The Golden Rule

[shirley1929]

GreekChat is a wonderful place for learning about all sorts of GLO’s. I know that many of the “old timers” get tired of repetitive questions and ignorance, but I thought I’d offer up some food for thought:

We are dealing with 18-20 year old women, most who are moving away from home for the first time and going through yet another life transition through recruitment. Emotions and tensions run high.

We’re also dealing with their mothers, most of whom are sane, NON heli-moms, but their emotions are running high as well. Both groups may not be stepping out with their best foot forward when the stumble upon GreekChat.

1) Please do not “out” someone or threaten to tank their rush because of something they say out of ignorance or frustration. A simple PM or message to “please edit your post” would suffice. After that, please step away from the keyboard.

2) Limit your QFP’s. Sometimes it feels like that person is trying to be chased off the message board when every statement they make is QFPed. Doesn’t exactly make for a welcoming “We’re so happy to hear your story and we’re rooting for you” environment.

3) Yes, they need to slow down and read historical links, but sometimes they just aren’t thinking rationally. Since they have just found Greek Chat, they might assume we haven’t been around a long time. We have, but they don’t realize that at first.

4) If someone has a differing opinion than you, please do not refer to him/her as a Sockpuppet or Troll. Particularly if that person’s start date with GC is longer than this past week. That person might have actually been lurking for quite sometime and finally decided to speak up. Also, just because someone hasn’t mentioned their GLO by name, does not mean that they are not a member of one. It might just mean that they’re trying to be discreet.

5) Can we refrain from bashing people who decide to withdraw? I get it…there are some/many/we’ll-actually-never-know-a-real-number who feel superior to certain groups and that makes me sad and angry. I don’t like the ones who come in and bash the system, either. However, if a woman chooses to maximize her options all the way through, goes through the Pref parties and STILL isn’t feeling a connection, she doesn’t deserve bashing later. By signing a MRABA on a group she’s not feeling comfortable with, she’s signing on for four things:

a. A year long attachment to that bid she’s unsure of
b. Possibly a lifetime with an org she’s unsure of
c. A financial commitment to a group she’s unsure of
d. Taking a bid away from another girl who might actually be dying to receive it

My 18 year old self would not be emotionally able to handle this sort of commitment, even if someone told me I’d get there eventually. After meeting only 10 people or so, if I wasn’t sure…I’m not signing on the dotted line. I particularly feel like jumping on them after the fact (when we can’t change it) is silly and childish. Tell them you’re sorry it didn’t work out and move on.

6) Furthermore, I’d like to contend that “dog piling” and generally being unkind to strangers is unbecoming of each of our GLO’s. In today’s society, I believe that kicking a person when they are down, on the internet, while hiding behind a username is pretty much the exact definition of “cyber-bullying”. There have been tragic cases noted in the media. Please do not become one of the headlines.

I’m not in favor of unicorns-pooping-rainbows, but I AM in favor of being kind and remembering the golden rule when dealing with all humans.

I’m also not stupid enough to believe that I’m not about to get flamed right now.

I also know someone is going to reply to this post defending something they said or did. I may or may not be speaking directly to you.

And, I also know that someone will make a snark about me and my measly 85 posts. Just because I haven't said much, doesn't mean I don't have much to say.

I’m sure there’s more – I’ll be back.

Let the bashing begin in…5…4…3…

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

Furthermore, I’d like to contend that “dog piling” and generally being unkind to strangers is unbecoming of each of our GLO’s. In today’s society, I believe that kicking a person when they are down, on the internet, while hiding behind a username is pretty much the exact definition of “cyber-bullying”. There have been tragic cases noted in the media. Please do not become one of the headlines. Your GLO would not be happy.

Don't tell folks what is acceptable in their respective GLOs.

Aside from that, none of this advice is new.

[lovespink88]

This should be fun.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Don't tell folks what is acceptable in their respective GLOs.

Aside from that, none of this advice is new.

I didn't say what is/isn't acceptable. I said unbecoming. Totally different.

You're right, none of it is new but bears repeating. And usually when someone says something like "can't we all just get along?" There's even more of a dog pile.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

I didn't say what is/isn't acceptable. I said unbecoming. Totally different.

You're right, none of it is new but bears repeating. And usually when someone says something like "can't we all just get along?" There's even more of a dog pile.

"Your GLO would not be happy" = "This is unacceptable behavior in your GLO"

Anyway, this thread will undoubtedly turn into a trainwreck, but I get what you're trying to say.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

"Your GLO would not be happy" = "This is unacceptable behavior in your GLO"

Anyway, this thread will undoubtedly turn into a trainwreck, but I get what you're trying to say.

Fair enough. "Your GLO would not be happy" was in reference to you (not you personally of course) becoming a headline in cyber-bullying tragedy. I'm not sure I can name one GLO who would be happy about that. But then again, I'm not familiar with the ins and outs of them all, so I will retract that blanket statement.

I hope it doesn't become a trainwreck. Really. I just think that GC is too valuable a resource for us all to not be nice to each other and generally helpful. If the consensus is that I belong in Rainbow-Brite-Unicorn-Poopy-Strawberry-Shortcake-Land, well then so be it.

