Non-Greek Pinning an AOII?

[SP123]

Hello All!

I graduated a few years ago, and my girlfriend of just about 3 years is finishing up her senior year -- she's an AOII. She has talked a lot in the past about girls that have gotten "pinned" by their boyfriends, how sweet it is, and how she wishes that it could happen to her.

Our 3 year anniversary is coming up in just a couple weeks, and I will be visiting her, and was thinking about the idea of pinning her. I know nothing about the process, or whether non-greeks are even allowed to do it (or how we would do it, if allowed) and I'm looking for a little advice. A google search told me that it certainly has happened before, but I am wondering whether any of you have seen it, and what an AOII would think of it. Thoughts?

If it seems like something that could be appropriate, I'll approach her chapter president about the idea, and see what she says.

I do have a pin that represents my current career, so that could be an option, right?

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by SP123

Hello All!

I graduated a few years ago, and my girlfriend of just about 3 years is finishing up her senior year -- she's an AOII. She has talked a lot in the past about girls that have gotten "pinned" by their boyfriends, how sweet it is, and how she wishes that it could happen to her.

Our 3 year anniversary is coming up in just a couple weeks, and I will be visiting her, and was thinking about the idea of pinning her. I know nothing about the process, or whether non-greeks are even allowed to do it (or how we would do it, if allowed) and I'm looking for a little advice. A google search told me that it certainly has happened before, but I am wondering whether any of you have seen it, and what an AOII would think of it. Thoughts?

If it seems like something that could be appropriate, I'll approach her chapter president about the idea, and see what she says.

I do have a pin that represents my current career, so that could be an option, right?

It doesn't necessarily matter what a certain sorority would think. It varies by campus. It would be better to talk to the President because she would (most likely) know what to do for your campus.

[SP123]

Thank you, I will send her a message.

[33girl]

You may not have to pin her with an actual pin. If you have a (non-engagement) ring, or a piece of jewelry that's a family heirloom, or something else that means a lot to you, that would work just as well. Just don't get hung up on it having to be a pin - other things can have the same meaning.

[FSUZeta]

Be a man-ask her to marry you-if she accepts, then she can have a legitimate candle pass.

[OleMissGlitter]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Be a man-ask her to marry you-if she accepts, then she can have a legitimate candle pass.

LOL

And we have some great AOII songs we can sign at her candlelight!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Be a man-ask her to marry you-if she accepts, then she can have a legitimate candle pass.

From my mind to your keyboard.

[SP123]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Be a man-ask her to marry you-if she accepts, then she can have a legitimate candle pass.

Ha! All in due time.

So what happens, then, if they let me do it? Is there a prescribed way it is supposed to work, or do I get to choose how to do it? Can anyone give me an example of how they've seen it done?

I've sent a message to her chapter president to get more specific info from what her chapter can/will do. Thanks for the advice!

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by SP123

Ha! All in due time.

So what happens, then, if they let me do it? Is there a prescribed way it is supposed to work, or do I get to choose how to do it? Can anyone give me an example of how they've seen it done?

I've sent a message to her chapter president to get more specific info from what her chapter can/will do. Thanks for the advice!

It's been three years. You should be sure enough to make the commitment by now.

IMHO pinning is a fraternity tradition and is only meaningful in that context.

An engagement ring is a totally different story.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

It's been three years. You should be sure enough to make the commitment by now.

IMHO pinning is a fraternity tradition and is only meaningful in that context.

An engagement ring is a totally different story.

But she's Greek. He wants to make a special promise to her that's short of an engagement, and he wants to do this because he knows that it would mean a lot to her as a Greek. I think to say that an independent can't do so, that he needs to barrel straight on into asking her to marry him while Alan Alpha Alumnus could just pin her, is absolutely ridiculous.

[SP123]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But she's Greek. He wants to make a special promise to her that's short of an engagement, and he wants to do this because he knows that it would mean a lot to her as a Greek.

This is really what it's about for me. It is something that she has always wished could happen, and I know that it will mean a lot to her if I can do it for her. This is about telling her, in her language, that I love her and am committed to her. And, I really like the symbolism of the pinning ritual, telling her that she comes first.

Thanks again to everyone for contributing, I really appreciate the opportunity to hear your perspectives! This post was about finding out whether this was appropriate, and so I value the comments from people that don't think it's appropriate, too.

[SP123]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

It's been three years. You should be sure enough to make the commitment by now.

Not that I really need to justify this, but here's our line of thought: neither of us want a super long engagement (more than a year), and immediately after graduation she is starting a 3 year graduate program. I can't afford a ring and a wedding right now, so we're going to wait a little longer to make that leap, mostly for logistical reasons. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with waiting longer than 3 years.

That said, thanks for your opinions on the pinning question!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by SP123

Not that I really need to justify this, but here's our line of thought: neither of us want a super long engagement (more than a year), and immediately after graduation she is starting a 3 year graduate program. I can't afford a ring and a wedding right now, so we're going to wait a little longer to make that leap, mostly for logistical reasons. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with waiting longer than 3 years.

That said, thanks for your opinions on the pinning question!

This is not specifically at you, but I've never understood why people won't get engaged until a certain time because they don't want a "long engagement". If you're planning on staying together, what difference does it make if you're in a "committed dating" or "engaged" relationship status (besides a ring and a Facebook status ). I get the wanting to save up for a superfabulous ring, but beyond that I don't get it.


I guess the opposite is true, though...if you know you're not going to be able to get married for awhile, why get engaged. In the end, to each his own, but I'd rather have the ring (well, the officially announced intention, the ring actually truly is meaningless without the intention) now than later.

[Shellfish]

I don't think this guy should mention it to the chapter president, because if the girlfriend does want to have a candlelight, then at least one person won't be surprised. Even more important: events in an adult's personal life should not be run through another person first.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by Shellfish

I don't think this guy should mention it to the chapter president, because if the girlfriend does want to have a candlelight, then at least one person won't be surprised. Even more important: events in an adult's personal life should not be run through another person first.

Huh? When we had a candle pass, we always had to tell the president first so that she knew to have one at the end of chapter. Plus we would occasionally have "surprise" candle passes where the girl didn't even know the candle was for her.