I just need to vent. What a MISTAKE!!!

[humblerumble]

Thank you everyone!

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

I understand that I will be reminded about how very important it is to choose your Sorority/Fraternity wisely.
Having no real knowledge of Greek life (since no one in my family is Greek), and no understanding of the TRUE connection and networking opportunities as well as community service opportunities available amongst certain orgs, I honestly feel that I kind of blindly chose mine. And now I regret it more than I ever thought I would.

There have been no opportunities to network or obtain mentorship. When I've tried, I get turned away. The women in this org (I HATE to sound shallow..but I have to be honest) don't really carry themselves well in terms of their public appearance. The chapter I came in through was smaller, and full of older women, so I didnt recognize this at first. But the women are generally unkempt, hair not done, nails dirty and chipped, clothing is ill fitting, and it's almost like they don't believe in makeup. Many of them are also out of shape. I am embarrassed to call them Soror, or to show people pictures of myself with them.

The org itself doesnt get much respect, and is very unorganized. The website is a joke, everything takes 45-90 days before it's handled, and overall, it's falling to pieces. I have smaller nieces and cousins who want to be Greek when they go to college, and I cringe when I hear them say they want to be an "XYZ", like me.

Also, before induction, I was SO close to backing away from this org, but a good friend, who is also a member convinced me to "push on", telling me that I shouldnt be a quitter, and so on. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I now realize that she did it because misery loves company. Immediatley after my induction, she began to complain about everything and everybody, and even once said she was glad that I was in because she wouldnt have to go through it alone.

I guess in the end, I know the rules, and I'm stuck. I just wish the LARGER governing body of all the orgs would allow some kind of "open window", where one could switch their org if they'd like. I know that's insane, and it will never happen...but I swear that I dream about it day in and day out. I've truly made the biggest mistake of my life. Dues are increasing, and I don't feel that I'm getting a mutual benefit from being in this org. I do LOADS of community service with a group of friends who are unrelated to this org.

I made the decision to join because I beleived in the mission and legacy of the founders. but also because I was "sold" into thinking so much would be available to me. That the relationship would be mututally beneficial. I could do community service, youth outreach, and gain mentorship while getting networking opportunities. I have been a hard working Soror.

This was a horrible mistake....sometimes I'm near tears, and I wish I'd never done this. When I see my colleagues who are in other orgs, their membership benefits are evident. They are in the community working, getting a leg up on job opportunities, and more. They are also more respected. I even began to dislike our colors and handsign. The colors are unladylike and ugly and the hand sign makes me look cripple (that last part was seriously immature venting..just had to get it out).

Well...thanks for listening.

QFP because some people are still asleep.

[humblerumble]

I'm sorry. I don't know what QFP means...
Thankyou for replying though...

[Kevin]

Either quit or make the best of it.

If nothing else, it must feel great to be sitting in a room *knowing* that you're better than everyone else, yes?

[humblerumble]

Not really, lol!
When I tell others I'm affilliated with this org, I see the disrespect spread across their faces! Conversley (sp?), some people say "YOU'RE an 'XYZ?!...that CANT be possible!". It's because these women have such a bad reputation for being sloppy, and so on...I wish I could quit...and go to another org, the one that's truly in my heart, but I know I can't. It's just not possible. For anyone else reading this who is young or on their way to college/Greek life...RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!!!! PLEASE!!!

[agzg]

I find it hard to believe that every member of a large national organization is unkempt or dirty. Especially since (I'm assuming, here) it's an NPHC organization. I also find it hard to believe that a large national organization is not allowing you networking opportunities. Perhaps you should take the initiative and put yourself in contact with area alumnae.

Sounds like you've got a case of buyer's remorse. It happens. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it as far as joining a different organization.

I realize I'm out of my lane here, greekchatters, but I would assume that these situations are similar as far as NPC v. NPHC v. NALFO.

[groovypq]

I agree with Kevin. Quit or make the best of it. At the very least, have the respect for your sisters -- who you once chose and also chose you -- to not slander them in such a way.

If you really think it's so bad, run for a leadership position and try to effect positive change. Do you have sisterhood activities? Organize a "spa day" and give each other manicures, hairstyles, etc. Do an etiquette workshop, or a do's and don'ts fashion show.

You're not getting out of this organization and getting into another one. Try to make a positive experience out of it.

[AOEforme]

Concur. Quit or try. You're doing absolutely no one any good by whining. You should either dissociate and go on with your life or attempt to make a difference.

If this is an NPHC group, you will have the connections and mentorship you seek. You just might actually have to take the initiative to go find them.

Try and take a leadership role and see if you can begin to steer your chapter in a direction you'd like. Get your friend who agrees with you on your side and work to make your group better. This is a much better use of your time and energy.

If you look for the benefits, I'm sure you'll find them.

If you're not willing to put in the work for that, it's probably best if you leave.

[humblerumble]

I appreciate all of the advice. I'm just curious as to why you've all assumed this is a NPHC organization?

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

I appreciate all of the advice. I'm just curious as to why you've all assumed this is a NPHC organization?

Because NPC orgs don't say "Soror" and it just doesn't sound likely that it's a Multicultural or NALFO org.

Plus, because you said "induction" and not "initiation" I can almost guarantee that I know which sorority it is.

[SydneyK]

While it isn't that much of an indicator anymore, the mention of handsigns was another clue for me. (Many NPCs use handsigns now though.)

[MexicanMami0286]

Just wow at this post...

I'm glad someone QFP'ed this.

I think it's easy to assume it's an NPHC organizations from mentioning things like "soror" and "handsign," though we all could attest that it could be a non-NPHC GLO...

In any case, it's up to you to take the initiative to make certain things happen. Just because you see others in different organizations with a "leg up" on opportunities, doesn't mean they simply got this from their membership with a certain org. I'm sure these women are qualified, despite their membership privileges and have taken it upon themselves to initiate contact with others and create the opportunities they want to see/partake in, whether it's in their careers or communities.

Perhaps, you should consider joining another chapter. If you're in a metro area, you may have several to choose from or you could consider simply participating as a member-at-large and continue the work of your organization that way (or continue participating in the service you've been doing with other organizations).

And as others have posted, perhaps, you should just quit the organization and find a "better" use of your time.

[MexicanMami0286]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Plus, because you said "induction" and not "initiation" I can almost guarantee that I know which sorority it is.

Ditto...

[humblerumble]

could someone tell me what QFP means? Forgive me. I'm not hip to the lingo on this site
Thanks.
Also, out of respect for the org itself, all I can do is allow others to assume they know which one it is. I won't mention the name of the group, it's NPC/NPHC or NON NPHC/NPC afilliation, etc. I mean, I feel what I feel, and I appreciate all of your advice. I thank you all for not giving me a hard time about this rant. I just really needed a place and space to speak my mind freely and get this off of my chest. It's a pretty heavy load to carry....

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

could someone tell me what QFP means? Forgive me. I'm not hip to the lingo on this site
Thanks.

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