[KSUViolet06]

You know, attempting to tell someone what his/her org would find acceptable NEVER goes well. There's no possible way you can tell me what Tri Sigma does/doesn't find acceptable.

I don't see anyone bashing anyone for the stuff you say we're "bashing" people about, either.

Everyone is entitled to post what they see fit. You are most welcome to find another place to post if you do not like people being entitled to opinions.

[33girl]

Unless you're privvy to the workings of EVERY GLO, you honestly can't say what would or would not make them happy. And what do you consider "the GLO"? The national council? Your chapter? The alumnae? The founders? Who? I mean, some of our founders would really not be jazzed that people of color are wearing their letters.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

You know, attempting to tell someone what his/her org would find acceptable NEVER goes well. There's no possible way you can tell me what Tri Sigma does/doesn't find acceptable.

Again, please see post above. I retracted my blanket statement of saying that your GLO would not be proud of you if they (and you) were attached to a headline of a cyber-bullying crime. You are correct that I do not know if they would be proud of you or not.

I believe that is the ONLY place I made a statement like that, but if I am wrong, please let me know.

Again, apologies.

[AZTheta]

popcorn, soda, on the sofa.

I'm sorry I complained about no trainwrecks. I really am sorry.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

Again, please see post above. I retracted my blanket statement of saying that your GLO would not be proud of you if they (and you) were attached to a headline of a cyber-bullying crime. You are correct that I do not know if they would be proud of you or not.

Where on Earth do you see people committing "cyber-bullying crime?"

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

GreekChat is a wonderful place for learning about all sorts of GLO’s. I know that many of the “old timers” get tired of repetitive questions and ignorance, but I thought I’d offer up some food for thought:

We are dealing with 18-20 year old women, most who are moving away from home for the first time and going through yet another life transition through recruitment. Emotions and tensions run high.

We’re also dealing with their mothers, most of whom are sane, NON heli-moms, but their emotions are running high as well. Both groups may not be stepping out with their best foot forward when the stumble upon GreekChat.

1) Please do not “out” someone or threaten to tank their rush because of something they say out of ignorance or frustration. A simple PM or message to “please edit your post” would suffice. After that, please step away from the keyboard.

2) Limit your QFP’s. Sometimes it feels like that person is trying to be chased off the message board when every statement they make is QFPed. Doesn’t exactly make for a welcoming “We’re so happy to hear your story and we’re rooting for you” environment.

3) Yes, they need to slow down and read historical links, but sometimes they just aren’t thinking rationally. Since they have just found Greek Chat, they might assume we haven’t been around a long time. We have, but they don’t realize that at first.

4) If someone has a differing opinion than you, please do not refer to him/her as a Sockpuppet or Troll. Particularly if that person’s start date with GC is longer than this past week. That person might have actually been lurking for quite sometime and finally decided to speak up. Also, just because someone hasn’t mentioned their GLO by name, does not mean that they are not a member of one. It might just mean that they’re trying to be discreet.

5) Can we refrain from bashing people who decide to withdraw? I get it…there are some/many/we’ll-actually-never-know-a-real-number who feel superior to certain groups and that makes me sad and angry. I don’t like the ones who come in and bash the system, either. However, if a woman chooses to maximize her options all the way through, goes through the Pref parties and STILL isn’t feeling a connection, she doesn’t deserve bashing later. By signing a MRABA on a group she’s not feeling comfortable with, she’s signing on for four things:

a. A year long attachment to that bid she’s unsure of
b. Possibly a lifetime with an org she’s unsure of
c. A financial commitment to a group she’s unsure of
d. Taking a bid away from another girl who might actually be dying to receive it

My 18 year old self would not be emotionally able to handle this sort of commitment, even if someone told me I’d get there eventually. After meeting only 10 people or so, if I wasn’t sure…I’m not signing on the dotted line. I particularly feel like jumping on them after the fact (when we can’t change it) is silly and childish. Tell them you’re sorry it didn’t work out and move on.

6) Furthermore, I’d like to contend that “dog piling” and generally being unkind to strangers is unbecoming of each of our GLO’s. In today’s society, I believe that kicking a person when they are down, on the internet, while hiding behind a username is pretty much the exact definition of “cyber-bullying”. There have been tragic cases noted in the media. Please do not become one of the headlines.

I’m not in favor of unicorns-pooping-rainbows, but I AM in favor of being kind and remembering the golden rule when dealing with all humans.

I’m also not stupid enough to believe that I’m not about to get flamed right now.

I also know someone is going to reply to this post defending something they said or did. I may or may not be speaking directly to you.

And, I also know that someone will make a snark about me and my measly 85 posts. Just because I haven't said much, doesn't mean I don't have much to say.

I’m sure there’s more – I’ll be back.

Let the bashing begin in…5…4…3…

and a QFP just for kicks.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

and a QFP just for kicks.

Thanks! I seriously don't want to be flamed, I just want people to be nice to others. It's just a reminder to everyone, that's all. It's not about me, but rather the people who come here looking for advice at a potentially fragile time in their lives.

AzTheta - I'm sitting on the couch with you and just popped open a beer.

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

and a QFP just for kicks.

Actually, I like the recruitment thread QFPs. It condenses the story into two or three posts rather than 20 pages of “Go Orange Julius!”

[KSUViolet06]

^^^EXACTLY!