Bridesmaid Situation

[adpiucf]

I'm in a wedding in a couple of months and I'm getting a little frustrated. What other reason does a couple have a wedding (rather than elope), than to share the event with the family and friends? Which means making certain concessions for those loved ones so that they can actually attend? Right?

I have tentative dates for everything-- the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, etc., and no concrete times or places! No information has been offered despite repeated requests, or regarding reserved hotel blocks, etc. All I know is the date of the wedding (but no idea as to where and what time it begins!) and where to buy my dress. The rehearsal is being planned for a Friday and the wedding is being held on a Sunday for financial reasons, but it is turning into a larger financial burden for me than I had assumed because I have to travel from another state and no one will tell me times and places!

I have strongly considered stepping down from my duties in the bridal party and attending as a guest, but I also know that all of "our crowd" will be standing up there beside the bride and I will probably regret it. As it stands, I think it would be wise for me to skip the shower. Due to the lack of communication and despite my repeated requests (and explaining my line of reasoning to the MOH to get those dates), no decisions have been made and air travel costs get more expensive every day.

Any recommendations on preserving my sanity?