Is sex really that big of a deal?

christiangirl · #1 03-15-2007, 12:16 AM

So in less than 10 weeks, I'll be a college graduate who has been single ALL 4 YEARS. There have been plenty of jerks, loads of dogs, even the did-i-forget-to-tell-you-i'm-engaged guy. But there have been a few who I actually started to fall for. But they always ended the same: I wouldn't have sex with them, so they bailed. A couple even told me that they wanted to have sex with other people while they were with me and if I didn't agree, then they'd just cheat on me! That made it way easier, at least they were up front about it. But there were so many who saw me and were so into me. It was only because I was a 'mission' (according to some guys, I apparently have VIRGIN tattooed across my forehead). Once they realized I had no intention having sex, they all (even the genuinely nice ones) walked away. I've only found one guy who honestly doesn't mind and since I'm moving when I graduate, we're slowly weaning ourselves back to "just friends."

Is sex really such a big deal that you would pass up a good woman if you don't get it?

James · #2 03-15-2007, 01:19 AM

Isn't a relationship without sexual contact called friendship?

I am being glib, but also serious.

ΑΓΔSquirrel10 · #3 03-15-2007, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Isn't a relationship without sexual contact called friendship?

I am being glib, but also serious.

I will have to disagree. You can have a relationship with someone and not sleep with them. I personally would refuse to date a guy if he only wanted that one thing.

KSUViolet06 · #4 03-15-2007, 02:14 AM

It's not really that big of a deal for me in a relationship. I've chosen to not sleep with guys I date. I've never had a problem finding guys to date me, as long as I was honest with them about it. There were a few who didn't like the idea of not having sex, so I let them go. Eventually, I found someone who shared the same beliefs about sex. Honestly, if you don't want sex in a relationship, be honest. Sure, there will be some guys who don't want to be with you becaue of it, but that's life.

sdsuchelle · #5 03-15-2007, 02:17 AM

It's one thing if the guy wanted only sex from you, and not companionship or an eventual committed relationship. That's shady. However, if his issue was that you wouldn't have sex with him even inside a committed, serious relationship, that's different.

Personally I believe in abstaining from sex with a guy unless we're in an exclusive relationship... but I don't think I could seriously date a guy who would never have sex with me until marriage. It's just not what I want.

AKA_Monet · #6 03-15-2007, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

So in less than 10 weeks, I'll be a college graduate who has been single ALL 4 YEARS. There have been plenty of jerks, loads of dogs, even the did-i-forget-to-tell-you-i'm-engaged guy. But there have been a few who I actually started to fall for. But they always ended the same: I wouldn't have sex with them, so they bailed. A couple even told me that they wanted to have sex with other people while they were with me and if I didn't agree, then they'd just cheat on me! That made it way easier, at least they were up front about it. But there were so many who saw me and were so into me. It was only because I was a 'mission' (according to some guys, I apparently have VIRGIN tattooed across my forehead). Once they realized I had no intention having sex, they all (even the genuinely nice ones) walked away. I've only found one guy who honestly doesn't mind and since I'm moving when I graduate, we're slowly weaning ourselves back to "just friends."

Is sex really such a big deal that you would pass up a good woman if you don't get it?

You're a challenge for these fools. So how are you dating players?

Just because you have never had a "man's touch", doesn't mean you cannot learn Tantra's uses.

WVU alpha phi · #7 03-15-2007, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

It's one thing if the guy wanted only sex from you, and not companionship or an eventual committed relationship. That's shady. However, if his issue was that you wouldn't have sex with him even inside a committed, serious relationship, that's different.

Personally I believe in abstaining from sex with a guy unless we're in an exclusive relationship... but I don't think I could seriously date a guy who would never have sex with me until marriage. It's just not what I want.

Agreed.

neosoul · #8 03-15-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Just because you have never had a "man's touch", doesn't mean you cannot learn Tantra's uses.

amen...

valkyrie · #9 03-15-2007, 12:03 PM

I'm not a guy, but yes, sex is really that big of a deal.

christiangirl · #10 03-15-2007, 02:07 PM

James, I don't believe that's true, but I took a psych class about sexuality once, and out of the whole 100+ people in it, I was the only one who thought so. That's incredibly irksome, because it's like they're saying there's just no hope for me to have a post-high school relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

You're a challenge for these fools. So how are you dating players?

I don't get it. Rephrase that please, I need a break down every now and again.

mulattogyrl · #11 03-15-2007, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I'm not a guy, but yes, sex is really that big of a deal.

I'm with you on this one.

AKA_Monet · #12 03-15-2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I don't get it. Rephrase that please, I need a break down every now and again.

Sweetheart,

You said you were a virgin, right? While I do not have issues with that most men find fantasize about being the cause (spelled cost) of a lose of a woman's virginity. It is the best thing to do since sliced bread. So, he can be a 1 hit wonder and that would be your concept of sex...

So you are attracting the "players" because they think--no fathom--that they're little shriveled up vienna sausage will "teach" you about the Universe of sex. Simply because they think you are naive. Besides, the word is out on you and your choice of virginity... You are the "Holy Grail" of sexual encounters...

You can take all the Sexuality classes you like that will teach you the mechanics and psychology associated with sex. But the truest essence of your own sexual expression has to be a manifestation of your Spirit... Otherwise, you are just going through the motions and you are letting a prick pervert masterbate and defecate on you...

A avoid the shock of sex as not being what it is all cracked up to be is to meditate using the Tantra. That is just one avenue. It takes you to a higher level in your mind. It assist you developing the kind of relationship skills to surpass those of vows. It keeps you true to yourself and your mate.

My question is to you is, have you been able to seduce the man your in your dreams? Not the man of your dreams--but the man who God is leads you to? Be mindful, sometimes God has a sense of humor...

In your post, I found your tone to be one of frustration by how men treat you by the endgame. They are doing that because you cannot be swayed from your beliefs. And they are shocked. They belittle YOUR choice of chastity to divert you into something God has not asked of you, yet.

So, are you beginning to waver? Here's your deal:

You are free from sexually transmited diseases, free from the anger and humiliation of some sexual encounters, and free of thinking that you can "Sport Fcuk"...

But you are relegated to being called a prude fascist, that you have no comparisons, and an old maid and you find yourself totally alone.

I want you tell the guy you like this when he pressures you, "I am waiting for you to be multi-orgasmic so that all my chakras are enlightented and heightened"

Then you need to say to him, "Thru our minds, we can explore errogenous zones when I slip my f-i-n-g-e-r-s coursing over your heart. In this way, we build on our goal that surpasses ejaculation..."

And you haveta say that crap very sexy like...

Let us know what happens?

Whatever you decided, should you choose to have sex, have your man or men wear a condom(s). And if you don't want children, take birth control.

Your friendly neighborhood Public Health Announcement for the Year.

Kindly,

Dr. AKA_Monet
Chief of GC Hospital

AKA2D '91 · #13 03-15-2007, 10:31 PM

Onlee euw, Soror!

BlessedOne04 · #14 03-15-2007, 10:50 PM

Um yeah what AKA Monet said. Let me get my pen that is good material!!

ΑΓΔSquirrel10 · #15 03-15-2007, 11:04 PM

If you want to date a guy who's goal isn't to steal your virginity, then it will take a little work. Those guys do exist out there, but you have to look for them.