What to do?

[WishfulGreek]

Hey everyone so here is my story! I just went through rush and it definitely was an experience! I went through recruitment at a fairly competitive school but not as competitive as somewhere like Ole’ Miss. I was a sophomore transfer going through recruitment, so I was definitely aware of that disadvantage but there is an upperclassman quota and I met so many other sophomores going through recruitment as well so I wasn’t as concerned about that factor. The week went relatively well some minor disappointments but overall I really just enjoyed getting to meet so many great girls. I had full schedules everyday which was encouraging.

On pref night I had two sororities that I had loved and would be enthusiastic to receive a bid from and then one house that had nice girls but I just didn’t feel connected with (I had ranked them lowest the past two days but due to other sororities cutting me I kept coming back). They just didn’t seem like my kind of girls, I am more on the conservative side and do not like to party and this house was known as being the party house, which is fine but just not something I was interested being a part of. And I know some of you will probably say not every girl is going to be a party animal and I’m sure you could find someone who had the similar values as me, but besides that I just did not feel like my personality meshed well with theirs.

When it came time to ranking our choices I was torn about who to put first or second cause I really did love both groups and I knew I would be happy with either outcome. I had such great conversations in both of these houses and I knew mutual friends in both houses. I could tell one of the houses liked me (or at least acted to) a lot. I told them how they were my last house every day and the active I was talking to said she thought it was a sign. I asked if I could keep the notes they passed out on pref night and the active told me no, but I could get it when I came back tomorrow on bid day.

I put down both groups I loved and the group I was so-so about because we were told it is best to always maximize your options and they said 96% of girls get their first or second choice. So never in a million years did I think getting a spot in my third choice was going to happen to me.

I was so excited for bid day knowing I was about to find my place in an amazing sorority that would provide me with solid friendships that would last a lifetime. I got to bid day so excited to see where I had been placed. I opened my envelope and saw the color of the crest and was confused and thought maybe I was remembering the colors wrong. (silly me) I pulled the bid card all the way out of the envelope and I read that I have been invited to be a member of my third choice sorority. I immediately put the bid back in the envelope, confused and disappointed. As the other girls squealed with delight running to their groups I just stood there. I didn’t know what to do. I started crying. I have wanted this for so long and I couldn’t believe that this hadn’t worked out the way I expected. My rho gamma/rho chi/ gamma chi/ or whatever you want call it came over to me and asked me how I was doing. I told her what was going on and she said I should go to bid day and just give it a chance. I have wanted to be greek for so long and I figured I had come this far I decided to go. I felt bad because so many girls were excited on the bus and I almost felt guilty for not having that same enthusiasm. I would hate myself if I took someone else’s spot who wanted to be in this house that badly but didn’t get it because I was given a bid. I wanted to make the most of it, so I tried to pull myself together.

My bid day partner picked me up and could tell I had been crying and asked if I wanted to go upstairs to talk. We were in her room as I she asked what was wrong and I told her it was just an unexpected outcome and she said she understood that this sorority was not her first choice either. I asked her how long it took to feel comfortable and she said it took about a year for her and the only reason why she stuck it out was she too had always wanted to be greek. I continuously apologized for crying, I felt like such a brat for crying in their house, I seriously felt so awful. We went downstairs and I tried to make the most of it and get to know the girls but it just didn’t feel right. I eventually had her take me home because I just needed some time. She said she would definitely text me tomorrow to hang out and told her I really wanted to hang out and was looking forward to it (which was sincere, I really did want to hang out with some of the girls and give it a fair chance). The next day I didn’t get a text or anything which was a letdown.

I talked to my friend who is in one of the sororities that was in my top two and she said she was shocked when I wasn’t there on bid day. She thought I had preferenced someone else over her sorority. And she told me that she doesn’t understand how I got my third choice because they wanted me. ( I know that she could just be being nice). But she said there were five girls or so who they thought would be at their house on bid day (because her chapter wanted them) but ended up getting someone who they ranked lower. She said it must be a computer mistake or something (I know this is probably unlikely). But the chapter I did receive a bid from I know usually barely makes quota so she said maybe I was higher ranked on their bid list so I was placed there first? Not quite sure how accurate this is either. Just including it so you guys know all the information I have received.

Anyways I have been to a few meetings and hung out with different girls on separate occasions but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels so forced. They are very nice sweet girls but there just isn’t that spark or connection. And a majority does party/drink, so that’s something that separates us as well. I just wish it felt natural and was comfortable. I just don’t think it should be this forced. I just don’t know what to do.


At this point I’m not sure if I should just depledge and find a different way to get involved on campus or keep giving it time or if I should depledge and rush next year (as a junior). Opinions/Adviceare much appreciated! (Please try not to be extremely rude, there’s a difference between being brutally honest and being brutal)

I know this is long, and I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read it and give feedback!