daughters were WEARING. Which designer made their coats?? Who cares??? I really like and admire Michelle Obama but I'd like and admire her if she didn't have great arms and if she didn't dress sharply. I like and admire her because she's a very intelligent, warm and seemingly compassionate woman. Anybody know who designed the suit the President wore? NO. Anybody pay any males attention on the red carpet?? NO. And we do it to ourselves too. We are incredibly judgmental of each other.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AGDee

This.

I don't see it being just about eating disorders. It has to do with societal values. And I don't want to go into a huge rant, but it irks me to no end that women are always first judged by appearance, then by who they are. Even at the inauguration, there was so much talk about what the FLOTUS and her daughters were WEARING. Which designer made their coats?? Who cares??? I really like and admire Michelle Obama but I'd like and admire her if she didn't have great arms and if she didn't dress sharply. I like and admire her because she's a very intelligent, warm and seemingly compassionate woman. Anybody know who designed the suit the President wore? NO. Anybody pay any males attention on the red carpet?? NO. And we do it to ourselves too. We are incredibly judgmental of each other.

I know what suit POTUS wore! It was Brooks Brothers--just like almost every other President since BB was founded.

While I do agree that women are judged first by appearance, and it can be very problematic, in the cases you mentioned, it's more finance-based. There's a LOT of money to be made in women's fashion--apparently the sales of the J.Crew and Kate Spade coats Sasha and Malia wore skyrocketed. Even a relatively inexpensive dress from Zara sold like hotcakes once Kate Middleton wore it. I think that the emphasis on women's fashion is more marketing than anything else. Women will buy something if they like it on a public figure...men, not as much.

Back to the OP--the writer was, in my opinion, overreacting. Let's face it--triggers are everywhere for everybody. Part of recovery, whether it's from an ED, mental illness, or even a death in the family, is becoming resilient to MOST triggers. It seems like the author of the post may have a long way to go.

Also, I didn't even know women's only hours were a thing at college gyms. Is it to protect ED patients, or for Muslim or married Orthodox Jewish women who can't have their hair uncovered when men are around?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I know what suit POTUS wore! It was Brooks Brothers--just like almost every other President since BB was founded.

While I do agree that women are judged first by appearance, and it can be very problematic, in the cases you mentioned, it's more finance-based. There's a LOT of money to be made in women's fashion--apparently the sales of the J.Crew and Kate Spade coats Sasha and Malia wore skyrocketed. Even a relatively inexpensive dress from Zara sold like hotcakes once Kate Middleton wore it. I think that the emphasis on women's fashion is more marketing than anything else. Women will buy something if they like it on a public figure...men, not as much.

Back to the OP--the writer was, in my opinion, overreacting. Let's face it--triggers are everywhere for everybody. Part of recovery, whether it's from an ED, mental illness, or even a death in the family, is becoming resilient to MOST triggers. It seems like the author of the post may have a long way to go.

Also, I didn't even know women's only hours were a thing at college gyms. Is it to protect ED patients, or for Muslim or married Orthodox Jewish women who can't have their hair uncovered when men are around?

I absolutely agree. This poor woman apparently is still suffering greatly from her disorder, as she recounted in the article. She still counts calories religiously and is very sensitive to these stimuli. I hope she is still receiving treatment so that she can withstand the multitude of triggers that bombard modern women in our daily lives. Speaking out about the t-shirt may be a good sign for her, though, rather than internalizing those feelings and hurting herself with more poor eating behaviors. It's a continuum. Maybe her next step will be to let it go.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Also, I didn't even know women's only hours were a thing at college gyms. Is it to protect ED patients, or for Muslim or married Orthodox Jewish women who can't have their hair uncovered when men are around?

The bolded would make more sense. I can't imagine having to work out with your head covered. Sweat city!!!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Also, I didn't even know women's only hours were a thing at college gyms. Is it to protect ED patients, or for Muslim or married Orthodox Jewish women who can't have their hair uncovered when men are around?

Some women are just more comfortable working out without men around for a variety of reasons. The gym can be a hotbed for "street harassment"--it's like getting catcalled when you walk around or take public transit, but there is no escape route if you are mid-workout. Even if it's not so aggressive, the success of places like Curves shows us that self-consciousness is a serious problem in encouraging women to work out.

Whether or not it's the place of a university to accommodate these women is an open question in my mind, but certainly the demand is there.