Help with a tough decision

flowerchild28 · #1 08-09-2014, 03:23 AM

Hello all, I am new to GC, this is my first post!
So, I go to a small midwest school. I rushed last winter but my sorority was shut down shortly after. I was never initiated. I felt very betrayed and hurt. I didn't know beforehand that the sorority was in any sort of trouble- neither panhel nor my school told any of us girls who were rushing. However, since I was never initiated I am allowed to rush in the fall. Here's the problem: my school is small and now only has a few sororities. I previously rushed all of them and am a legacy to one of them. I really, really, really would love to be in my legacy sorority. However, I am scared that I will be denied again. Last time I rushed, that sorority invited me back only once. I never even got to pref night for them and was heartbroken. Ever since my sorority got shut down, I have been thinking of rushing my legacy sorority. However, friends have been encouraging me to bring a new national sorority to my campus since we don't have many sororities. I have taken the initial steps for this, and can't do anything more until panhel votes on it (which they are supposed to do this fall). So, should I wait for panhel to vote and then hope I get chosen to colonize this new sorority? Or should I rush my dream legacy sorority and hope that I don't get turned down again? If I got turned down again I would be embarrassed and heartbroken, that's the only thing holding me back.

p.s. I now have a friend in the legacy sorority who said she really really wants me to be in it. However, I know that one person cannot sway an entire sorority to give me a bid.

Thank you for your time and help!

Titchou · #2 08-09-2014, 07:26 AM

First of all, you don't "rush" for a particular group. You have to go thru the process with all of them. Second, if you don't get a bid this time, you'll still have the colonization, should that happen, to go thru. I'd adjust my attitude and sign up.

Griffins&Quills · #3 08-09-2014, 09:56 AM

What comes first? Recruitment or the Panhel vote?

If recruitment comes first, go through and see what happens. If it doesn't turn out, then pursue bringing a new chapter to campus if Panhellenic votes yes (that's a big if though).

Also, try to see what you could improve this time around.

thetalady · #4 08-09-2014, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flowerchild28

Hello all, I am new to GC, this is my first post!
So, I go to a small midwest school. I rushed last winter but my sorority was shut down shortly after. I was never initiated. I felt very betrayed and hurt. I didn't know beforehand that the sorority was in any sort of trouble- neither panhel nor my school told any of us girls who were rushing. However, since I was never initiated I am allowed to rush in the fall. Here's the problem: my school is small and now only has a few sororities. I previously rushed all of them and am a legacy to one of them. I really, really, really would love to be in my legacy sorority. However, I am scared that I will be denied again. Last time I rushed, that sorority invited me back only once. I never even got to pref night for them and was heartbroken. Ever since my sorority got shut down, I have been thinking of rushing my legacy sorority. However, friends have been encouraging me to bring a new national sorority to my campus since we don't have many sororities. I have taken the initial steps for this, and can't do anything more until panhel votes on it (which they are supposed to do this fall). So, should I wait for panhel to vote and then hope I get chosen to colonize this new sorority? Or should I rush my dream legacy sorority and hope that I don't get turned down again? If I got turned down again I would be embarrassed and heartbroken, that's the only thing holding me back.

p.s. I now have a friend in the legacy sorority who said she really really wants me to be in it. However, I know that one person cannot sway an entire sorority to give me a bid.

Thank you for your time and help!

Let's say that you decide to proceed wth bringing a new sorority to your campus. That is something that takes years to accomplish. Even if you were to start now, you would not likely be initiated prior to graduation. It does not happen as quickly as you seem to think.

IF you want to have a sorority experience in college, then work on doing what you can to improve your chances with existing sororities. Great grades, campus activities, a making friends with sorority women are all ways to help increase your chances. Good luck!

33girl · #5 08-09-2014, 12:12 PM

As a side note, don't feel betrayed that the school/panhel didn't tell you what was going on. Unless the school itself had disciplined the sorority, closure is a matter between the chapter and its headquarters.

Have you publicly aligned yourself with a group trying to bring a new sorority to campus? If so, rush might be difficult for you. Unless it's all your fellow former PNMs wanting to stay together, you're going to have to explain at rush why you became involved with this and have now changed your mind.

Sciencewoman · #6 08-09-2014, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Have you publicly aligned yourself with a group trying to bring a new sorority to campus? If so, rush might be difficult for you. Unless it's all your fellow former PNMs wanting to stay together, you're going to have to explain at rush why you became involved with this and have now changed your mind.

Just what I was thinking. Honestly, I think recruitment will be politically difficult for you, on top of it being your second try with the remaining groups. You never know unless you try, but I do think your situation is going to challenging, unfortunately.

If Panhel does vote in favor of extension this year, it's not unreasonable to assume a new sorority would colonize the following school year, and colonies do bid a range of class years. So, I don't think that will be too long for you, IF Panhel votes in favor THIS year.

flowerchild28 · #7 08-09-2014, 06:19 PM

so far, no one really knows I specifically have tried to expand Greek life. To be honest, expanding would be for the better of the school, not just because I want to be in a sorority and think it will help my chances (we also have a few underground organizations that are detrimental to the school). I know before I came along all other sororities wanted Greek expansion and Panhellenic was going to hold a vote even if I hadn't advocated for it. Do you all still think that will hurt my chances? Thank you everyone for your advice it is truly helpful

33girl · #8 08-09-2014, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flowerchild28

so far, no one really knows I specifically have tried to expand Greek life. To be honest, expanding would be for the better of the school, not just because I want to be in a sorority and think it will help my chances (we also have a few underground organizations that are detrimental to the school). I know before I came along all other sororities wanted Greek expansion and Panhellenic was going to hold a vote even if I hadn't advocated for it. Do you all still think that will hurt my chances? Thank you everyone for your advice it is truly helpful

You seem very know it all-y for someone who was pledging for less than 6 weeks, unless your school really is the size of a postage stamp. Undergrounds don't stay around if the campus doesn't support them, and that includes other Greeks.

Griffins&Quills · #9 08-09-2014, 10:57 PM

And panhellenic extension is not a project that is undertaken lightly. Groups don't just decide to expand on a whim. The timing REALLY has to be right.

flowerchild28 · #10 08-09-2014, 11:20 PM

My intent was not to come off as a know it all, I'm sorry if it seemed that way. My school has about 3,000 students. The campus does not like the undergrounds, I remember during orientation there was a mandatory meeting about clubs and the like, and the vice principal listed the undergrounds and specifically said they are not backed by the school. None of the other sororities like the undergrounds either because they take girls away from them and, to be honest, the girls in the undergrounds are downright mean to other sororities. There's not much the school can do about it, though, believe me they have tried. When I was still in the sorority Panhellenic even came to each house and had sisters give tips on how to get rid of the undergrounds. So it is a big problem on campus. I really hope I am not sounding rude at all, obviously you all know much more about rushing and sororities than I do. But my school is really small and rush is very different here than at larger schools.

33girl · #11 08-09-2014, 11:33 PM

So the school and the other sororities hate them. What about the fraternities? What about just random students on campus?

Yep. That's what I thought.

Trust me, these organizations don't continue to exist unless the women in them get positive reinforcement from SOMEWHERE. No one would associate with a group that adds nothing but negativity to your college experience.

And if the underground groups really are taking girls away to that degree, that means the recognized sororities are failing to provide a superior experience, and IMO that situation needs to be remedied before a new chapter comes to campus.

Griffins&Quills · #12 08-09-2014, 11:34 PM

Tangent (not to you OP, just if someone knows, I'm curious): when groups are de-recognized and are "underground" groups, can they actually initiate members?

33girl · #13 08-09-2014, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griffins&Quills

Tangent (not to you OP, just if someone knows, I'm curious): when groups are de-recognized and are "underground" groups, can they actually initiate members?

We had a big thread about this nomenclature a few years ago.

When a group is derecognized by the school only but not the GLO HQ, yes, they can initiate members. There are systems where all of Greek life has been derecognized for bogus reasons (Santa Clara or Princeton are good examples), the HQs know the reasons are bogus, and continue to support the chapters. They can't be called underground as the HQ is completely aware they exist.

When a group is derecognized by the school AND the GLO HQ, that's what I call "underground." They should be acting in a semi-secretive manner (i.e. no letter shirts, jackets, outright use of the name) but that's not always the case. No, they cannot officially initiate members into that GLO and anyone who joins and then trots onto the national site looking for their member number is going to find bupkus. The majority of people who join these groups are well aware of that fact, however. Do they use official ritual? That depends from group to group.

Griffins&Quills · #14 08-09-2014, 11:59 PM

Hmm, that's interesting. Like I said, I was just curious. Thanks for the answer!

pinksequins · #15 08-10-2014, 05:38 AM

Getting back to the OP's post, Titchou's advice above seemsd solid. Put your best foot forward and improve what you can (convo skills, attire) over last year's recruitment. The expansion option won't present itself until afterward if ever.

Re undergrounds: they are not always as easily squelched as one might think. Some of the SUNYs, for example, have had a heck of a time trying to manage/eliminate them. I know nothing about the OP's campus.